The Uneasiness

I hate the uneasy feeling that has plagued me through out the day. It doesn't help that I haven't heard from Hubster at all today. Not one single peep from that end. Praying for the uneasy feeling to go away and for Hubster's safety.

Got to love those Deployment Gremlins...

This is what I came home to after my doctor's appointment that didn't happen. This was caused from the toilet mishap last night. Isn't it just lovely? I haven't taken a picture yet, but the hole is about 3 times bigger than that now. We got home from church, and another section had fallen down. Our deductible is $500. Just something else that I need. That doesn't even touch what the price is going to be for the plumber.

Other than the day seeming to drag, it was an okay day. I got to chat with Hubster online. Then tonight is church tonight, and boy was it good. It was a wonderful way to start off the Bible Conference this year. I'm looking forward to tomorrow nights preachers. My favorite night will be Friday though. My two favorite preachers are going to be preaching. I wish I had somebody to go with me. I can think of no way better to spend New Year's Eve than in church. It was refreshing tonight. I'm ready to start the New Year off with a bang. I'm going to start forcing myself to get up for Sunday school and maybe even the early service on Sundays.

All of the kids are doing great. BG was hollering at the hole in the ceiling. It was really funny. She kept pointing at it and jabbering. I will make sure that I get video of it tomorrow for Hubster. I'm ready for school to start back. I'm sure the boys are too. Ready for the school year to be over for more than one reason.

UGH!

That is all I have to say. Well, no I really do have more to say than that. I guess the deployment gremlins that have stayed away for the past 2 months decided to rear it's ugly head. Those stupid, stupid gremlins.

Day started off pretty good. I met a couple of other Seabee wives for a movie and lunch. We went and saw Sherlock Holmes. While I was in the movies, Hubster texted me. I didn't get to chat with him but for a few minutes. He told me he would try and get back online after the movie was over. I never heard from him again. I guess he either couldn't get through, or he fell asleep. I don't know what happened, but I certainly don't like it when I don't get a chance to talk to him. It just puts a pall over my day. One of the wives and I were going to go and do something after the movie, but KB's friend's mom called. She wanted to know when I was going to come and get him. It had started to snow. Yes, we have had snow 2 times in 5 days. We aren't supposed to get snow 2 times in 5 days. That is unheard of. I guess it is all that global warming.

Got home with all of the kids, and I was sitting upstairs when TB started hollering my name. Seems that the toilet was overflowing, and we had about an inch of water in the upstairs bathroom. I ran to Lowe's to buy a shop vac to get the water up, and the water was pouring through the light fixture downstairs along with 2 other little spots on the ceiling. The toilet upstairs isn't working, and I'm not sure if one of the girls didn't happen to put something in the toilet. I have no idea. Going to go and get a better plunger tomorrow, and hope that it will cure the problem .

Internet has not been working properly since Sunday. I called and we got it fixed. Glad that it is fixed. I prefer to play on the internet in my bed.

It's Monday, and I'm done...

I'm sitting here waiting on KB's friend to pick him up. They should be here in the next few minutes, and I thought I might actually sit here and play catch up.

MY brother, his wife, and my niece came over Saturday afternoon for Christmas. They brought over the boys computers. They were both so excited to have them. I can't say that I blame them. He got the girls their own little "laptops". They both love them which means they all leave my laptop alone. We didn't do much of any thing at all over the weekend.

We watched football all day yesterday. All the teams that we wanted to win won. Yesterday though was one of "those" days. I don't know how else to explain it. It is one of those days during a deployment when your emotions run all over the board. First off, I woke up late because KG did not sleep well at all. That caused me to miss not only church yesterday morning, but also a chance to chat online. That is NEVER a good way to start the day. I woke up feeling off. My head was hurting, and it felt like I had been on a bender. Except for the fact that I hadn't. I don't hardly ever drink any more. Then it just seemed to never get better. I did get a chance to chat with Hubster online. I'm grateful for that. I really am. It just isn't the same. I did get to take a short nap in the afternoon. I was hoping that would improve my mood or at least lift the cloud of doom surrounding me. I got up and watched the Sunday night football game. While it was on, I was chatting online with 2 different Seabee wives. I really wish both of them lived closer to me. SD is like me, a SAHM. We were discussing the wide range of emotions that we were both experiencing today. We both were saying how we wish we worked outside the home because it seems that the days drag. We always wish for the thing that we can't have I guess. SD and I were talking about how we would like a few days of not having to worry about anybody else but ourselves. The stress of having to constantly be "on" is doing us in. She was cracking me up with her I want to be the crap out of somebody and then hug them. Yes, there are days that I feel that way. I just want to shut myself off and shut down. I want just a few days to myself. I don't want to have to worry about anybody.

FD and I decided that we were some sort of magnets this deployment for the disturbed. Both of us have had to deal with somebody telling us that a family member is bipolar. Oye. She said that she wished that she hadn't even opened up that can of worms with the other spouse. It was really funny because I was picturing her picking up all these worms and trying to get them back into their little can. All the while, talking to the worms telling them not to come back out.

Maybe it is me that is disturbed. LOL. All I really know at this point is, that one, I'm really ready for this to be over. Two, that I miss Hubster terribly. Three, that I have made some wonderful new friends, and four, I feel at times like I'm done. Not done with Hubster, but done with this deployment. I want to take my ball home. I don't want to play anymore. I want to tell the Navy that we quit. Don't think they would appreciate that, but it doesn't hurt to fantasize about telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine. Oh well, I will pull myself up by my bootstraps. Ha, ha, ha...I don't wear boots. I will put my big girl panties on. I will plaster a smile on my face, and I will fake it till I make it. Because just because I say I'm done, doesn't mean that I'm really done. I am SuperMom. I can do this. I will do this, and I will be waiting at home for Hubster because dad gum it, I love that man to distraction!

Christmas Day...

I received those beautiful flowers yesterday from Hubster for Christmas. They smell amazing. I love them. They have all of my favorite flowers in them. I can't say how much I love them.

The boys woke me at 4 AM this morning to let me know that Santa had arrived. I told them to go back to bed. Then they proceeded to tell me exactly what they had gotten. I told them not to mess with their Santa gifts until 8 AM because I was NOT getting up. During that time, they cleaned their bedroom, the playroom, and the bathroom. That earned TB me not taking away his new DSi that Santa left. They waited until 8, and then I got up with them. I have to run to Lowe's tomorrow to pick up 2 nuts for the girls Santa gifts, so that they can ride them.

Got to speak with Hubster today on the phone, and then chatted with him 2 times. I cried when the phone number popped up on my phone. I miss him so terribly much. I can't wait to see him, and to hold him again.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Boy what a day. First off, yesterday it was in the 70s here. Today we have 3 inches of snow on the ground. For the first time that I can ever remember, we will have a white Christmas. It is extremely pretty and maybe just maybe, I will take a picture with my new pink camera from the kids and post it. I love that it is pink. Hubster isn't going to want to play with my pink camera. The kids all loved their presents. The girls were overwhelmed with their gifts. I could literally put a few gifts up and regift them for their birthdays. They would never know the difference. The boys were given Ipods from their Daddy and I. I was mean though, and I wrapped up the accessories in 2 different boxes. Then I wrapped their Ipods up and put them in another present that had pjs and underwear. They couldn't figure out where their Ipod Nanos were. It was great. They both loved them. I'm glad that they liked their gifts. It seems like all of the kids liked their gifts. We didn't get to make it to church tonight because the roads were icy and nasty. I wasn't going to. I did dress the kids in their church clothes, and I think I will dress them up again on Sunday for church.

Santa though isn't doing so hot. We went to put together the girl's ride on police cars. Both of them are missing an important nut that holds the handlebars on. That means they won't be under the tree in the morning. Thankfully they are little, and I had picked them up something that they can have in the morning until I can get the necessary bolts. Then KB's electric razor scooter needed 2 tools that we don't have. He will get his gift, but he won't be able to ride it. He wouldn't have been able to ride it first thing any way. I didn't even want to look at TB's DSi.

I got so mad at my oldest tonight, that if my head could have spun around like a top it would have. I am now the proud owner of his Ipod, a Wii, and a DSi come tomorrow morning until the child can learn to behave. UGH, his daddy would have come unglued on him. I did tell him that he can EARN each item back. All he has to do is behave himself, do what he is told, and to be nice to his siblings.

