Wrap Up...

Thursday was actually a good day till I got home. I met Shiloh for Starbucks and pedicures. The people are so nice where we go. They told us to just relax and take our time after they were done. We set there for nearly an hour laughing and chatting. It was very nice and relaxing. Then we met Rachel for lunch. The boys had a musical program Thursday evening that was okay and thankfully short. It was after I got home that things kind of fell apart. I had an email from KB's teacher. I talked to Hubster about the email. It was like being hit in the stomach. He called our Pastor. Who said he would call me to set up a time to talk to KB. Never got a phone call, but this morning my pastor asked me if I got his message. I didn't, so either he called Hubster's cell phone or a wrong number or my phone ate the message.

Friday wasn't any thing exciting. I don't even remember what I did.

Saturday went out with some other Seabee wives to Outback. It was a blast. I had so much fun. When I got home my mom told me that she won't watch the girls again. Seems they cried a bit. UGH! Great. Just what I wanted to hear.

Sunday school, church, and church again were great. I'm starting to feel the stress though of the end of the deployment. I'm really trying not to stress out about it, but I am. I worry about his job. I worry about how things will be when he gets home. I worry about the money situation. I worry about all of these what ifs. I'm stressed to the point where I'm afraid that if any thing else goes wrong that I'm going to shatter. There is that much stress on my shoulders right now. I know that every thing will be fine. It is in God's hands. I feel alone, and I dread Easter Sunday. I'm not looking forward to being alone. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can already tell that Sunday is going to be very hard as it was the last deployment. At least this time, I'm going to church.

The kids have dental appointments in the morning, and I can't find the paperwork I filled out. The printer isn't working, so I need to make sure that I get there early enough to fill it all out again. UGH! Just another thing that I have to deal with.

I Need This Deployment Over.

I don't think there needs to be any more said. Hubster I love you and miss you.

Crazy Busy With Work...

I'm not going to complain, but I have logged close to 80 hours of work in the last two weeks. At least those hours have been productive. I should log around $1600 in commissions. Wish I could do that all the time. I have 3 more trips that I'm working on now.

I missed Sunday morning church services because I slept through my alarm. I never even heard it going off. I guess I was tired. We did make it to the services on Sunday night. I got home and was chatting online with a couple of different wives who went to the reintegration meeting. I was seething by the time I was done. Seems we won't be told when they will be home until 3 days prior. I don't know what to book. It isn't fun. I have about a 5 day time window now. No idea what to expect. I'm ready for it to be done. I'm ready to be done with March, and I know that we are close to being there.

I'm hoping to get the playroom cleaned tomorrow. If nothing else, that is what I want to get done. Thursday I am meeting Shiloh and Rachel for Starbucks, pedicures, and lunch. It should be fun.

I have no idea what to do with KB. He doesn't want to go to school. He says he doesn't have any friends. That one of the boys in his class is telling other kids lies about him, so that none of the kids will play with him. I guess I will email his teacher and see if she knows any thing. His grades are slipping bad. I'm ready for Hubster to get home. Hopefully he can talk to KB. I just don't know what else to do.

I Think I Will Live...

I have been so sick for the last 2 days. Today I have felt pretty much back to normal except for a nasty cough and very sore stomach muscles. Yesterday, that I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die.

KG got gum in her hair last night. The only way to get it out was to cut it out. I'm still not sure how much we will have to cut off before it will look okay. She cried when we were cutting out the gum.

Friday it was 73 degrees here. Saturday it is 32 with snow. The weather is crazy.

I tried out a new icing recipe for KG's cupcakes. Turned out to be good.

Hubster called today. I feel bad because his chief told him to call home. I'm friend's with Chief's wife, and I asked her if she had heard from her husband. Found out that what had happened, and she said that she would tell Chief to tell Hubster to call me the next time. Wasn't exactly what I had wanted to do, but I did get a phone call this afternoon. I asked him if he was told to call home. I don't think he would have if Chief hadn't told him too. Then he didn't really talk. Made me kind of wish he hadn't called since he didn't take it upon himself to be the one that actually called. I could tell that if he hadn't been told to call home, that he wouldn't have. Makes me always feel good. Yes, that was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell.

