What Started Out so Great...

ended up so bad. It is nights like tonight that I just want to hibernate until this deployment is over. Going to start with the good though. I need to mull over what has been great about today. I got up this morning only to have BG down for the count with gunky eyes. I didn't want to risk getting any other kids sick. We get to church and as we walk in the door KG breaks down in tears. She keeps saying that we left BG in the car. I was telling her that no, BG stayed at home with MeMaw and Grandpa because she was sick. She wasn't buying the fact that BG wasn't in fact left in the car. It was really sweet. She was so worried about her sister. She even told the nursery workers that Momma left BG in the car. Sunday school was wonderful as always. Church was fantastic. Had to run up on base for some groceries, so I ran back home after church and picked up my mom and the girls. We got our groceries, and on the way home my mom was messing with the power outlet in the van. It had a penny in it. I told her that I wasn't so sure that was a good idea. Just as I said it, her phone rang and vibrated. She jumped, threw her phone, and screamed. I laughed and laughed till I had tears running down my face. It was so funny. Got home just in time to unload the van and load the kids back up in the car for Sunday night services. Worship service was AMAZING. The men in our church went to a retreat. Tonight was about their testimonies. Seems the conference was on men being the spiritual leader of their homes. Man Up was the catch phrase. It sounds like it was a great conference. I was fine until that point. We got to the end of the service, and Pastor did the invitation. That is when the tears started. All of those men, went to their families to pray with them. There I stood, with my husband thousands of miles away, tears streaming down my face. I felt like a weight settled on my shoulders. All I wanted to do was crumple into a ball and sob. It doesn't matter that he will be home soon. What mattered is that at that place and time, he wasn't home. I don't think a single person noticed how upset that I got. I just wanted to grab my kids and run out of there. The pain was horrible. My arms ached to hold him. After the final amen was said, I put my head down and got out of there as fast as I could. I sat in my van and cried for a good five minutes. I felt so alone. This wonderful feeling I had from a wonderful service was gone in the space of 5 minutes. The good day that I had was gone. All I have felt since has been an unbearable sadness. I want to be left alone, but I can't do that. I will now go and put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. Things will be better in the morning when I wake up to a new month. It means that we are one month closer to Hubster being home.

In case you missed it Hubster, I miss you so much. I can't wait for you to be home.

Don't want to Have to Do that Again...

The next funeral I have to attend for a service member will be way to soon. The service was very poignant. He had very few family members but a ton of friends. It was a standing room only crowd. I got there just as the service started. That is what happens when you are talking on the phone to your husband, and go right past your exit. I had no idea where I was going any way. I was kind of disappointed that there were not more wives there for the funeral. There were only between 6 to 8 including me. I would hope that if something happened to my husband, that more would show up. After the funeral, Hubster called to see how the funeral was, and to tell me thank you for going in his place. That it really meant a lot to him. I don't want to have to go to another one ever. Even driving into the National Cemetery and seeing the rows upon rows upon rows of markers for military members would tear you up. It was an amazing site. Now, I'm going to take a little break from my regular scheduled blogging in order to bring you this rant.....

I don't know how it is in every body else's neck of the woods, but around here when you see a funeral procession driving through, you pull over and stop until they have passed with the exception being on interstate.

Mr. Police Officer told us all to turn on our hazard lights to let people know we were part of the funeral procession. This also means that you don't stop for red lights etc...

1. Douche Bag #1 - the guy in the gold Ford pickup...I can understand how incredibly busy you are, but did you have to nearly run me freaking over, so that you could go through the red light without stopping and then immediately get out of line and go about your business. How disrespectful you are.

2. Douche Bag #2 - Just because you have a green light doesn't mean that you can turn left and get into the funeral procession line. I know that you were probably confused with the police car, Patriot Guard riders (What an awesome group of people!), hearse, limo, and the mile long line of cars with the hazard lights flashing. I guess you didn't realize that you nearly took out the car in front of me because you were in such a gosh dang hurry to get to where ever you were going. It doesn't matter that you had a green light. The funeral procession has the right of way. I don't really care where you were going.

3. Douche Bag #3 - Get off your stinking cell phone and pay attention. I get that you are getting on interstate, but to stay in between the car in front of me all the while talking on your cell phone, just smacks of insensitivity. Being that I was 6 cars back from the hearse, should have let you know that you just hopped into a funeral procession. Scoot over to the next lane instead of jabbering on the phone.