He did though do something today that amazed me. He astounds me at times with what he is able to do. His PSP was broke. The reader was not working. Hubster had a PSP that had been dropped, so the screen was broken. For some reason, we had held onto Hubster's busted PSP. Today, TB decided that he was going to take the two broke PSPs and make one that would work. He watched a video ONE time on Youtube on how to switch out the screens, and not 20 minutes later he had a working PSP. I was shocked and proud of him. He struggles so much in school, and he is always so down on himself. The boy though is very mechanical. There is no way I could do what he did.

I didn't get to talk to Hubster today on the phone, but he was able to IM two times. He got online around 10 PM my time. He had just finished running a 5K. I'm very proud of him. I told him that I want to start running, so maybe when he gets home we can run together.

I'm going to go to bed now. I'm sure that my children will wake me up early to see what Santa has brought them. I hope they love it as much as I love them.

Wednesday...

Boy it feels weird not to go to church on a Wednesday night. We have Christmas Eve Candlelight Service tomorrow, so tonight was canceled. I've got the kids clothes all ready to go. They should all look good. They are ready to open up their gifts, but they just have to wait. I haven't even wrapped any yet. I'm way, way behind. I am done buying theirs though. The only person I like is my dad, and he is by far the hardest person in the world to buy for. I have no idea what to give him ever. I can't wait to see the kids faces when they open up their gifts. They are going to love everything. I just know it. KB was already trying to get into some of her gifts in my closet.

Tomorrow looks like it is going to be a busy, busy day. Have to run to Sam's to get the stuff for supper. Going to the 5:00 PM service at church. Then home to eat and open gifts. Somewhere in all of that time, I'm going to have to wrap gifts.

I really miss Hubster during this time of year. This is his favorite season. I see something, and I want to tell him about it. That is when I realize that I can't just pick up the phone or take him to see it. I'm going to keep faking it till I make it. The holiday season is just about over, and I'm ready for it to be done.

It's another Manic Monday...

One of the other wives popped over for a few hours today to chat. While she was here, my mom ran some errands since I'm still not allowed to drive or lift the girls. She figured what better time to go. It was such a nice visit. I'm glad that she came over.

Going to meet up with some of the other wives for lunch, pedi , and a movie next Tuesday. Sounds like lots of fun. I'm just going to leave the boys at home and drop the girls off at the sitter. I have a hair appointment on the 5th for color and a cut. One of the ladies at church is going to do it for me. She seems to do a really good job.

Got to chat online with Hubster for a bit today. I sure do miss him. I can't wait to see him. He sent us Christmas cards and letters. I thought that was so sweet of him. Each of the kids got their own card with their own little note and some dinars in them. Of course the girls couldn't read their notes, but I read them to them. He wrote a poem in mine plus I got a separate letter from him. It was Christmas at our house. I loved them. It was such a sweet gesture. I never knew that my husband was such a poet.

The boys had their Christmas program at church yesterday. It was short and sweet. Just about all I could stand before the pain really kicked in. Thankfully I had some wonderful pain meds. Had to take some today because I thought it would be a good idea to vacuum. Nope, wasn't the brightest idea that I have had.

It is only 915 in the evening, and I'm already in bed for the night. Fixing to fall asleep. The meds make me very tired. The kids are all in their beds asleep, so I'm going to go to bed myself.

Hubster Wanted to Know Why...

I haven't blogged in a while. I could have sworn that I wrote a post on Friday or Saturday, but I don't see it. I must have dreamed it then.

I had my surgery on Thursday. For some reason, I had convinced myself that this was going to be nice and easy. That I would be back up and running the next day. Boy was I ever wrong. I don't know why I was thinking that this was going to be so easy. I felt better after giving birth than I do now. It doesn't help that I'm wiped out. It seems all I have done since Thursday is sleep. The pain meds knock me for a loop, but if I don't take them, I can't function because of how I hurt. My mom was laughing at me because as she said, they moved around your insides, what were you expecting. I don't know, but I wasn't expecting this. Next time I get the bright idea to have surgery, I'm not going to do it during a time where there is so much going on. I missed our Seabee Christmas party. That bummed me out. I wanted to go so bad. It sounds like every body had a fantastic time. I have now missed the last two major things that the FRG has done. I'm really not feeling a part of it. It seems that things keep popping up that I have no control over.

Top it off, I've lost my deployment bracelet that Hubster made for me. The last time that I had it was on Thursday before they wheeled me back to pre-op. I put it in my wallet, but it isn't there now. Why does that feel like a bad omen to me? I really need to find it. I feel lost without it.

Yesterday was Hubster and mine's 11th anniversary. I can't believe that it has been 11 years since we got married. It has been a wonderful 11 years. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I love the man more today than I did 11 years ago when I got married. I am truly blessed to have him in my life. What a long way we have come from where we started out.

I got our second gift card from Sears on the 17th. It was for another $100. Hubster told the boys to use it on me. That was sweet of him, so Grandpa is fixing to take the boys to Sears. Who knows what I'm going to end up with.

Tomorrow is the Day...

I have my surgery, and there will hopefully not be any more kids. I'm nervous about doing this without Hubster here, but I know he will be close by in thoughts and prayer. TB told me today that I didn't have to have surgery. That there was something that they could put in there that was birth control. I didn't know rather to laugh or die of embarrassment. I decided to laugh, and told him it was none of his business. That he needed to drop it. I'm really looking forward to not worrying about having another kid.

The only thing really going on around here is having to deal with the hospital. They seem to have my insurance messed up. I went for my preop on Tuesday only to be told that I owe $1000, and that they take a payment of 60%. Wait! What! I have Tricare Prime. I shouldn't owe any where near that amount. They told me that it was my deductible. Uh, no, first off the deductible for Tricare is at the most $300. I don't have $600 right at this moment to pay you, so they went ahead did all of the preop blood work and tests that they needed. I then went downstairs to the financial counselor. She told me that the $1000 was my deductible, and that the hospital is not part of Tricare's network any longer. That since it was the holidays, that I could pay $250 today. Then they would bill me for the rest, and that we could make payment arrangements. She even advised me that I would owe additional after the $1000. Oye, I was sick but I went ahead and paid my $250. I need to have the surgery. A kid would cost me more than that, and they were willing to work with me. When I got home, I got online to Tricare and sent an inquiry about what my total bill would be. I also picked up the phone and called them. They were so nice up there. They told me that I was covered at 100%, and that the hospital should have never charged me a dime. That even though the hospital is no longer in network, that my OB only does surgeries at that hospital. They had already negotiated a fee with the hospital. She told me to get my money back. I've been trying for two days now to get the hospital to talk to me. Tricare was even nice enough today to send me the approval information stating that it was 100% covered. I'm hoping that I get my money back real soon.

Still haven't finished up my Christmas shopping. I will hopefully be done with that in the next couple of days.

This is the last week of school for the semester. We have made it 18 weeks. I'm hoping that the next 20 flies by just as fast.

La Te Da

I actually got to speak to Hubster on the phone today. I think it had been close to 2.5 weeks, since I had gotten to speak to him on the phone. He even had a chance to call our pastor. Our pastor is going to have a chat with the boys. They don't seem to be listening all that well to me.

Hubster passed his test for this SCWS pin, so that means he will appear before the board soon which is the second and final step to get the SCWS pin. He has to pass it in order to even test for advancement in February.

Tomorrow is pre-op day for me. I don't know what all that entails. It sounds like loads of fun though. NOT! I do have to see my doctor also for my pre-op appointment with her. I hope that every thing goes okay. This is making me nervous. I'm dreading Hubster not being here with me, but I know that every thing will be fine.

KG sneezed today, and I hear BG yell across the room, "Bless you." It was so funny. I laughed and laughed. BG also had her cup tucked underneath her arm. She couldn't reach it, and she was going around and around in circles like a puppy dog chasing their tail. I was cracking up at her. I wish I had recorded it. It was really funny. The boys are doing good. It looks like TB has passed all of his classes this quarter. We will know soon. This is the end of the 9 weeks for them. That means only 18 more weeks of school. I should start a countdown of some sort even though I don't know why I would be looking forward to the boys being out of school.

Another Week Has Started...

I hope this week flies by just as fast as last week did. I hope that this week doesn't give me any surprises. I don't need surprises.

We made it to church this morning. My parents went with me, but they were wanting to hear the special guest speaker that I have been raving about for the last year. I was really wanting them to go to the service tonight because that was when he was doing his concert. He is one of the few performers who sound better in person than on their record. We came home for a few hours. We straightened up the house. Then I had to have the boys back up at church at 430 for choir practice. I went ahead and went in to find a seat at 5. That is when they opened the church doors. I was sitting there trying to get the nerve up to go and talk to our pastor. I'm in need of some help, and I really hate asking for help. I just can't stand it. With my surgery scheduled for Thursday, I'm having problems finding somebody to watch the girls and take me to the hospital even. I was dropping the girls off in nursery when one of the ladies from our Sunday school class asked me how things were going. I just broke down in tears. I'm feeling very over whelmed right now. I told her what was going on. She has offered to come and take me to the hospital, to stay with me, and then to bring me home. They told me at church not to worry about the kids. They would find somebody to watch them. I just have such a hard time asking for help. I know that I can't do every thing by myself, but I just don't like to put people out. I have to get over that. I go in Tuesday for my preop appointment at the hospital, and then I have a doctor's appointment.