Today has Sucked...

There are no words to sugarcoat it. It has sucked. I want to sit down in my closet and cry. It has been that bad. I hate the end of a deployment. I despise the end of a deployment. I'm at that point where the end is so near, but at the same time it feels far away. It doesn't help that I didn't hear from Hubster today. Even though he hasn't actually called on a phone in nearly 3 weeks, I still get to chat online with him just about every day. Today hasn't been one of those days though. I guess he figured I was going to be busy today, so there really wasn't a point in getting online. I know he has been tired. Still when you don't hear from them, your mind starts playing nasty tricks on you. We are so close to the end. I happened to look at the count-up clock today. It reads 180 days. That is 6 months dang it. 6 months...He should be home. Stupid, stupid extension. I hate this. I'm now wondering what else is going to hit me wrong today. I'm very disconnected from everything.

Add that to the fact that I had plans for today that got canceled. The boys have no desire to go any where. I really need to run some errands, and I have zero desire to get dressed and go do them. I need to clean my house. It needs a thorough cleaning, and I have zero desire to do that either. I hate our bedroom furniture. I want a new bedroom. I want a new bed set at the minimum.

KG did go pee in the toilet today. I was very proud of her, but then she wanted her diaper back on after she did it. I really do just want to give up. I need to buy some new clothes, but I'm afraid to go and spend the money on it even though I have found some excellent deals online. What should I do?

Another Wednesday Is Done...

another church service attended without Hubster. That means that we are that much closer though to him being home. I can't wait. Church was great tonight as always. Really starting to enjoy our new worship leader more and more. Took him a few weeks to get into the groove of things. Him and his wife attend our Sunday school class. She is just as sweet. I really do like her.

Didn't do much today except go to Sams. Went and got a little bit of food. Sent my brother some money that he had asked if he could borrow until the 1st. Figured this way I wouldn't spend it, and I will just put it into my vacation fund when he pays me back.

Been another good day. I felt off this morning, but the rest of the day was good. I am noticing that my nerves are a little on edge. Little things are starting to get to me. This is part of the build up to him coming home, and knowing that I have so much to do to get done. He won't care one way or the other, but I do. I didn't get any thing accomplished that I was wanting to, and that starts a vicious cycle. Now, I'm hoping and praying that I don't get any more curve balls thrown at me. Please Lord, don't let there be any curve balls. I know this is the military, and there are bound to be. At least let them be something that isn't bad.

Halfway through Another Month...

I'm ready for March to be over. The good thing is that we are halfway there.

Hubster sent me flowers today. He had read my blog from Saturday, and he thought I might need a pick me up. How very sweet it was. He certainly didn't have to do that. I love him regardless of it, but it was such a nice surprise. I thought it was a neighbor kid ringing my doorbell this afternoon looking for the boys. Instead I open the door to a woman delivering me flowers. It was such a nice surprise.

I'm waiting to find out if my nephews are going to be coming up this week. I have heard rumors that they are, but I haven't spoken with them yet to verify those rumors. I sure hope they do. I would love to see them. My oldest nephew's fiancee has a 2 year old little girl who enjoys playing with KG. She told Jeremy that she needed to come see KG. I think that is hilarious. I am supposed to meet my friend on Thursday at the park with the kids for lunch. We are going to have cupcakes for KG's 3rd birthday. I can't believe my baby is going to be 3. We are going to go Friday to the botantical gardens with my aunt and have a picnic. Hopefully we will get some great pictures.

We are still debating on rather or not to bring the kids out to GP when Hubster makes it back to the US. We are looking at the financial aspect of it. I'm hoping to get it worked out.

Think I might be painting the girls bedroom. Don't know yet. I've got to go and get KG a new bed as well as start looking for a toddler bed for BG. When did my girls get so big?