4. Douche Bag #4 - The trucker in the 18 wheeler - Thanks for getting in between me and the car in front of me. I couldn't see around you, and I had no idea where I was going. I thought you were in the far right lane in order to exit only to find out that you just wanted to drive there. I know that you could see that you were part of a funeral procession. I got lucky that I was able to see them exit, or I would have had a line of cars about a mile long trying to find the National Cemetery. Move over.

Got that off my chest. The Patriot Guard Riders are amazing.

My best friend came over to watch the girls for me, so that I could go. Her and her husband and their kids stayed for supper. He took all of the kids upstairs, and Nita and I got to eat supper in peace and quiet. It was so lovely. My kids just love Leonard. I can't wait for Hubster to get home in order, so that we can get together to play dominoes.

Hubster was able to get online today. It only cost him $130. GRRRRRR, that is freaking highway robbery for a month of service. I actually got to see him on Skype, but he couldn't see us or even hear us. Maybe tomorrow we will have a better connection. I did end up getting the girl's Easter dresses. I usually hold off until the Saturday before Easter, but I found the ones I liked. I went ahead and bought them. BG's is a purple plaid, and KG's is a pink plaid. I just have to get the fancy socks, white dress shoes, and hair bows.

Funkilicious...

Think that is going to be my new word because I'm certainly stuck in one. We are at that point in the deployment where the end is close enough to taste but to far away to actually feel. I'm ready for Hubster to be home. I want him here beside me tomorrow as I attend the funeral of a fellow sailor who passed away last week.

Hubster has called the last couple of days because he doesn't have internet. It has been lovely to talk to him, but I can tell that he is in a funkilicious mood too. I worry about him. His ankle is really bothering him, and I'm not sure what the medical plan will be on it. He doesn't complain about aches and pains, and when he tells me it hurts, I know it hurts.

The girls are doing good. BG got another tooth. It is just now breaking the gum, so she is up to a whopping 6 teeth. KG will be 3 in March, and I haven't planned any thing for her birthday. I don't even know what to plan. I was hoping that she would be potty trained by now.

The boys are doing good too. They actually got to talk to Hubster today on the phone. I was so glad. I think that is the first time they have gotten to talk to him since Christmas.

I've got to run and get some new shoes for the funeral for tomorrow. I don't have any good black shoes. I'm not in the mood to shop either, so this doesn't sound appealing to me at all. I will though because it needs to be done.

Ahhhh, Am I Glad today is done...

I decided that today I was going to start potty training KG. She has no desire what so ever to potty train, but she was excited because she got to pick out some Dora panties this past weekend. We started off gung ho. She put on her panties. She would go and sit on the toilet. She loves to sit on the toilet. Now getting her to actually use the toilet is a different story. After 3 accidents in a 2 hour time period plus chasing around BG who decided today that she was going to become a stripper, I was done with the potty training.

BG has learned how to strip naked. She took off her diaper at least 4 times, and 2 of those times she pooped. Once in her bed and once on the floor. She loves to run around without any clothes on. What kid doesn't though? It has been one of those days.

Combine that on top of them not napping today, and I am beat. They both were handfuls today. Usually I have one or the other that is in to every thing, but today it was both of them. Just glad that the day is over and the kids are in bed and asleep.

I haven't heard from Hubster since Saturday. Anxiety is starting to niggle at me. I'm starting to get a little nervous. I'm hoping to hear something from him soon.

I'm looking at the Count Up Clock...

on the corner of my blog, and today it says 155. Hubster has been boots on the ground for 155 days. That doesn't even count the 3 months that Hubster was away from home to begin the training to even get to the boots on the ground stage. Over all he has been gone nearly 250 days. That is 250 days away from home. We have been talking about what we are going to do this summer. Last summer it was spent with preparing for Hubster to deploy. This summer I don't know what I will do with myself. The kids and I were gone last summer more than we were home. We tried to squeeze every little bit of family time in that we could before boots really did hit the ground. This summer is going to feel different. Who knows what it is going to bring? Even though a little birdy told me it is going to bring a family cruise to start it off. I'm ready though for whatever it brings as long as Hubster is home this summer.