KB got punched in the eye by our pastor's kid. They were telling me about it when I went to get KB. Seems that the kids thought it would be funny to steal his shoes. I'm sure I'm not getting the whole story, but according to KB, he was innocent in all of this. The youth pastor told me that there was some pushing going on. I do know that the pastor's kid probably got in lots of trouble. My thoughts about it was that KB has an older brother, so this wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last time that something like that happens.

I mailed out 3 packages to Hubster on Monday. He got one of them today. I was laughing because he got the decorations for his little tree except the hangers that hang them up are in one of the other boxes. I find that ironic and amusing. I don't know how funny he thinks it is.

We are less than a week away from Hubster's and our 11th anniversary. I can't believe that we have been married nearly 11 years. I hope he knows just exactly how much I love him and miss him.

Praying for a very fast week and one filled with many blessings for me, my family, and my friends.

Oh Boy...

I hate hearing the news that I got today. It didn't surprise me, but I certainly didn't want to hear it. Then I really didn't have any body to talk to about it. I wasn't sure who knew and who didn't know. It isn't like it should be a big surprise. Somebody has to get equipment moved and housing built for all of the extra bodies.

KG is sitting on my back giving me a "massage". She is actually doing a pretty good job. It is really funny. I was going to take the kids to see Christmas lights tonight, but BG fell asleep before we could leave. We didn't end up going. Instead I stayed home and fixed soup and grilled cheeses for the kids.

Went on base to the commissary today to get a few groceries. My goodness we ended up spending $125 in there before we left. Guess I won't have to buy groceries for a while though.

My brother called me today to find out if it was okay if he gave the boys computers for Christmas that he had one of his junior high kids fix. That means that each boy will have their very own computer. It will be internet ready, and they will have every thing on them that they would need to do school work. I'm not going to turn those down. The boys are going to be so excited. With every thing they have gotten, they are going to be spoiled rotten. I got an email from Sears saying that I will be getting another gift card on the 15th.

My sister-in-law has started looking at houses in our neighborhood. Right now she lives halfway across the country from us, but she is wanting to move to our state. She actually looked online at 2 houses that are on the same street as ours. We shall see if she is serious or not.

Today has had its ups and downs. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm praying that it will be a great day filled with God's blessings.

Friday!!!!!

Another week is down! Another week is down!

I took SIL to the airport today for her flight home. When she was getting ready to go through security she gave me some money and told me that she was sorry that she didn't get a chance to buy me a Christmas present. It was nice, and I'm going to use my money for a massage. I can't wait. She was telling me that her and her boyfriend have been talking about moving to our state. I'm thinking that would actually be pretty nice. The kids just adore her, and she adores them.

I was thinking today when I returned home how quiet it was here without another adult to talk to. I missed the adult conversation.

BG is becoming a little hellion. I'm going to have to nip that in the bud and quickly. She has become a brat, and I will not stand for that. TB got a nice lecture today. I made him cry. I hope he understands just how disappointed I was in him and his brother. They seem to think that the world should revolve around them, and I'm tired of it. They want, want, and want some more. Nothing I ever do is good enough for them. They always think they need more. Well, that stops today. I'm not playing that game any more.

I went and got 2 more presents for BG today from Kohl's. I love Kohl's power hours plus the extra 15% off coupon. It always makes their toys cheaper than Walmart. I figure that people don't even think about that.

I didn't hear from Hubster today. I guess it is back to deployment reality for us. I hate this. I'm ready for him to be home. Hubster, I love you very much. I can't wait to see you.

I Can't Believe It is Thursday...

This week has flown by. I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday. I'm not complaining though. SIL finally got out of the hospital today. The girls and I picked her up this afternoon. She sounds 100 times better, and I'm glad that she is feeling better. She goes home tomorrow. The kids are going to miss her even though they didn't get to see too much of her. I'm really glad that she got to come and visit. I just wish she hadn't gotten sick.

I don't know what happened to me yesterday. I felt like I had been ran over by a truck though. I was throwing up, had aches and chills, and felt plain horrible. I really was just wanting to die. I hated being touched because it would send pain all over my body.

Hubster's new location doesn't allow him the same internet access that he was having. That means I don't get to see him on Skype any more. I would love to see his face. I really miss seeing him.

Put Another Day Down as Done...

Another day has bitten the dust. I had to take MIL to the airport this morning for her flight. We left the house at 645. Got her off. Got to chat online with Hubster for a few minutes, and then he called. It is always so nice to hear his voice. I miss seeing him though. My mom called me to tell me that the boys tv had fallen on KB this morning, and that he was having a hard time walking. His leg was bruised and a little swollen. I picked him up from school, and he was complaining about how bad it was hurting. I know how dramatic the child can be. I really didn't think any thing was wrong but that he had a bruise, and he was milking this for all that it was worth. He has a tendency to do that especially with his Daddy gone. I called the doctor's office hoping that they would tell me to just come in for them to look at it. They told me to take him to the ER. I really thought about just waiting it out until tomorrow, but I decided to go ahead and take him. Thankfully they got him in and out quickly. They were so nice in there. It was the second time in two days that I have been up the ER. He had his xrays, and the lady that was doing it was so funny. She was asking him if he had a girlfriend because he was going to have a gorgeous bruise. He only had a bruise, and he was feeling better this evening.

SIL is still in the hospital. We went to visit her this afternoon. She looked better, but she still doesn't sound all that great. They think she might be out Friday. I told her we would be back tomorrow to see her before we went to church. I'm not feeling all that great, but I think it has more to do with allergies than any thing else.

I can't believe tomorrow is Wednesday already. YEA! Hope the week continues to fly by as well as the month.

Happy Monday!

Just lets me know that we are at the beginning of a new week. It means another week has passed. I'm ready for this to be done.

MIL and SIL made it in on Thursday. SIL wasn't feeling well, so we stopped and got her some medicine. She went with us on Friday while we went and did a little Christmas shopping for the kids. MIL and I went to Walmart at midnight Saturday to get the Wii with the $50 gift card. We got the only one that they had. On Saturday, SIL was sick. She was running a fever, coughing, and throwing up. She stayed home while we went and did some more running around. Didn't really get very much except for a Christmas tree. We came home and my mom, MIL, and the kids put it up. I really didn't want any thing to do with it. Sunday we made it to the evening service only at church. I just didn't have the gumption to make it to Sunday morning service. Just having a rough time of it right now. Got home, and SIL asked me to take her to the ER about 10 PM. I took her while MIL stayed with the kids. She was admitted for pneumonia. No idea when she will be getting out of the hospital. MIL is scheduled to go home tomorrow. I will be making sure SIL is taken care of while MIL is home. I'm tired because I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep. I have to get up at 6 AM to take MIL to the airport in the morning. I'm ready for things to get back to normal. The kids though have enjoyed MaMaw being here. They wish that Aunt C was feeling better. She never gets sick. Aunt C was very upset with how bad that she was feeling. I'm hoping that she gets out of the hospital sooner rather than later.

I'm ready for 2009 to be over. I'm looking forward to 2010 and having Hubster home. Not much longer hopefully. Not much longer.

They Have Arrived...

The inlaws that is. It was great. I went and picked up MIL from the airport at 1115, and then we stopped and got some lunch. I had to take KG to the doctor. She kept complaining that her ear was hurting. She has an ear infection. Then we went to get the boys from school. When KB saw his grandma, he dropped his bag and ran to her. TB is way to cool to show emotion now, but I saw him smile when he saw her. After we got everybody loaded up in the car, we went to the airport for part 2 of the surprise. We told the boys that Grandma was expecting a package. When we saw Aunt C, KB was so happy. He said that he loved his surprises. The girls have really warmed up to them both. I think this is going to be a really nice weekend.

Grandma fixed meatballs and spaghetti per TB's request that Grandma cook. She got a kick out of that. The woman can flat out cook. It was so good.

Talked to Hubster today on the phone for a bit. I'm really worried about him. I hate the extra worry, but I'm still very unsettled. I feel like I'm waiting for another shoe to drop. I wish he could talk to me, but he can't. He can't tell me what is going on, but I can tell that something is wrong. I hate this. Now, on top of worrying about his safety, I have to worry about him. It would be so much easier if I didn't love the man to distraction. :)

One More Day...