Saturday Night...

I sit her on my bed tonight contemplating. I went to our prayer and worship for one of the ladies in our Sunday school class. She is having a stint put in her brain on the 22nd. You could feel God in the room. It was really amazing. I don't even know how to describe our Sunday school class. It is such a great fellowship of people. There is a closeness to the group. I'm so glad that my New Year's resolution was to get involved again with the Sunday school class and to start going. It was the best thing I have done all deployment.

Friday was a relaxing day. I went with Felecia to get a massage, a pedicure, lunch, and some shopping. I got home with enough time to spare to get dressed for a night out with some other Seabee wives. I must say it was interesting, but it really hit home again at how much I have changed. I never felt comfortable. I'm not into the being loud any more. We had people get up and move, and I felt bad about that. If I would have had children with me, I would have not been happy. I have no desire to get drunk. I've really lost most desire to even take a drink.

I can look tonight at the two completely different scenarios, and I know where my life is right now. My life is with my church family. It is with God. As much as I state that they don't know what I might be going through on a day to day basis, they love me regardless. I have a peace that knows no bounds.

I also tonight have been contemplating what the reintegration is going to be like when Hubster gets home. I'm nervous and worried. I'm nervous that he will see me, and wonder why he married me. I'm nervous that we will have problems within our marriage. I worry about Hubster's ankle and job. I worry about how the kids are going to do. I worry that Hubster will think I have done a terrible job at raising the kids. I have all of these thoughts, and I know that I need to turn them over to God. That it is in His hands.

I Can't Believe It's Thursday...

This week has FLOWN by. I've been so busy with my job, starting to prepare for Hubster's homecoming, getting flights arranged, getting hotels booked, getting a car booked, and hunting for a new vehicle to us, that I look up and it's the end of the week. Man I hope the last few weeks of this deployment fly by just like this because I'm ready to see my husband. I can't even remember what has been going on.

Going out Friday night with some other Seabee wives for one of their birthdays. Actually got a sitter for the night. I bought MIL's airline ticket for her trip out to watch the kids, so that I can go and spend a glorious week with my husband by myself without kids. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about having any more little ragamuffins. Found Hubster a 1997 Ford Explorer 4x4 today. My dad brought it home for me to test drive. It has had one owner. It is very clean, and it handled very well. It was also $1000 less than we were expecting to pay. All in all, I think I will go ahead and get it. I get to drive it tomorrow. It has been nearly 2 years since we have been a 2 family car. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow. We are going to get a massage plus who knows what else. I did end up buying 2 new skirts today. I love it when I get a deal. They both hit me right at the knee and are denim. One of them has 2 denim ruffles at the bottom, and the the other one has a zipper that runs from the bottom all the way up to the pocket. I think Hubster will like that one. He was texting me while I was shopping for clothes for the trip. He was cracking me up with his comments because he was wanting to know what I was buying. I can't wait for him to be home.

I told our pastor last night that we had a time frame and gave him a two week time period. He was so excited. He wanted to announce it. I told him to hold off. That I would let him know when he could.

Saturday night I have a Sunday school pray and worship for one of our classmates. She is having brain surgery on the 22nd. How scary. We found out that my uncle has stomach cancer, but they think they caught it early. It has been a busy last couple of days, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. That is just the way I like it right now.

The Weekend...

Ended up inviting Felecia and her kids over on Saturday night for supper. It was nice having another adult to talk to. TB reminds me of his dad. It was nice outside Saturday, so we decided to grill some burgers and hotdogs. TB asked if he could do the grilling. He even wanted to season the meat. I wouldn't let him after he started naming of spices to put in it. He did end up doing the grilling of them though.

