I'm sitting here waiting on KB's friend to pick him up. They should be here in the next few minutes, and I thought I might actually sit here and play catch up.
MY brother, his wife, and my niece came over Saturday afternoon for Christmas. They brought over the boys computers. They were both so excited to have them. I can't say that I blame them. He got the girls their own little "laptops". They both love them which means they all leave my laptop alone. We didn't do much of any thing at all over the weekend.
We watched football all day yesterday. All the teams that we wanted to win won. Yesterday though was one of "those" days. I don't know how else to explain it. It is one of those days during a deployment when your emotions run all over the board. First off, I woke up late because KG did not sleep well at all. That caused me to miss not only church yesterday morning, but also a chance to chat online. That is NEVER a good way to start the day. I woke up feeling off. My head was hurting, and it felt like I had been on a bender. Except for the fact that I hadn't. I don't hardly ever drink any more. Then it just seemed to never get better. I did get a chance to chat with Hubster online. I'm grateful for that. I really am. It just isn't the same. I did get to take a short nap in the afternoon. I was hoping that would improve my mood or at least lift the cloud of doom surrounding me. I got up and watched the Sunday night football game. While it was on, I was chatting online with 2 different Seabee wives. I really wish both of them lived closer to me. SD is like me, a SAHM. We were discussing the wide range of emotions that we were both experiencing today. We both were saying how we wish we worked outside the home because it seems that the days drag. We always wish for the thing that we can't have I guess. SD and I were talking about how we would like a few days of not having to worry about anybody else but ourselves. The stress of having to constantly be "on" is doing us in. She was cracking me up with her I want to be the crap out of somebody and then hug them. Yes, there are days that I feel that way. I just want to shut myself off and shut down. I want just a few days to myself. I don't want to have to worry about anybody.
FD and I decided that we were some sort of magnets this deployment for the disturbed. Both of us have had to deal with somebody telling us that a family member is bipolar. Oye. She said that she wished that she hadn't even opened up that can of worms with the other spouse. It was really funny because I was picturing her picking up all these worms and trying to get them back into their little can. All the while, talking to the worms telling them not to come back out.
Maybe it is me that is disturbed. LOL. All I really know at this point is, that one, I'm really ready for this to be over. Two, that I miss Hubster terribly. Three, that I have made some wonderful new friends, and four, I feel at times like I'm done. Not done with Hubster, but done with this deployment. I want to take my ball home. I don't want to play anymore. I want to tell the Navy that we quit. Don't think they would appreciate that, but it doesn't hurt to fantasize about telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine. Oh well, I will pull myself up by my bootstraps. Ha, ha, ha...I don't wear boots. I will put my big girl panties on. I will plaster a smile on my face, and I will fake it till I make it. Because just because I say I'm done, doesn't mean that I'm really done. I am SuperMom. I can do this. I will do this, and I will be waiting at home for Hubster because dad gum it, I love that man to distraction!
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