Until the in laws get here. I'm excited about this. The boys know they have a surprise tomorrow, but no idea what the surprise is. They also know that they are going to be picked up early from school. This should be fun.

Hubster sent me my anniversary present today. I love it. I'm going to have to get it framed. The note that he sent with it was so sweet. I really do love that man. Our anniversary isn't until the 19th either. He did a good job.

KG got in trouble today, and I told her that she needed to go to bed. She went and got the kitten and they fell asleep together. It was so cute. TB is passing every thing this quarter so far. I'm proud of him.

Haven't gotten to talk to Hubster in a while. I missed his phone call today. I have gotten so used to him not calling, that I don't take it with me. It makes me sad when I miss his phone calls. I hope he gets to feeling better from his root canal. He said that his mouth was hurting today, and he got sick from something he ate.

My headlight went out in the van. That is going to cost around $30 to replace. Just what I didn't need another bill. UGH! At least that one isn't a freaking arm and a freaking leg.

Tuesday Bluesday

Today was Seabee Wife Day out. I took the girl's to the sitters for the day, and then I went to do some Christmas shopping. I was having the hardest time buying any thing. I would think about buying this or that for the kids, and then I would think I need to talk to Hubster about it. Then realize that Hubster isn't here to talk to about it. I did finally end up with getting 2 of the boys big presents out of the way. They both got Ipod Nano's with all the little fixings to go with it. TB got a blue one, and KB got a purple one. Now, I just need to get them their Santa gifts. I also got the girls each a doll from Kohl's. I'm going to wait until the inlaws get here to do some more shopping.

I was at lunch today, and I was trying my best not to cry. It was just over whelming. I'm ready for this deployment to be over. I feel alone, and I have been so unsettled lately. I don't know what to make of it. I think it all stems back to the incident email. Ever since then, I just haven't been able to sleep. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm thankful for each day that is another day down without anything happening.

The End of Another Month...

I realized today that Hubster has been gone for nearly 6 months. That seems like such a long time to be away from home. It is a long time to be away from home. I miss him terribly. I miss cuddling up to him. I miss the smell of him. I just flat out miss him.

He has to have a root canal tomorrow. That sounds like loads of fun to me. I hope it all goes well tomorrow.

The boys gave me their Christmas lists. I'm going to research to see where I can find the best buys tomorrow. I would like to get as much done as possible. I've got some of the girl's shopping done. That is what I have on the agenda for Seabee Wife Day Out tomorrow. I changed my days from Monday to Tuesday for the month of December. It seems that every Monday that I have something going on that includes the girls, so I changed it to Tuesday.

Getting ready for the inlaws visit that starts on Thursday. I can't wait to see their faces.

I'm very tired tonight. I'm going to go and veg out on my bed and do my research. Ready to get through Christmas. Then hopefully we will be on the down hill swing.

Also found out last night and today that the email that I sent out requesting help was never received. No wonder people didn't reply. Nobody knew about it. That made me feel better. I have resent out the requests. Let me see if something comes from this.

Finally Done...

Hubster climbed a mountain today. He said that the guys told them to go change clothes and come on. He looks so good. I miss him.

We have finally finished moving. We have gotten all of our things out of the house. All I have left to do over there is to drop off my keys and garage door openers. The carpet guys are coming on Monday to clean the carpets, and then I'm done. WOOOO HOOOO! I hate moving. I told Hubster that I wasn't moving again until he got home. He has missed the fun two times now.

I have no idea what is wrong with BG, but she has been a bear the last couple of days. She is not her usual happy self. She is cranky. Her nose is awful. If she still feels bad on Monday, she is going to the doctor. I can't have her sick next week. KG was so happy when her cottage and kitchen showed up in her room. She is actually sleeping in her cottage right now.

Happy Turkey Day!

I hope that everybody had a Happy Turkey Day! We have made it through our first major holiday. We made it through in one piece. We didn't really even do very much except go to my house and pack every single thing up. Every thing is now in one room plus the garage in piles.

I got to talk to Hubster on the phone. It is always so nice to hear his voice. I miss him so much. I just want him home. The kids are missing him.

The Day Before Thanksgiving

Today I received flowers from Hubster for Thanksgiving. The vase was so pretty. The flowers I hope will bloom tomorrow.

I baked 4 pies today. Then I went and packed up all but 3 rooms of my house. I moved the boxes to one room. That way it will be easy to move them come Thursday or Friday.

I saw Hubster on Skype today. He told me I looked miserable, and that I didn't look happy. I wonder why. He is half a world away. Something happened with the leadership that irritated me to no end. He knows what it is because I talked to him about it. I let him know my feelings on the subject. I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to shut myself off emotionally from EVERYBODY. I have to catch myself sometimes shutting out Hubster to avoid any emotion at all. This week has been hard on me.

My Bubble was Burst...

The XO sent out an email about an incident involving 3 of our Seabees. It made me ill reading it. Up until now, I have been able to put them in a safe place. That all came crashing down. It doesn't matter where they are at, not a one of them are really safe. Any thing can happen at any time. I was just trying to put this bubble around them. That bubble was burst. Thank God the 3 are fine. They are waiting to recover full enough to go back.

In other news, I got my first gift card from Sears today for their Hero's at Home. I figured that the amount would be small if I even got one. It was for $100. I was happy with that. I couldn't believe it, and then I got another email from them telling me that I should be receiving another gift card around the 21st of December. The amount will depend on how much money is donated to the fund by Sears shoppers. It was a wonderful surprise. I'm glad that I stumbled across the program before it was too late.

I'm Wondering if this is going to be a Two Fer Day...

But I desperately need to find my happy place. I'm irritated. I'm angry, and I'm fed up. I'm wondering if I blog about it if it will make it better. It certainly can't hurt because the anger is eating at me.

I'm at the point where I'm not asking for any more help. I've asked for help 2 times and now 3. Not once has any body helped except my sweet aunt. She is going to come and stay with me the day after surgery. I'm fed up. I don't ask for help hardly ever, and I won't be again. I would rather rely on myself than on any body or any thing.

I'm tired of feeling like I am the only one whose life is on freaking hold. Then to not know what is going to happen when Hubster gets home is driving me insane. I want answers. I want to have some clue as to what I need to do. What plans I can make.

I'm tired of being disappointed in people. I'm still having issues with the disappointment in people at church. I'm back to that place where I don't want to go. I don't want any thing to do with our Sunday school class. How sad is that? Satan is hammering at me again.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm one of an unique group of people whose lives are effected by these wars. Unless you have a family member over there, it doesn't even effect you. You just go on with your lives like every thing is the same. There is no sacrifice on the parts of the American people. The only people right now who are sacrificing anything at all is the soldiers, sailors, and their families. Everybody else doesn't have a freaking clue. (Well, maybe they kind of have a clue, but I'm just angry right now.) What has anybody given up besides the military families? I would love for somebody to tell me. Have you given up a holiday with your loved one, or two, or three, or even 20? Do you have any idea how hard it is to plaster a smile on your face when what you really want to do is crawl into a hole? We aren't even at the halfway point unless you count the training, and then we are just now there.

I will probably have somebody read this and tell me that I need to take it down. The thing is that I do feel some what better. I'm still angry, but at least I don't feel like I'm going to explode at the next person who dares ask me if I need any thing.

Monday, Oh Monday...

Let me count the ways I love you. The only thing I can think of is Seabee Wife Day, and today it wasn't even that. I still took the girl's to the sitter, but I took the boys to see Planet 51. It was a cute movie. We were going to go and see Blind Side, but KB was late getting back from the football stadium. That caused us to miss the showing of Blind Side.

Hubster finished up the kid's Christmas shopping from him today. I'm sure all of the kids will love their gifts from Daddy. He gave me a list of things that he is wanting. He is actually usually very easy to shop for.

I'm getting through my days. I can't believe this week is Thanksgiving. I've got to start my grocery list for tomorrow. I'm going to brave the commissary. That sounds like so much fun, but I the prices are cheaper up there. I figure it will be busy any where we go.

I got some Christmas shopping done...

Actually feel like I accomplished things today. Hubster ordered the girl's Christmas presents, and then I was online at JC Penny, I found the girl's Santa gifts for half the price I was expecting to pay. I also found KG's Christmas dress on sale. I was so excited. I got that ordered. Ordered two books for my brother online to be sent to him. Got to chat with Hubster today online while we were figuring out what to get the girls.