TB woke me up about five on Sunday morning telling me that his stomach was hurting. I told him to go the bathroom. About an hour later, he starts throwing up all over my floor. That in turn made me sick when I was cleaning it up. I thought that was what made me sick. TB stayed home, and the rest of us went to church. Got home from church, and I was feeling awful. I was hurting, so I fed the kids. Then I went and laid down. I fell asleep for nearly 3 hours. Woke up and I was throwing up. Got the kids fed and laid back down. Only to be awoken at 1 AM with KB throwing up. He at least made it to the bathroom. He took a shower after he was done, and I kept both boys home from school today. I still have felt bad all day. I finally kept something in my stomach tonight. Even eating it though made me queasy. My head is hurting also which hasn't helped.

My new wedding ring made it in. I'm hoping to get to a jewelers to get it resized for me. I hope that they can do it instead of having to send it back. It is very pretty, and I'm very happy with it.

Put my mother-in-law's airline ticket on hold. Just need her to look at it, and to let me know if it is a go or not. She will be here for 18 days, and my sister-in-law will be here for 15. That sounds like loads of fun to me.

Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more...

Feel like all I do is wait these days. I'm really tired of waiting. I can't figure out what I want to do today, or even if I want to do anything. It is just the kids and me today. Nobody else. The boys are wanting to see the Lightening Thief, so we might do that. I just don't know. I don't feel like shopping even though there are actually a few things that are needed. I just don't know what I want. Well, I know what I want, but I can't have yet. Time is starting to wind down on this deployment, and that makes me happy. I'm just ready for it to be done. I just want to fast forward to the end.

Yesterday, KB had his speech meet. He got a superior ribbon and was very, very close to an excellent. I was proud of him, but he was disappointed. He isn't a very good loser. He prefers to win, and he was wanting a medal. Looked in BG's mouth yesterday, and she has 8 teeth breaking the gum line. No wonder she hasn't been her perky self. The boys had a lock in at church. I had to pick them up this morning at 830. BG decided that 6 was a great time to get up this morning. I'm sleepy, and I want a nap. KG was up before 7. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that BG was pinching her nose while she slept. Nothing at all.

I've got to get a hotel room in GP for when Hubster makes it back to the states. I can't wait to see him. Think I might go ahead and get that part done, and try to figure out where he is wanting to go when he takes his block leave. His sister called and asked if she could come to see the kids from April 15 - 25. I have no problem with that. The kids adore her. Plus the boys have a very nice 4 day weekend the first weekend she is here. I'm thinking a road trip might be in order.

Hubster finally got his package yesterday that I sent him for Valentine's Day. It had his new wedding ring in it. We can't Skype, but I was able to see him on his webcam. He was wearing it. Said it fit perfectly. I asked him if any body noticed it because he hasn't worn a wedding ring in ages. He keeps losing them. He can't really work with it on with his real job. He said that before anybody could say anything he was showing it to everybody. That makes me feel good. It makes me realize how much he values us. I was joking with him and asked him if he told everybody he is now married. Seems he talks about us a lot. Ahhhh, I love that man. I couldn't be any more lucky or blessed.

It Is In the Mail...

My new wedding ring that is. I should be getting it Monday. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see it.

Nothing exciting really happened on Wednesday. We went to church last night, and that is all I can remember of it.

Today was my day out, and I had a massage and facial scheduled by Hubster for today. I had a couple of hours before it was time for my massage, so I decided to get a pedicure. The guy that was doing it cut my foot. He said I had a hangnail, and that was what was causing it. It hurts like the dickens tonight. I'm going to keep an eye on it to make sure an infection doesn't set in. I didn't think it was going to ever quit bleeding. The facial wasn't like any facial I have ever had before. It was more of a facial massage while she cleaned my face than a facial. I do believe that I prefer a regular facial. The massage wasn't as good as I usually get either. I'm actually pretty sore tonight. I don't know if that was from the knots or what. My shoulder is still hurting. I was hoping that a massage would work out the issues with my shoulder. Guess it didn't. I still though love and appreciate the fact that Hubster got it for me.

I only got a chance to chat online with Hubster today for a few minutes. He said that he had a long day and was tired. I'm worried about him. I worry about his ankle that is all messed up. Wondering what is going to happen with it when he gets home.

