is happening. Woke up this morning with a knot the size of my fist below my belly button. It hurts. Dr. M. can't see me until in the morning, so she told me to stay off my feet and come to the ER if I have any fever, chills, or the pain gets worse. Doesn't hurt as bad right this moment as it did when I got up, so that is a good thing. I'm sure that the knot will be gone before in the morning. I just want everybody to think I'm a freaking nut job. I know it was there because my mom could even see it on that side. It is very sensitive to touch.
Yesterday morning was the best I have felt in months. I was tender and a little sore. I actually got out and drove a few miles to take the girls to the doctor. I think that is why I might have developed a knot. I had to lift BG a few times. By the time I was done, I was wiped out energy wise and sore. I was very sore. I'm not to worried about the knot that has developed. I just figure I did something that I wasn't supposed to.
The kids are doing great. KG has grown so much over the last few months. I can't believe it. She is no longer a baby. Hubster found out about the surprise party I was going to throw for him on July 9. One of our friends at church accidentally spilled the beans. We had a good laugh about it. Now, I just have to figure out how I'm going to get everything done.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
One of Those Days...
Well, it has actually been a few of those days. Yesterday I went to the doctor for my 2 week post-op. She was upset with the weight loss. For some reason 14 pounds in 3 weeks doesn't make her happy. She was also concerned with the pain I'm still in. Told me if I didn't see significant improvement by next Thursday, I have to come back in for a ct scan.
I'm doing my best not to cry right at this moment. My emotions today have been all over the place. I finally got out of the house for a few hours. I went to eat lunch with my mom and kids and then ran to Ross's and Michael's. I was ready to come home after lunch. The hard chair that I sat on at lunch wasn't comfortable. I've been in pain ever since. I'm so tired of hurting.
I'm saddened by people that haven't even bothered to call, to send an email, or even a text to check on me. I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I heard from people that I never expected to, and then not a word from those that I expected to at least hear a "I hope you're feeling okay". I also realize that a lot of what I'm feeling right now is hormones out of whack. These last couple of weeks have been very hard on me physically and emotionally. I didn't expect this to be this hard. Even though I was done having kids, there is a part of me that grieves of what was taken because of this hysterectomy. I wasn't expecting that either. I didn't expect to be saddened by this. It has thrown me for a loop. From everything that I have read, this is normal. Maybe if I had bounced back quickly some of these emotions wouldn't be like they are right now.
At least I have tomorrow to look forward to GNO with some of my Seabee Sisters. I can't wait. I still can't drive, so Hubster is going to take me over there. Then he and the kids are going to go eat somewhere else. Hubster has also been working insane hours at work. It is craziness, but it has certainly padded our savings account. He will be off next weekend for the entire 3 day weekend. Plus his birthday is next Sunday. We are going out to lunch after church with our good friends. I can't wait.
I'm doing my best not to cry right at this moment. My emotions today have been all over the place. I finally got out of the house for a few hours. I went to eat lunch with my mom and kids and then ran to Ross's and Michael's. I was ready to come home after lunch. The hard chair that I sat on at lunch wasn't comfortable. I've been in pain ever since. I'm so tired of hurting.
I'm saddened by people that haven't even bothered to call, to send an email, or even a text to check on me. I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I heard from people that I never expected to, and then not a word from those that I expected to at least hear a "I hope you're feeling okay". I also realize that a lot of what I'm feeling right now is hormones out of whack. These last couple of weeks have been very hard on me physically and emotionally. I didn't expect this to be this hard. Even though I was done having kids, there is a part of me that grieves of what was taken because of this hysterectomy. I wasn't expecting that either. I didn't expect to be saddened by this. It has thrown me for a loop. From everything that I have read, this is normal. Maybe if I had bounced back quickly some of these emotions wouldn't be like they are right now.
At least I have tomorrow to look forward to GNO with some of my Seabee Sisters. I can't wait. I still can't drive, so Hubster is going to take me over there. Then he and the kids are going to go eat somewhere else. Hubster has also been working insane hours at work. It is craziness, but it has certainly padded our savings account. He will be off next weekend for the entire 3 day weekend. Plus his birthday is next Sunday. We are going out to lunch after church with our good friends. I can't wait.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
1 step Forward...2 Steps back
Or at least that is the way I'm feeling. Yesterday I felt like I was ran over by a car, which is better than feeling like I've been run over by a truck. I tried to do to much on Monday. That is code for I was on my feet more than I should have been. I can't be on my feet for more than 15 minutes at a time still before I'm in agonizing pain. This is getting ridiculous. Yesterday, I took it very easy. Stayed off my feet. I woke up this morning, and I actually felt good. I was just a little tender around my incision site. Thought it would be a good idea to do more than normal. I am now regretting it. I made the delicious chocolate eclairs that you see below, and I'm now in pain. My incision site is killing me. The pain is shooting down my legs, and I'm cramping like there is no tomorrow. This is freaking ridiculous. I go into the doctor tomorrow for my 2 week post-op check-up. I can't wait to hear what she has to say.