I missed a phone call yesterday from Hubster. My phone setting was set on low, and I never heard it ring. He told me that I needed to run by a day spa to pick up my Valentine's Day present. I got there and the lady handed me a gift card for a full spa day. She told me that I could split it up too which is what I will probably do. That way I can use the portion of it for haircut, style, and makeup on a day when I know that Hubster is home. That way we can go on a date. I can't wait for my massage and facial. My shoulder is killing me. I have no idea what is wrong with it, but it hurts to touch it or move it.

Tomorrow is dentist day for the kids. I have to have all 4 of them there at 8 AM. That should be fun. Today has turned out beautiful so far. The kids should enjoy it because the 72 degree day today is going to make way for a 30 degree plus snow day on Tuesday. Don't like the weather just way a minute, it will change.

Mucinex is my friend. It knocked out the sinus stuff in 2 doses. I will now forever swear by the stuff.

This is what I hate...

I knew today that something was wrong with Hubster. I could tell just by his answers when he texted me, and I felt like I couldn't do a thing to fix it. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that every thing is okay, but I can't. All I can do is let him know that I love him. That I will be here. Waiting for you. Missing you. Loving you.

It was a Better Day...

Even though I'm sick now. I feel like death warmed over. My jaw hurts, and I'm hoping it is just because that I've been hit 2 times now and not dry socket. Oh please Lord, do not let it be dry socket. That would not be good on top of the congestion, the cough, and the stuffy nose that I now have.

It was a better day in our house. Thankfully. Every thing seems to be right with the world for now. Hubster called this afternoon. It was the first time that he has called in 2 weeks. It was so nice to hear his voice. I don't think words can describe how wonderful it was to see the odd looking number pop up, and to know that it was going to be Hubster. My heart did that little skip of a beat. The girls knew right away that Daddy was on the phone. They were both all over me telling me that they were wanting to talk to Daddy. I had to chase down KG. She had the phone and went and hid in her cottage. She told me to shut the door that she was on the phone.

I was thinking today about how I react when I hear Hubster's voice on the phone. How that it instantly brightens my day. It makes every thing better. That there is nothing that I can't do. I don't know if he realizes how important he is to me. I get my strength through him. He is my motivation to keep going. Here I go getting all sappy again. I'm just ready for him to be home. Just knowing that he supports me and loves me unconditionally is wonderful.

Sigh...

I don't even know where to begin. Do I start with the news I saw today? Do I start with the horrible afternoon with my Mother? I just want to go to hibernate and come out when this deployment is over.

BG accidentally hit me in the jaw. The jaw that had the tooth pulled. Oh how it hurt. The girls were into every thing, and I mean every thing. KG dumped out a whole bottle of salt. BG dumped out the cat food yet again. I try my best to keep them upstairs. That way the downstairs stays clean. That meant that I vacuumed the upstairs 4 different times. I was fixing the girls lunch when I turned around to see KG standing on top of the stove. She was fixing herself lunch. She knows how to operate the microwave. The girl is 2. I'm just glad that the stove wasn't hot.

Portion removed for now.

I want to move, but not knowing what is going on with Hubster puts a damper on that. I have no idea what is going to happen with him, and I don't want to get into a place where all I have to do is move to another city. It just isn't pretty. I'm really at a loss.

The boys are doing good though. I think. Maybe they aren't. I'm feeling inadequate where they are concerned. I don't know if I'm doing a good job with them. Every time I turn around I think or I hear, "They wouldn't do that if Daddy was home." I know that. I'm just getting beat down with it.

On a happy note though. If you didn't watch Shaun White in the halfpipe, try to find it on Youtube. Oh my goodness, that was awesome.

Ahhh, It's Tuesday...

and I found out today that my kid free weekend is not going to happen tonight. UGH! What can you say? I knew that something was nagging at me about the date, and then tonight I realized what it was. There is a big fundraiser at the school. My mom is required to attend, and it is a kid free zone. Again, UGH! I'm ready to give up.

Monday we cleaned house all day. It was so much fun, but at least it is clean. I also made dental appointments for all 4 kids. They go next Monday for their initial appointment. I'm sure that will be loads of fun with all 4 of them.