KB has district speech meet tomorrow. The girls and I are going to go to the school he is having it at and have lunch with him, and then stay for the awards ceremony. I think he will do great. He is so excited.

It has been a good week with the kids. They have all been listening and doing what they have been told. Well, BG is being her normal rambunctious self, but that is what an 18 month old does.

Sickies Invaded Yesterday...

1KG had a stomach bug that struck last night. Thankfully it only lasted last night. She threw up on her MeMaw 2 times. Thankfully it was her and not me. BG still has gunky eyes, but that is all that is wrong with her. They did look much better when she woke up this morning.

I got to see Hubster yesterday on Skype and messenger. It was so good to see him. I actually did my hair this morning and put on makeup. Hoping to get to see him again. He got me a new wedding ring. I can't wait to get it. I really liked what he picked out. Hubster also sent the kids a package. I didn't get any thing in the package, not even a letter. He said he was in a hurry. Whatever. :) He sent the boys a backpack each with their names embroidered on them along with some more emblems. They weren't sure that they would be allowed to carry them in school. I had to tell them it was going to be okay. They were very excited. The girls each got a blanket. KG's is Dora, and BG's is Winnie the Pooh and Friends. They both were rolling up in them. They are so soft. I love these blankets. Hubster also sent home a blanket for himself that is an USA flag, Statue of Liberty, and the words God Bless America on it. KB asked if he could sleep in it until Daddy got home. He really misses him. Oh well, my present is in the mail. It just didn't come with the kids' package.

I was so PROUD of the boys yesterday. KB stayed at home because he was "sick". He was as sick as I was. Which means he wasn't sick. I told him that he had to do his homework as soon as he got it, and he was not allowed to gripe. He started on his homework as soon as TB brought it to him. He was finished with all of it by 5. Not one word of griping was heard from him. He just sat down and did it. Then TB had just a little bit of homework, and he did the same thing. He sat down at 5 which is what time I asked him to do it, and he did it without any griping. I don't think they understand how much of a difference it makes on me when I don't have to gripe at them to do their homework. It made for a much more pleasant evening to have all of the homework done by 6. Let's hope and pray we can keep it going tonight.

The Big Girl Panties are On...

Woke up this morning to a brand new month. It felt so good to take the February lunch menu off the fridge. That is what our deployment countdown calender is written on. I had refused to even start counting down until I knew that we were under a 100 days. I didn't want to see any 3 digit numbers up on the wall any where. It feels so good to mark another month done and gone. Now just hoping that March follows in February's foot steps and speeds by. I'm trying to cram as much stuff into this month to keep me busy, to have things to look forward too. I've already got plans for the 4th. I get to have my massage and facial. On the 11th, I get to go to the dentist. Yes, I know, not something to look forward to all that much. I am trying to make arrangements to meet somebody for lunch that day though for after the appointment. On the 12th, I'm meeting Felecia for who knows what. I guess that day will be whatever trouble we can get into. The next week is spring break for the boys. I haven't decided yet what to do, but I'm hoping for gorgeous weather. I want to stay outside as much as possible. I'm thinking a trip to the zoo, the museum, a picnic lunch at the botanical gardens, a night in a hotel somewhere that has an indoor pool so they can go swimming. I don't know what all we will do, but I want it to be fun. We might even venture away for a road trip. Who knows. Still trying to firm up plans for the 25th. Hoping that Shiloh can meet up that day. Then we will be into April. I can't wait for April. April is shaping up to be a wonderful month too, full of things to do and places to go and people to see.

Woke up this morning to a much better attitude. It makes a huge difference. Just thankful that I serve a mighty God. Satan likes to hammer me with what he knows are my weaknesses. He was trying to take away the joy I had last night, and he did a good job of it till this morning. This morning I woke up with joy. I love it when I wake up with joy and happiness. It makes for a much better day. I still miss Hubster, but I have joy in knowing that we are getting to the end. That each day down marks one day closer to him being home. He is going to LOVE our Sunday school class. I just know it.