Church was good. We had our Thanksgiving banquet tonight. I couldn't tell you what the guest preacher talked about. We were to busy entertaining the girls. They were bored, and they wanted to play. I can't imagine why. *insert eye roll*

KB goes the the football stadium tomorrow, and TB and I are going to go see a movie. That is what he wanted to do. He wants to go to a theater that he gets to eat lunch at while watching the movie. He gets to choose, and that was his choice. I think we are seeing Planet 51.

Saturday...

The day before Sunday. The day before the most dreaded day of my week. What did we do today? I got 1 Christmas present for KG. A sparkly purse, that she was wanting while we were at JC Penny. I also got the girls a couple of out fits a piece. Then I came home and cooked for my company. One of the ladies from Sunday school came over to have supper with us. She seems to be very nice. I took a sleeping pill tonight, so I'm very tired. I'm fixing to head to bed.

I was talking with Hubster today, and I had to go. I hate having to say goodbye when he has a chance to talk. It always makes me feel so bad. I love you, Babe. I miss you. I hope that you had a good nights sleep.

It is 1 AM on Saturday...

but this is really Friday's post. I don't want to be accused of missing a day. We just got home from the football game. Our team lost, so they are now done until next year. It was a great run while it lasted.

I need to get KG into either dance or gymnastics. She loves to boogie, and she catches on so very fast. She was imitating the drill team and cheerleaders. BG was hilarious today. She has such attitude. She was banging a lid on the floor, and KG was yelling at her to stop. She looked straight at KG, said no, and then banged the lid louder.

The boys had MD Day at school. MD is a little girl that is 5. She had stomach cancer last year. She was in remission, and they found out about a month ago that the cancer that they thought was gone has now invaded her entire body. Today was a day to celebrate her. It breaks my heart. Her prognosis is dire. I do know though who can take away every bit of her cancer. God can do all things. I can't comprehend why a little 5 year old girl has to have this horrible disease. It breaks my heart because I know that can be one of my kids.

The boys are doing good. TB failed a vocab test. He did get 2 answers right on the whole test. He decided to put one word in every single blank. Guess that word was right 2 times. His teacher is going to give him a passing grade, but he has to write his vocab words 5 times each. The boys got out for Thanksgiving break this week. KB gets to go to the local NFL teams football stadium and play on the field on Monday thanks to his football coach's connections. That should be exciting. He is looking forward to it.

Today was rough for me. I'm on edge, and I'm dreading next week with a passion. I really hate this. I guess it would be a bad thing if I loved it though. I need to find out how many dozens of cookies I need for our Christmas party. I'm going to be having surgery on the 17th, and our party is on the 19th. I didn't plan on the surgery being at that time, or I wouldn't have volunteered. Instead, I think I will call a local bakery and see if they will bake the cookies for me. I just need to find out how many dozens I need. I doubt I will feel like making them on the 18th.

Love you Hubster. Hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for trying to make me feel better.

It is Thursday...

How is that for a title? Couldn't think of any thing. Let's see what did we do today.

I went to Sam's and Kroger. Then went to Old Navy because TB needed a pair of black pants and a white pullover for his band concert tonight. They were having an extra 50% off their clearance. I got TB 10 shirts. The most I spent on them was $3. I got the girls some clothes, and poor KB only ended up with one shirt. They didn't have any thing in his size that I liked. Tonight was TB's band concert. They have only been playing for 4 weeks, and I was pleasantly surprised about how well they did. The entire Fall Showcase ended up being better than I was expecting. I actually enjoyed it except for the rude people behind me that talked the entire time. My 1 and 2 year old behaved better than them. How rude and inconsiderate of them. If you want to to chat with your neighbor, get your butt up and go outside. What a wonderful thing to show our kids. Let's show them how inconsiderate you are. UGH!

We are going to another football game tomorrow night. I was noticing that it was calling for rain. Uh oh. Guess I need to make sure the umbrellas are packed up.

Didn't really get to chat very much with Hubster. He did find out that he got a passed not advanced yet again. I guess that cemented what he wants to do. Things happen for a reason, and I know that if he would have been advanced, that he wouldn't be doing what he really wants to do. I support him in whatever decision he makes. I love the crazy man. I miss him like crazy too.

What a Day...

Let's see what didn't go wrong today. I haven't been able to find my house keys for a few days. This is the old house. My landlord is coming to inspect the house tomorrow at 2. I was going to go and clean today. I start hunting for my garage door opener, and I can't find that either. My brother calls me tonight to tell me that he has my opener. I will see him on Wednesday, so I will get it back then. The only thing is that my house is a disaster. It needs to be packed and cleaned. UGH!

Second, the marshal from the town I used to live in pulled into our drive way. It seems that while I was in the hospital having BG, that the city came out and mowed our yard. This was in 2008. This was Hubster's job to take care of the yard. As you can see, I was slightly pregnant. I never received a bill for it, or I would have paid it. He was informing me that I had a warrant out for my arrest because of not mowing my lawn. He was nice enough to tell me that I could pay the $225 fine right now, and I wouldn't be arrested. Geesh, just what I wanted to do. Thankfully I had the money. I paid my fine. Then I go to look at my bank account to see that they took it out 2 times. Just one more thing to pile on. At this point, all I could do was cry. What else in the world can possibly go wrong?

The kids are doing good. KG is getting so independent. I can't believe how independent she is getting. She dressed herself today. She put her shirt on inside out, but that is okay. She wouldn't let me change her. There are some things that just aren't worth the fight. Plus it fosters her independence. BG is a riot with her attitude. I love it. I got tickled today at BG and KG. BG was picking on KG, and KG just hauled off and hit her. I laughed in the other room. BG just hollered at her to stop. The boys are doing fine. TB has his first band recital tomorrow. I'm going to buy myself some ear plugs. Oh, how I love my children.

Church was good tonight. You could feel the sadness in the air with all of the deaths that the church has been experiencing over the last few months. He announced the line up for our revival at the end of December. I love all the guys preaching that I know. Plus one of the guys that usually only preaches once is going to preach twice. I can't wait to hear him. Then Anthony Evans is coming to sing in December also. He is absolutely amazing. November and December should be good.

The Long Day...

Is this day ever going to end? I mean really. Is it ever going to end?

The kids are all doing good. TB is a pain when it comes to doing his homework, BUT he brought home a progress report today. He is PASSING all of his subjects. We are very proud.

I got a few more boxes unpacked today. Tomorrow I'm going to my house to pack and move some things. I probably can't go until after lunch though. The cable people are coming to install the internet and cable. Looking forward to having wireless, so that I can sit on my bed and do this.

I got to talk to Hubster today via Skype. I should say I got to see him. I couldn't find my microphone, so we typed. He wanted to see my hair. He liked it. He was glad that I didn't cut it a lot, and he even liked the color. He is looking good. He is losing weight, and you can tell it. I can't believe how different he looks.

My MIL sent me her flight schedule today. I can't wait for the kids to see their surprise. They are going to be so excited that Grandma and Aunt Candy are coming for a visit.

Today though has been rough, and I can't put my finger on why. I cried when I saw Hubster on Skype. He asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't even tell him why because I wasn't sure. I can feel myself pulling away again too. I have no desire to really talk to any body. I can feel the disappointment I have in people.

Tomorrow is the funeral of a church member who has 4 kids, and he was only 42. That is so sad. They don't know why he passed away. My heart breaks for J and her family. I've been praying for peace and comfort since we found out on Saturday.

Seabee Wife Day Out...

What did she do today? She did this...

I went from blond to red. I love it. Hubster hasn't seen a picture of it yet. I hope he likes it. The stylist also dyed my eyebrows to match. My mom noticed that first off. My eyebrows are usually blond and very light. I noticed that it made my eyes really stand out.

KB finally passed a spelling test. It had been a while. The boys are doing good. The girls are loving the house. BG finally figured out how to go up and down the stairs. Every body seems to be trudging along. My mom volunteered to take Wednesday off to help me pack up my house. I'm hoping to get every thing moved soon. I just want it done.

Nothing else much going on. We are just putting one foot in front of the other. Missing Hubster. Wishing he was home. Actually looking forward to the holidays.

Hubster, I love you Babe.

The Long Weekend...

Just glad that it is about over. I haven't had an internet connection, so I haven't posted. Tonight is going to be catch up.

Friday was playoff football for us. We went to watch our old high school team play Friday night. We won 35 to 21. They play again at the same place on Friday. We are planning on going again. I can't wait. We made it home about midnight. We found out that my nephew's fiancee is pregnant. The baby should be due sometimes in May. He is very happy. He should make a great daddy. I wasn't shocked at all. My mom cried when she found out that she was going to be a great-grandma. She was okay with it though. I don't think any body was especially surprised by this.