I had to go to the dentist today because of a terrible toothache. She ended up pulling it. I was afraid it was going to cost me a pure fortune, but it was only $16. My jaw though is hurting like the dickens tonight. Along with what feels like fire inside my mouth. The same thing happened when my wisdom teeth were pulled.

I finally got to chat with Hubster today. He texted me just as I was getting ready to sit in the dentist chair, so I didn't get to chat long. Told him I was getting ready to have a tooth pulled, and that I had to go. He ended up texting me again around noon to make sure that I was okay.

Going to get my hair done on Friday. I can't wait. I also have an appointment with a weight loss place on Friday afternoon. Their concept sounds interesting, so I will hear what they have to say.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

As happy as it can be with my husband halfway around the world.

The kids had a wonderful day on Friday. They all enjoyed the 12.5 inches of snow that had fallen. That is the most ever in a 24 hour time period. We still have some on the ground. We were going to go out and eat for my birthday on Friday with my parents, and then my aunt and uncle called to see if my parents wanted to go out to eat with them. What am I supposed to say? Sure, no problem. I will just stay home with the kids. That was okay because I ended up falling asleep around 845, and my kids all slept in till 845 the next morning. I guess I needed the sleep.

Saturday I took the kids to get new shoes. They all needed them, and thankfully Kohl's was having a huge shoe sale. I got the girls 2 pairs of shoes each, KB 2 pairs of shoes, and TB the shoes he has been begging for, but I have kept telling him no because they are expensive. I ended up with $30 in Kohl's cash. Too bad that I hate all of the kids Easter dresses there. They don't have any thing that is cute. I did end up with 2 shirts for myself. Yes, I actually bought myself something. Saturday night we had a Sunday school Valentine's party. I ended up with a "date". Her name was Karen. Her husband is an over the road truck driver, and he wasn't there either. We even had our picture taken together. It was really fun. Hubster would have loved it. The picture above is what Hubster got me for my birthday. It is the world famous plaque that I griped so much about. It is pretty, but it is not something that I would normally get. I'm not a knick knack person.

Today has been rough. It started off okay, but I was sitting in Sunday school class this morning when a migraine hit with a ferociousness. I ended up having to leave. I was in tears by the time I made it back to the car. That meant I missed not only SS but also church this morning and tonight. Hubster sent me some gorgeous tulips for Valentine's Day. They are beautiful, and I prefer them to the standard roses that most people get. I like that what he chose. I've gotten where I put the flowers he sends on my dresser. That way they are the last thing I see before I got to sleep, and the first thing i see in the morning. They also make my room smell so good. Because my head was hurting so bad this morning, I came home and took a nap. This caused me to miss Hubster online. He told me that whatever they are doing has caused them to have very limited Internet and forget about phone calls. I haven't actually spoken to him since the 4th. I just tell myself keep plugging away because we are getting towards the end. I got my first email from the ombudsman today with some end info. It is starting to feel like it is really going to end.

Hubster, I miss you, and I love you. I'm ready for you to be home. Words can not begin to express how I feel.

Snow Day!

Why do you ask? It is because we got 12.5 inches of snow yesterday. It is the most snow ever in a 24 hour period. They called off school for today. The boys were lucky though. The teachers were taking the kids outside to play in the snow every couple of hours at school. That usually doesn't happen. They had so much fun. The snow is magical. Even my mom, who is a grouchy soul, loved the snow. It does look like a magical wonderland. The nice thing is that it doesn't feel bitterly cold outside. I will try and post some pictures on here when I can.

All of the kids are still doing good. KG has laryngitis. She sounds terrible when she talks, or I should say when she tries to talk.

I was thinking yesterday about how incredibly close we are getting to the end. It finally feels like we are getting there. I'm ready for it to be over. I also over the last few days realized that I just don't belong. My life changed dramatically three years ago. What used to interest me the last deployment no longer does. The change has made me a 100 times happier. I am happier today in my marriage than I have ever been before. I'm by far the luckiest woman alive.

Thursday Already...

I can't believe it is already Thursday. This week is flying by, and I'm so glad that it is. That just means that we are that much closer to Hubster being home. I'm ready to see him. It was nice to wake up this morning to an email from him. One that wasn't a reply to something that I sent, but one that he sent on his own.

