But I need it. Today has just been. It hasn't been bad. It hasn't been good. It has just been. How else do you describe it? I'm on the verge of tears. I just want to be moved, and it seems that every thing that I do isn't good enough.
I'm down on myself because I had gained a pound. I am down on myself because I feel like I'm a terrible mom. The boys are struggling in school. The girls are into everything. I can't get any thing done that I need to. I have been trying to pack, and the girls are emptying the boxes as fast as i am putting things in them. The stress of this move is going to do me in.
Hubster is staying at his location. I am very happy about that. The only thing is that they don't have a post office or PX. I know this sounds weird, but when I hear other wives talking about getting letters and cards and things sent to them, it makes me sad. I know that I won't get any thing like that. I will never receive an envelope with the word free in the place of the stamp. It isn't his fault, and I will never ever blame him for it. It is just one of those irrational things that I have no control over that makes me sad. I enjoyed getting things from him during the last deployment. He would send me letters in blue envelopes. You have no idea how wonderful those letters are to receive. It was always fun going to the mailbox every day hoping to see a blue envelope or a box at the front door waiting for me. I should be happy that I get to chat online with him almost every single day. I should be happy that I get to see him via Skype once or twice a week. I just need to have myself a very short pity party, and then get over it.
Hubster, I know you read this, and please understand that this has nothing what so ever to do with you. It is the situation. You are absolutely amazing, and I wouldn't trade the world for you. Now, you know you can still send me letters via email. That is always a nice surprise to get. I love your emails. Hugs and kisses, and I miss you bunches.
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