Saturday was moving day and football day for KB and me. We started moving about 8 that morning. KB, the girls, and I left at 10 AM for KB's football game. They lost the first game, but they won the second. That meant that we would be playing again on Sunday. We got home about 6 PM. They had moved my parent's house, but my house isn't done. The kids all love the house. That is good. The boys stay upstairs almost all of the time. KG loves it too. She was telling her Uncle L yesterday that he was a stinker and a toot. Then she hollers at him that she loves him. He thinks she is the cutest and sweetest thing. She is something else.

Today was KB's final football game. They ended up placing third. He was very quiet on the way home. We got a lot of things unpacked. I still have a lot to do. I'm happy though that things are getting done that need to be done. I just need to get my house taken care of. I think I will do a room each day until it is completely taken care of. I'm sure that I will get it all done in no time at all. Other than that, there isn't much going on. We have been busy trying to get moved and sports.

I'm Tired Tonight

This is going to be short and sweet. I'm tired. I hate moving. I despise moving. I really, really hate it. I'm ready to be done.

The kids are all doing good. I'm okay.

See, I told you this was short. I'm now going to bed. There is nothing to report from this end. Hubster knows I love him and miss him. We had a nice chat online today. Plus KG is still awake, and it is 11. She is tired. I need to get her in bed. I hope every one has a wonderful night.

Another Day. Another Dollar...

KG put on lipstick today. I told Hubster that it looked like she had a busted lip. She is so girlie. She also brought me some fingernail polish . She wanted her toes painted.

KB's class made Veteran's Day cards today for Hubster and me. Mainly they were for me, but I plan on sending them to Hubster. Some of them made me laugh, and some of them made me tear up. I'm going to have to do something special for his class. That was very sweet of them. I really enjoyed them.

TB went home with a friend of his after school. He was so excited. He had fun, and then he went to church with his friend. Glad that I am not the only one that thinks that church is important.

We are just about ready to move. We are moving every thing out into the garage tomorrow, so that way the carpet cleaners can come and clean the carpet Friday morning. My house isn't ready at all, but that is okay. I 'm thinking it really won't take all that long.

Got to chat online with Hubster for a few hours today. That was nice. He is doing good, but he was telling me that where he is at that they have a real bad problem with wild dogs. He was actually chased by a pack of them while he was driving a four wheeler to where he was working. I told him that was my worst nightmare. I don't like big dogs, and I would have probably screamed like a girl. Hubster was also saying that he found the prettiest rug that he would love to send home, but again, there is not any way for him to send things home to us. Maybe he can eventually figure out a way to get some things while he is at the market. He is pretty resourceful and smart. We were talking today about what he wants to do when he grows up. I'm hoping that eventually he will figure it out.

Church tonight was good. We had a special missionary that came in to show us what they are doing in the Ukraine. Hubster and I have talked before about how that we some times feel called to be missionaries, but that is a huge step. Every time I hear a missionary speak, I get that feeling that this is what we are supposed to be doing. I don't know. We really both felt a pull to Africa. I guess we really need to pray about it to see what God is wanting us to do. It is hard to let that control go, but I still think that this might be what we are supposed to do.

My friend that I posted about yesterday was released from the hospital with specific instructions that she was not to go to the hospital for 48 hours. Her little boy was doing better today. He was doing well enough that they were thinking he could be taken off the ventilator, and he might be moved to a regular room. Thank you God for those answered prayers. It was very touch and go there for a while.

Not much else going on. I'm trying to get things lined up for my surgery. I like to have all of my ducks in a row well in advance.

What a Day...

I have a friend whose 4 year old little boy is in the hospital due to complications of H1N1. He has a chest tube and is on a ventilator. My heart breaks for her. She has endured so much this year. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and now K is in the hospital herself with pneumonia. Her husband was killed in Iraq by an IED before E was born. She has endured so much. I just want to go and hug her and let her know that she isn't alone. God is in control of this, and I have faith that he will heal all 3 of them. He has already touched her mom's body by removing all of the masses and tumors from her body. He can certainly reach down and heal K and E.

We pretty much have my parent's house packed. I do have to pack up the room that I have been staying in. We have to move every thing into the garage. They are coming to clean the carpets on Friday at 1030, and then I will probably spend the rest of Friday at my house getting things done over there. I'm hoping that we will get that place packed and moved this weekend. I'm ready to be done. I hate moving, and I hate the fact that I'm going to have to do this again in March.

The kids are all fine. KG was standing at the computer today hollering Daddy at it. I guess she thought that would make him appear. She did finally get to see him. He called on Skype just so the girls could see him. The boys don't get to see him very often. There schedules are just totally opposite of his. He upset me a little today with something he did. I don't think he even realizes what he did, but if he would think about it, I think he could figure it out. Needless to say, my feelings were hurt.

I'm getting ready to go to bed. I took one of my depression meds because I could feel that creeping up on me. It knocks me out, and I'm pretty tired. I'm hoping to get lots done tomorrow. Maybe just maybe, we will actually be done with the move soon.

Don't Do It....

Don't go and see Men Who Stare at Goats. It was horrible. It wasn't funny. It portrayed American's and the US military as stupid blood thirsty people. I got up and left the movie early because I was disgusted with the whole thing. I should have asked for my money back.

The girls had a great time at Mrs. H's today. BG cried when I dropped her off, but when I picked her up today, she was laughing. I could hear her playing and jabbering to the other kids. The boys are doing okay. Still struggling with spelling. This is the last week of football for KB. Then we are free until January of sports. I'm looking forward to the break.

I found out today when my surgery will be. Looks like it is going to be a fun Christmas. I have a pre-op appointment on the 15th of December, and then the surgery is going to be December 17. It is supposed to be an in and out, and I will be home on the same day. That is a busy weekend for me though, and I'm hoping that I can pull every thing together that I need to. I have lots going on that weekend.

Not a very interesting day,

so I don't have much to say. We got up and went to Sunday School and church this morning. Then came home for a few hours and went to church this evening. Nothing of excitement happened. It was my regular Sunday. I'm not a fan of Sunday's right now except for the fact that they mean that we have finished another week.

Tomorrow is my Seabee Wife Day Out. No idea what I'm going to do. I'm thinking about going to see Men Who Stare at Goats, but I'm not sure yet. I will make a decision tomorrow I guess.

We did find out today that KB's team is doing the tournament instead of the playoffs, so that means that next weekend should be full of football. UGH! Next weekend is moving weekend. I'm just going to have to give everybody marching orders of what needs to go and what needs to go to storage. KB's first football game is at noon, so he will have to be there at 11. That means we have to leave at 1015. They are seated number 1.

Hubster, I love you. I miss you. I really do wish I could book an airline ticket to come and see you.

Saturday...What a fun day.

Really not much happened. KB had a football game. They lost 36 to 0, but the good thing was that the team scored all of their points in the first half. They looked like a totally different team during the second half. The girls had a ball playing while he was playing football. TB cracks us up because he is a mother hen watching over the girls. He can't hardly stand it.

The boys had a good time last night at the lock in at church. They had about 4 hours of sleep, so they are exhausted. As a matter of fact, it is 945 PM here, and all of my kids are asleep. I am fixing to head to bed myself. I am sleepy. Tomorrow is church day, and I'm hoping to make it to Sunday school and church. We are also hoping that we can start moving tomorrow too. I would like to at least get all of my beds over to the new house. I'm looking forward to the move. I think I'm going to enjoy having the entire upstairs to my family. I also plan on having the kids in bed by 830 for the girls and 9 for the boys. My parents told me that if I could get at least the girls in bed, that they would watch the kids while I ran to the gym. I really want to work out. I think I would feel a 100 times better. Hubster said that his 34 pants are starting to get too big for him. He had only lost 2 pounds, but he said that he is noticing a difference in his waist.

Hubster was also telling me that a local offered him 20 sheep and one of his sons as a trade for one of our girls. The local doesn't have any girls, and he was wanting a daughter. I find it humorous. All you ever hear about is the bad things going on. He seems to be enjoying his experience as much as you can when you are away from home. He has gotten to experience things that few Americans will ever get the chance or honor to experience.

I miss Hubster, and I dread tomorrow. I know that tomorrow is my hard day of the week. I'm just praying that it will fly by, since I am going to be so busy.

It is Still Friday,,,

I got home about 20 minutes ago from a GNO. We went and saw The Fourth Kind. It wasn't scary, but there were parts that it would make you jump. The movie had real live footage of things that can't be "explained". I thought it was a little way out there, and that the woman that was the psychiatrist was nuttier than a fruitcake. The movie was just strange. When Hubster gets home, we will have to go on a date to Studio Movie Grill. That was fun. I enjoyed that. The wives I went with are also a tad nuts, but they were a riot.