We got 2 inches of snow last night, but the kids are still going to school. I'm happy about that. I would prefer them to be in school. They don't need to have days off. It is cold though. I'm getting sick of the cold. It has been a long time, since I can remember it being this cold. It also has been extremely wet. It is supposed to keep snowing all day today. I can't even remember when we have had this much snow. I'm sure my Pennsylvania friends laugh at this. One of them was saying that the snow in her backyard hits her at her hips. That is A LOT of snow.

KG has been calling everybody Honey lately. She told me the other day that she needed a haircut honey. It is really adorable. BG has cut another tooth, so we are up to 4. I can hear her in her bed playing right now. I'm just going to let her play for a little bit more.

I have a Sunday School outing on Saturday evening. I've been doing my homework for Sunday school. Church last night was good as always. Still trying to get used to our new worship leader. Sunday morning services though with the choir have been amazing. He is doing an amazing job with them.

The boys are doing good. We are working on their science fair projects. TB's looks to be doing good. He is taking pictures of it every day to note the progress in the corrosion. Wish Hubster was here to handle that.

He Didn't Allow the Money to Burn...

a hole in his pocket. KB had birthday money that he just had to spend. What did he want? He wanted me to take him to a pawn shop, so that he could get an electric guitar. I took him yesterday, and he got one. Now, I just have to get him lessons.

I don't know what is wrong with BG, but she is a bear. She woke up last night and screamed for over an hour. This morning she wants me to do nothing but hold her. Other wise she cries. She is sitting in my lap now pushing buttons. I'm wondering if her mouth is bothering her.

I got our income taxes filed yesterday. It made me sick knowing how much less money we made. At least I do know that we are okay since all the bills are paid.

I'm so tired this morning from not sleeping last night. That I' really hoping that both girls will take a nap today because I want one. I'm pooped. Me not sleeping again is getting old.

Okay...

All of that uproar over the Tim Tebow ad, and I'm trying to figure out why. I was waiting for this ad that was horrific and horrible and just demeaning. I didn't see any of that. If I hadn't known that this was a "pro-life" ad, I wouldn't have known what it was for. I would have thought it was an ad for Focus on the Family. Which I already know what kind of group they are as do most people.

I was able to chat online with Hubster during most of the Superbowl. He was only interested in the commercials, so he was on youtube and hulu watching them as they finished. I think the KGB Sumo was my favorite one. I laughed at that one.

The kids have really tested my patience today. TB made a huge mess in the kitchen. Then the girls were just downright cranky. My family room is still a total disaster from yesterday. Going to get that cleaned up tomorrow. That is on top of TB not making it to church this morning because he couldn't find his shoes. Then my parents took him to breakfast at Cracker Barrel. I told them that they shouldn't have taken him. He didn't deserve to go. We got TB's science fair project started. I hope it actually turns out. He is going to take pictures of it every day to show the progress.

Sunday school and church today was wonderful. Our Sunday School teacher gave us homework. I really love how Sunday school seems to be more interactive now. We are studying about David, and it just started. Looks like it is going to be an amazing subject along with the Church Alive series that pastor is preaching on. Church is just great right now. I'm glad that at least Hubster is getting the sermons.

I'm just now starting to get a headache today. Took some Excedrin. The medicine that my doctor has me on for my blood pressure has a diuretic in it also. This is pulling off the water, but it is also making me cramp up in my stomach and legs at night. It really does hurt. I'm trying to be conscience of the fact that I'm supposed to be eating more fruits and vegetables. I'm really, really trying my best.

It is my job around here to fix meals. Tomorrow we are going to be having this. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/02/drip-beef-two-ways/
I can't wait to fix it. It looks fantastic. I can't wait to try it. I love that website. I've tried a bunch of foods on her sight. I keep telling Hubster that I want her cookbook. He ordered me one for Christmas. It was just the wrong one. It was the thought that counts.

Hubster Informed Me...

that I haven't blogged in a while, and he was wanting to know when I would update the blog. I've been busy and sick. I will do my best to remember every thing that has happened.