Chocolate Eclairs or Cream Puffs
Today I decided (Since I was feeling good) to try and cook/bake something different. They turned out yummy good even though I'm starting to regret being up on my feet for that amount of time. I did rest in between times, but I'm hurting now. It was easier than I was expecting to make them. I'm still kind of shocked at how easy they actually were to make.
The Puff Pastry
1 cup of water
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup flour
3 eggs
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Heat water and butter to boiling point. Add flour and stir constantly until mixture is smooth and forms a ball when tested in cold water. Remove from heat and let cool. Beat in 3 eggs, one at a time. Drop dough from tablespoon onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake for approximately 30-35 minutes or until light brown. Set aside to cool.
The Chocolate Cream
2 cups of whole milk
1 tsp Almond flavoring
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp of sugar
5 Tbsp of cake flour
3 Tbsps of cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 egg
2 egg yolks
1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp of heavy cream
In a medium saucepan bring the milk and almond flavoring to a boil. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk the sugar with the cake flour, cocoa and salt. Whisk in the egg and egg yolks. Slowly add the hot milk, whisking constantly. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan and bring to a boil over moderate heat, whisking constantly. Continue to boil the pastry cream, whisking constantly, until thick, about 30 seconds longer. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, or until cool.
In a medium bowl, whip the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Whisk the pastry cream, then fold in the whipped cream until blended.
Cut the puff pastry in half with a serrated knife. Spoon pastry cream into pastry. Set Aside.
The Chocolate Glaze
2 Tbsp melted butter
2 Tbsp cocoa
2 Tbsp Hot Water
1 Cup of Powdered Sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Mix melted butter, cocoa, and hot water. Blend the butter mixture with the powdered sugar and vanilla.
Dip the filled eclairs into the chocolate glaze. The glaze will harden as it dries. This yields about 20 eclairs.
The Puff Pastry
1 cup of water
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup flour
3 eggs
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Heat water and butter to boiling point. Add flour and stir constantly until mixture is smooth and forms a ball when tested in cold water. Remove from heat and let cool. Beat in 3 eggs, one at a time. Drop dough from tablespoon onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake for approximately 30-35 minutes or until light brown. Set aside to cool.
The Chocolate Cream
2 cups of whole milk
1 tsp Almond flavoring
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp of sugar
5 Tbsp of cake flour
3 Tbsps of cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 egg
2 egg yolks
1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp of heavy cream
In a medium saucepan bring the milk and almond flavoring to a boil. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk the sugar with the cake flour, cocoa and salt. Whisk in the egg and egg yolks. Slowly add the hot milk, whisking constantly. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan and bring to a boil over moderate heat, whisking constantly. Continue to boil the pastry cream, whisking constantly, until thick, about 30 seconds longer. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, or until cool.
In a medium bowl, whip the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Whisk the pastry cream, then fold in the whipped cream until blended.
Cut the puff pastry in half with a serrated knife. Spoon pastry cream into pastry. Set Aside.
The Chocolate Glaze
2 Tbsp melted butter
2 Tbsp cocoa
2 Tbsp Hot Water
1 Cup of Powdered Sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Mix melted butter, cocoa, and hot water. Blend the butter mixture with the powdered sugar and vanilla.
Dip the filled eclairs into the chocolate glaze. The glaze will harden as it dries. This yields about 20 eclairs.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
2 Posts in 1 Week...
First off, Happy Father's Day to 2 of the best men that I know, my Dad and Hubster. I have the hands down best dad in the world. Hubster is an amazing father. I couldn't have gotten any luckier when I spied him across a room playing pool. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would have 4 kids with him, but we do. I wouldn't change it for the world.
BG and I skipped church this morning. Still not up to riding in a car for 30 minutes. I tried a short car ride on Friday, and I regretted it. I'm feeling much better, but I still have pain in and and around my incision. The more I move around during the day. The more pain I'm in by the end of the day. I'm just trying to take it easy.
I got my acceptance letter for school, and I found out how much it is going to cost. I need to call the admissions office and see if there is somebody that I can talk to. I need to figure out just exactly what I need to do. We also found out this week if Hubster will attend 1 class on campus we get a housing allowance. We can't pass that up, so I'm trying to convince him that we need to attend a class together.
BG and I skipped church this morning. Still not up to riding in a car for 30 minutes. I tried a short car ride on Friday, and I regretted it. I'm feeling much better, but I still have pain in and and around my incision. The more I move around during the day. The more pain I'm in by the end of the day. I'm just trying to take it easy.