The boys are at church tonight for a lock in, and the girls went with Grandma and Grandpa to see Uncle G and Aunt Margie. Mom said the girls were wonderful and so well behaved. That was nice. I got home, and they were asleep. Which is where I am fixing to head.

Other than that, not much going on around here. We have a full day tomorrow. Hopefully I will get a chance to talk or chat with Hubster tomorrow.

Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting some More.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and now I am waiting for them to call me back with the surgery date. I am hoping it is sooner rather than later.

Yesterday was a fun day. I took the girls to the zoo with another Seabee wife and her little boy. KG loved the monkeys. We spent an hour watching the monkeys. She loved them. The day was beautiful, and it wasn't crowded. KG told me she wanted to ride the carousel, but as soon as I paid for it and put her on the horse she cried. That was a waste of money. We did ride the train that is in the zoo. I think I am going to buy a season pass with the next paycheck. It was a lot of fun, and I wouldn't mind taking the girls every week just to get us out of the house.

KB hurt his elbow because another little kid pushed him into the wall. The other kid was suspended. It was one of his "friends". The kid is a brat.

What happened in Ft. Hood yesterday, made my stomach turn. It makes me sick. Lot of prayers going out to the men and women at Ft. Hood.

Post in the Middle of the Day

But I need it. Today has just been. It hasn't been bad. It hasn't been good. It has just been. How else do you describe it? I'm on the verge of tears. I just want to be moved, and it seems that every thing that I do isn't good enough.

I'm down on myself because I had gained a pound. I am down on myself because I feel like I'm a terrible mom. The boys are struggling in school. The girls are into everything. I can't get any thing done that I need to. I have been trying to pack, and the girls are emptying the boxes as fast as i am putting things in them. The stress of this move is going to do me in.

Hubster is staying at his location. I am very happy about that. The only thing is that they don't have a post office or PX. I know this sounds weird, but when I hear other wives talking about getting letters and cards and things sent to them, it makes me sad. I know that I won't get any thing like that. I will never receive an envelope with the word free in the place of the stamp. It isn't his fault, and I will never ever blame him for it. It is just one of those irrational things that I have no control over that makes me sad. I enjoyed getting things from him during the last deployment. He would send me letters in blue envelopes. You have no idea how wonderful those letters are to receive. It was always fun going to the mailbox every day hoping to see a blue envelope or a box at the front door waiting for me. I should be happy that I get to chat online with him almost every single day. I should be happy that I get to see him via Skype once or twice a week. I just need to have myself a very short pity party, and then get over it.

Hubster, I know you read this, and please understand that this has nothing what so ever to do with you. It is the situation. You are absolutely amazing, and I wouldn't trade the world for you. Now, you know you can still send me letters via email. That is always a nice surprise to get. I love your emails. Hugs and kisses, and I miss you bunches.

Running a Day Behind

on my posts, but I have been so busy that I just don't even want to bother with this at night. I just want to go to bed. It has been a blah kind of week. I don't know what is going on, but it has just been blah. Nothing that I can really point to. We finished another month. Plus the month seemed to fly by. I have been able to chat online with Hubster every day. I just can't put my finger on it. I just know that I have been blah. Another Seabee Wife said yesterday that she needed a hug, and I will have to agree. I think that would do wonders. I just want to sit down and cry, but I don't feel that I have that right.

I haven't gotten a thing done as far as packing. I need to see if I can find some moving boxes. I wish that I could start moving some of the things now to the new place, but I have to wait. I would love to go ahead and move some of the things that are for sure going with me. It isn't like I am living in my house right now any way.

I went to the doctor yesterday. Still trying to get the surgery set up. I took the girls with me, and of all days that she had to deliver a baby, it was yesterday. I was chasing the girls all over the place. Needless to say my BP was a tad higher than she wanted, so I get to go back on Friday. I'm going to see if I can find somebody to watch them for me while I go. Plus she gave me another prescription. This is the reason I need to lose weight. I am the world's worst patient when it comes to taking meds. I forget them all the time.

TB's teacher had a talk with the principal. She just doesn't know what to do with him. He doesn't act like he cares at all any more. I don't know what to do make him understand how important that it is for him to do good in school. I can ground him and talk to him till I'm blue in the face, and nothing seems to work. I am at a loss. Plus he keeps telling me he is fat. Where he has heard that, I don't know. It makes me feel bad. He isn't fat. Yes, I watch what they eat. I don't want them to be fat like me. Did I do something to have that rub off on him? Maybe I really am the worst parent ever.

KB had 2 hours of football practice last night. One of his coaches that had walked away from the team came back. Maybe they still have a chance to grow up. I have just never understood why adults act that way at kids sporting events. KB is still struggling in school too. Plus him and his brother are fighting like crazy. I am really tired of it.

The girls are doing great. I was looking at pictures of them from last October, and I couldn't believe how much that they have changed in a year. It made me sad, but not sad enough to have another kid. I really am done. I feel done. No way do I want another kid.

This is Monday's post. Yes, I know it is Tuesday.

I really don't give a flying fig about that. Yesterday was Seabee Wife Day instead of calling it Mother's Day Out, that is what I have named it. It is usually a glorious day. I find myself 5 hours kid free. This week was different. I have figured out that I enjoy hanging out with other adults. I was lonely yesterday. I was lonely all day long, and it was even worse Monday night.

The day started off with me dropping off the girls at Ms. H's house. KG was hollering that she wanted out as soon as she saw whose house we were at. She wanted to go play. BG cried for all of 5 minutes, and then she played. I then ran to Target where I was trying to get ideas for Christmas. I decided to get a card to send to Hubster. I was crying while i was reading them. The lady that was stocking the cards kept looking at me funny. After I was done in Target, I went and had lunch at Don Pablo's. The fajitas were yummy. The highlight of my day was going grocery shopping at the commissary. That was fun, but at least now my kids won't starve to death. That plus I don't have to eat out as much. That cost way to much money. The girls were happy to see me when I picked them up.

KB didn't have football practice last night. They forgot about how dark it gets so early. He gets to have a 2 hour practice tonight. Oh joy. KB also had to have new shoes because his busted. TB has been telling me for weeks that he needs new shoes, so I told him to keep his shoe price under $40. He didn't want to listen, and he told me all of the shoes are ugly that are under $40. Guess who doesn't have a new pair of shoes. Totally lost it with him on the way home. He just hasn't learned about the filter between his brain and his mouth. I'm tired of the attitude and him telling me that he NEVER gets any thing. We are now going to go and volunteer some where, so that he can see just exactly how well he does have it. KB did end up with a new pair of shoes, and they were on sale for half price. TB is going to learn that when I say you have this amount to spend, that is what I mean.

Yesterday was rough for me. I don't know if it was something in the air or what the deal was. I was just very sad. I was also very lonely. I don't care how many people you are surrounded by, when the person that you love the most isn't here with you, then you are lonely. It seems to have been a common theme yesterday among the Seabee wives. I had quite a few tell me the exact same thing. I was trying to find a card to send to Hubster, and I was crying reading them. Because i wasn't at home most of the day, Hubster called me on my cell. Except that where he was at, they were having a hail storm. He couldn't hear, so he had to go. Then when he called back, I was checking out at the commissary. I had to go, and he never got a chance to call back.

I have an appointment today with the OB/GYN. Hoping that this means that we can finally get a surgery date set. Praying that the BP is okay. Plus my appointment is at noon. I hope the girls behave themselves. They are going with me. Otherwise I guess I need to go to my primary to see if there is something else that will work.

Another Month Down.

It seems like the month of October flew by. I really can't believe that it is over. I'm hoping that the rest of the time is going to be the same way. I really do.

Not much happened on Sunday except that I was informed that we will be moving on the 7th instead of the 14th. Wasn't expecting that. This means that I'm going to get to have lots of fun trying to get things packed. Thankfully I don't have to be out of my house until the 30th, so I can take my time doing that house.

The kids are doing good. Nothing exciting happened yesterday at all. It was a very ho hum kind of day. Went to Sunday school and to evening service. Didn't really talk to any body. I was a few minutes late walking into Sunday school, and somebody handed me a piece of paper and told me to fill it out with my name and phone number on it. I had no idea what I was signing up for. It is a way for our Sunday school class to get to know each other better, so I am now supposed to meet another couple for dinner or something before Dec. 6. I already feel a little awkward going to Sunday school when the other half of our couple is in the Middle East. Oh well, the couple that I got are new to the area, and he retired from the Marine corp. What are the odds?