Thursday was my birthday. Hubster sent me flowers that were so pretty. My SIL ordered a cake for me to pick up and sent the money via Western Union to pay for it. I thought that was so sweet. Normally the person gets to pick out where they want to eat for supper or at the very least what we are having. My mom ended up fixing potato soup, and I didn't even eat supper. I felt so bad, that it didn't really matter any way. I had a horrible headache, and I was trying to finish getting ready for KB's sleepover. I did end up going and buying a 42 inch lcd tv. I decided that we needed to make it out of the stone age. I also got KB Rockband 2 for his birthday. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was wanting to play with it myself.

Yesterday Nita came to visit with her two girls. KB ended up with 5 boys coming over to stay the night. I had 9 kids by myself last night, and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised with how well they were behaved. They didn't start arguing with each other till this morning around 9. The kids had pizza. We made popcorn with the popcorn maker that Southwest Airlines gave all of the Seabee families. The kids watched a couple of movies and played Wii. I think every body had a good time. At least that is what they told me when they came into my room at 1 AM. KB did tell me it was his best birthday ever. I guess that is saying something.

Today was just grocery shopping day. Nothing exciting about that. I did get the girls some pants and shirts for $1.30 a piece on base. They are super cute, and I never thought I would see the day that KG would wear a 4t. I can't believe my baby is going to be 3 in a little over a month.

Has it Really Been 2 days...

since I last blogged. It seems like it has been longer than that. There really isn't much going on around here. Yesterday I had an OB appointment and had to register the van. I was at the OB for 2 hours. I wasn't expecting a full exam. Boy was I wrong. She had to make sure every thing was where it was supposed to be. She came into the room and just sat and talked to me for a good 15 minutes. She was saying that she was having a terrible day, and it was nice just to sit and talk. She really is great. After that it was on to the tax office to get tags. I was impressed that I was in there for only 30 minutes. There were a lot of people in there, and they were moving pretty fast. I got that taken care of which is the most important thing. Now, I just have to get it fixed.

We are already at Wednesday which is church night for us. I'm looking forward to church. I love going to church. It refreshes me and prepares me for the rest of the week. People should really try it. I think they would like it. There are so many misconceptions about it. I also know that there are people that don't have a church like mine where people are so friendly.

Other than that not much going on here. Just trudging through each day. Missing Hubster. Ready for him to be home only then to worry about what he is going to do.

We are still waiting on 2 different w2s in order to file our income taxes. They need to hurry up and get here. I'm ready to plan our vacation.

My nephew found out yesterday that his fiancee, or whatever she is, is due on September 7. He got to see the sonogram and heartbeat with her yesterday. He was happy. His mom was not.

I have lots to do today and some bills to go pay. I love paying bills. It is my favorite activity in the world. It ranks up there with going to the doctor.

The Weekend

Friday we found out that KB made it to district in speech. My mom was telling me that they announced it after flag ceremony at school. He was jumping up and down because he was so excited. I wish I could have seen him.

Saturday my aunt and uncle came over. My uncle was taking the boys for the afternoon. He took them to Main Event to bowl and play video games. They had so much fun. My aunt went with my mom and me to JC Penny's to get the baby shower gift and to eat some lunch at TGIFridays. We asked them if they wanted to stay for supper, so we had an impromptu birthday party for KB's birthday. It was fun.

Yesterday was another Seabee wife's baby shower. It was allot of fun. We did make it not only to the early service at church but Sunday School. I'm really enjoying our Sunday school class. I can't wait for Hubster to get home to enjoy it with me. I'm sure he will.

Hubster was telling me that he got me a painting for my birthday, and I acted like a spoiled brat when he told me. Last night I felt like a terrible person. I was disappointed in myself. I was complaining to the other wives at the party, and I shouldn't have. That was not right of me. By the time I got home, I felt about 2 inches tall. I had to send him an email apologizing for every thing including the talking about his choice of gifts. He had heard me say that I liked something, so when he found it where he was it he got it. I should love it for just that reason. That he remembered me saying that I liked something. Now, I'm going to cry all over again. I really still feel terrible about it. My marriage is much more important to me than a stupid gift. I wouldn't do any thing to ruin that.

I woke up with a headache this morning. I'm so tired of waking up with them. I just want them to stop. I really don't know how much more of the headaches I can take. I can feel the knots in my shoulders and neck. I don't know if that is part of the problem or not.

We also made it through another month. Very excited about that. We can officially say another month has bitten the dust, and February is a short month. Woo Hoo!