I got my acceptance letter for school, and I found out how much it is going to cost. I need to call the admissions office and see if there is somebody that I can talk to. I need to figure out just exactly what I need to do. We also found out this week if Hubster will attend 1 class on campus we get a housing allowance. We can't pass that up, so I'm trying to convince him that we need to attend a class together.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Weekly Recap...
This has been what I like to dub "A WEEK". It has been extremely long. Last Thursday was of course surgery day. I arrived at the hospital at 11 for my 1 PM surgery. Surgery started on time, and the next thing I remember is waking up at 6 PM in my room. I ended up having a total abdominal hysterectomy, which will be known as TAH from here on out. I had to much scar tissue on my intestines to have the "easier" surgery. I got to go the full route. I was in surgery for 4.5 hours. I don't think my body knows how to do easy any more.
Friday was uneventful. Saturday Hubster had drill, and I got released from the hospital a full day early because I was doing good. That is code for I got up out of the hospital bed and walked the hospital halls until I felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted to go home. Crazy me missed my kids and the noise. I about went stir crazy on Friday being by myself in a hospital room not able to get out of bed.
Sunday Hubster was frocked. We are incredibly proud of him. He has waited a long time for this.
The rest of the week has me basically sitting in a recliner with my feet propped up. I never imagined in my life that I would hurt this much. I wasn't expecting the pain that I'm in. I can take the 3 other surgeries and having 4 kids combine it, and I don't think it would come close to the pain that I've been in after this surgery. I have also had some moments over the past week where I wonder if what I had done was worth it. The second guessing of myself rears it's ugly head. In my pain induced and medicated induced fog, I vaguely recall hearing my doctor tell me that the pain I was in before surgery should now be fixed. I will get the full details at my 2 week check up next Thursday. She has put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) because I vaguely recall her mentioning that she took everything or most of everything. I'm sitting here in my recliner at 7 AM awake because I moved wrong at 5 AM this morning. Nothing like a burning, searing pain to wake you up. The ache that is left over has not let up, and now the debate is on to rather or not to call the doctor. What to do, what to do.
Friday was uneventful. Saturday Hubster had drill, and I got released from the hospital a full day early because I was doing good. That is code for I got up out of the hospital bed and walked the hospital halls until I felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted to go home. Crazy me missed my kids and the noise. I about went stir crazy on Friday being by myself in a hospital room not able to get out of bed.
Sunday Hubster was frocked. We are incredibly proud of him. He has waited a long time for this.
The rest of the week has me basically sitting in a recliner with my feet propped up. I never imagined in my life that I would hurt this much. I wasn't expecting the pain that I'm in. I can take the 3 other surgeries and having 4 kids combine it, and I don't think it would come close to the pain that I've been in after this surgery. I have also had some moments over the past week where I wonder if what I had done was worth it. The second guessing of myself rears it's ugly head. In my pain induced and medicated induced fog, I vaguely recall hearing my doctor tell me that the pain I was in before surgery should now be fixed. I will get the full details at my 2 week check up next Thursday. She has put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) because I vaguely recall her mentioning that she took everything or most of everything. I'm sitting here in my recliner at 7 AM awake because I moved wrong at 5 AM this morning. Nothing like a burning, searing pain to wake you up. The ache that is left over has not let up, and now the debate is on to rather or not to call the doctor. What to do, what to do.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!
If I could turn back the clock to December 2009, I wouldn't have a tubal done. I have had nothing but problems since then. I'm convinced that this is a major reason that I'm having a hysterectomy tomorrow. I just find it oddly funny that I didn't have 1 single problem before the tubal, and I haven't had anything but since. I never had the pain before. My cycle was on time like clockwork until the tubal was done. I would gladly turn the clock back and undo this if I could. I would go a different route in order not to get pregnant again. I've talked to many friends that have had a tubal and within a year they have had to have a hysterectomy. I know there are people out there that don't have 1 single problem, but they don't seem to be that many of them. When I hear people are getting a tubal done, my first instinct is to tell them to run for the hills and not do it. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Instead I bite my tongue and wish them luck. The surgery itself wasn't all that bad. The recovery wasn't bad. It has been the after affects that have been horrible.
I'm getting very nervous about tomorrow. Ready to have this last surgery done and over. I need to pack my hospital bag. I just got finished drinking my magnesium citrate. That stuff is all kinds of nasty. I need to hydrate some more tonight before midnight.
I'm getting very nervous about tomorrow. Ready to have this last surgery done and over. I need to pack my hospital bag. I just got finished drinking my magnesium citrate. That stuff is all kinds of nasty. I need to hydrate some more tonight before midnight.
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