Today is Monica's Day Out. Isn't my name of my day catchy? I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't have any body to meet. I think I like having somebody to meet better. I'm starting back on my diet today. I plan on being serious about it. I'm also going to start back to the gym. I have to do something. I don't like this blob that I have become. It is disheartening.

Happy Halloween!

KB's football team won their second football game today. They won 42 to 0. The thing was that their head coach and one of the assistant coaches stepped down due to conflicts between the coaches. It seems that 4 men can't behave themselves in a civilised manner. This win means that KB will be going to the playoffs, so instead of 1 more week of football, we have 2 at least. They have improved each week. You can really tell a difference in the way they play.

I took the kids trick or treating. KG was a lion. BG was a tiger. KB was a ninja, and I have no idea what TB was. I think he just wanted candy. KG hated trick or treating the first couple of times. TB griped because he wanted to go ToT with his friends. I was on my way home because KG was screaming and crying, so I told TB that he could go ahead and go with his friends. KB said that he wanted to go home. We decided though that we would ToT on the way home. KG really got into it. We ended up staying out later than TB. KG though said the bucket of candy was hers. She won't share. That isn't shocking at all.

I had stopped at Kohl's today to get the boys one of their Christmas presents. They decided to go through the basket to hunt for something. I made them put the presents up. I know they would have enjoyed the remote control helicopters.

Other than that, today has been very uneventful. I really missed Hubster tonight. It just isn't the same with him gone. I'm tired tonight, and I'm fixing to head to bed.

What a Football Game!

I don't have much of a voice this morning because I yelled a LOT last night. It was a GREAT game. Our team won 17 to 14. They clinched a playoff berth for the first time since 2003. The game started with both teams scoring touchdowns on their first drives. Then SS went on to score a field goal to take a 10 to 7 lead. With 5 minutes left in the first half, the other tear went ahead 14 to 10. With time running out the Indians (the other team) made it down to the 1 yard line, but time had expired in the half. The Indians went into half time leading14 to 10. We got the opening kick off, and SS marched it down the field for a 17 to 14 lead. It was a game of defense from that point on. With 5 minutes left in the game, the Indians turned the ball over on downs. SS was marching down the field, and there was only 20 seconds left in the game. SS had 4th down at the Indians 8, when we fumbled the ball. Their player picked up the ball and ran it back to SS's 30 yard line. They had 4 chances to get into the end zone, but our defense held them. We won 17 to 14. It was exciting. It was a great game. SS guaranteed themselves a playoff spot for the first time since 2003. I'm hoping that the first playoff game isn't so far away that I can't go. Oh please don't be. Oh please don't be.

In other news, the girls got themselves 2 pairs of shoes each and 3 outfits yesterday. They had to have new dress shoes for church, and KG has outgrown everything. I can't believe how big my little girl is getting. The boys are doing good. They are both ungrounded until I hear about this weeks test scores. We found out that we are going to be moving on November 21. I'm not looking forward to that. My parents are moving on the 14th, and then we are moving on the 21st. My parents are buying a 2 story 4 bedroom house, so we are going to move in with them until March. That will give me some time to really save some money. That way we can move into a bigger house. We pretty much stay here now any way. I've already disconnected everything at our house but electric and water. I gave our notice to our landlord. I really wish he had a little bit bigger house in the area. He is so nice, and I really enjoy dealing with him. If anybody wants to come help us move, you are more than welcome too. We could use all the help we can get.

KB is either going to be in the playoffs come November 14, or he will be in a weekend tournament on the 14th. We are not sure which yet. We should know more at the end of today. He has a football game at 3. I can't wait to see him play. I'm hoping that they will get another win.

I got to talk to Hubster yesterday for 40 minutes on the phone. It was so nice to hear his voice. I love you Hubster. I miss you!

I Get the Worst Parent Ever Award

I'm going to win the award for it today. I accidentally locked KG in my van. When I pull the van into the garage, I always open the sun roof and roll down the windows. I leave my keys in the console. That way the kids don't go running off with them. It was a little chilly outside, so I cracked open the sunroof about 8 inches. I threw the keys into the console. When I got out of the van, I hit the lock button with my elbow. Then I shut the door. As soon as I shut the door, I knew exactly what I had done. KG just laughed for the first 10 minutes as we tried to get it unlocked. Then she started screaming. I remembered that my car insurance had road side assistance, so I gave them a call. They told me it was going to be 20 minutes to get to me. My dad made it home, and he ended up getting her out using a golf club and he attached a thick clothes hanger to the end with tape. He was able to push the unlock button. She was stuck in there for 40 minutes. I felt terrible.

KG woke up this morning at 230, and she was awake till about 3. At which point, BG woke up and screamed for 2 solid hours. I couldn't get her calmed down. She finally fell back asleep at 530. I had to get up a little after 7. The girls decided not to nap today either. What was up with that? I was so tired, that all I wanted to do was sleep.

TB announced to me at 9 PM that he still had homework. He has 5 comp. checks in science due tomorrow. There is one of them that I have no idea how in the world that he can do it. It is one of those that you label. Hmmmm, what to do.

I got to chat online with Hubster today for a bit. I teared up when he said good night. I miss him. Somebody said the other day that this feels like it is getting harder each day instead of easier. I miss him more and more each day. We will just keep chugging along. Each day down is one day closer.

Trunk or Treat

We had trunk or treat at church tonight. BG is still sick, so she stayed home with Grandma and Grandpa. KG hated it at first. Some of the costumes really scared her. The boys didn't want to do the trunk or treat first, so they went into the gym and played carnival games. When they were done with that, they came back outside. They started getting panicky because they so lightening. That meant they didn't do the trunk or treat, so they didn't get any candy. Oh well, they still have trick or treating on Saturday. KG did end up having fun when she realized that if she put out her bucket, that people would give her things. It was really cute. She would say thank you, and then head off for the next trunk. Lots of people at church checking on me and talking to me tonight. It was very nice with how busy that place was. Needless to say I got lots of hugs tonight. Hugs that were needed.

I've been working on a trip to Paris for a customer. Who will eventually buy it, but until he does, he is a pain in the butt.

I started my paperwork today to start back to school. Getting excited and nervous about this all at the same time. I'm hoping that I can do it with 4 kids. It is something that I want to do for myself though. That is important to me.

I'm supposed to meet another wife tomorrow for supper for her birthday. It should be fun. I'm going to take the girls with me. They had best be on their best behavior. I talked to another wife tonight who has had a very rough 2 months. I hope that she knows that she is loved, and that there are lots of prayers going up for her and her family.

Haven't really gotten to chat a lot with Hubster over the last week. They have been busy, and then the day that he has a chance to chat, I was busy. I miss talking to him. I didn't realize exactly how much that I would miss him or miss hearing his voice. I don't think any thing can prepare you for that loneliness.

I'm Wiped Out

BG hasn't slept very well the last two days. That means I haven't slept in the last two days. She went to bed tonight at 830, and I'm fixing to head that way myself. KG has been asleep since before 7. Oh, I hope she doesn't wake up. Please, don't wake up.

BG is still not feeling all that well. The doctor prescribed her an antibiotic for an viral infection. There is something going on with her besides the thrush. The thrush is looking a little better. She actually finally ate today for me. She gobbled down some chicken noodle soup both at lunch and at supper. She ate some ice. She drank a glass of tea. I'm hoping that she is on the mend. I don't like it when she is sick.

KG has been a toot the last few days. Today she threw the cat in the bathtub while I was taking a bath. The kitten was trying to use me as a climbing toy to get out. Then she sprayed BG with windex. I swear I'm going to pull my hair out. She has just been a royal toot lately. Whatever it is that has over taken her little body needs to get out. I want my sweet little girl back.

KB got in trouble at school, so that means he got in trouble at home. He was told that he had best go and apologize to his teacher tomorrow for arguing with her. Seems that he had gotten in trouble yesterday too, and I didn't know about it. He had best be glad that Hubster was not home. I have no idea what has happened to that child.

TB has been working hard all week to get things done, but he was arguing with grandma at school today too. What is up with these boys? I'm beginning to feel like a failure. Where have I gone wrong?

Today for me has been blah. I don't know how to really describe it. It has just been a blah day. I think part of it is because I'm tired. This not getting a full nights sleep because I'm still getting up with the girls is starting to get to me. I would pay good money to get a full nights sleep uninterrupted. I have really missed Bill today, and I'm starting to worry about money. I should really get a job, but I'm wanting to go back to school. I will figure it out. I always do.

Hubster, I love you.