The End of Another Month...

I realized today that Hubster has been gone for nearly 6 months. That seems like such a long time to be away from home. It is a long time to be away from home. I miss him terribly. I miss cuddling up to him. I miss the smell of him. I just flat out miss him.

He has to have a root canal tomorrow. That sounds like loads of fun to me. I hope it all goes well tomorrow.

The boys gave me their Christmas lists. I'm going to research to see where I can find the best buys tomorrow. I would like to get as much done as possible. I've got some of the girl's shopping done. That is what I have on the agenda for Seabee Wife Day Out tomorrow. I changed my days from Monday to Tuesday for the month of December. It seems that every Monday that I have something going on that includes the girls, so I changed it to Tuesday.

Getting ready for the inlaws visit that starts on Thursday. I can't wait to see their faces.

I'm very tired tonight. I'm going to go and veg out on my bed and do my research. Ready to get through Christmas. Then hopefully we will be on the down hill swing.

Also found out last night and today that the email that I sent out requesting help was never received. No wonder people didn't reply. Nobody knew about it. That made me feel better. I have resent out the requests. Let me see if something comes from this.

Finally Done...

Hubster climbed a mountain today. He said that the guys told them to go change clothes and come on. He looks so good. I miss him.

We have finally finished moving. We have gotten all of our things out of the house. All I have left to do over there is to drop off my keys and garage door openers. The carpet guys are coming on Monday to clean the carpets, and then I'm done. WOOOO HOOOO! I hate moving. I told Hubster that I wasn't moving again until he got home. He has missed the fun two times now.

I have no idea what is wrong with BG, but she has been a bear the last couple of days. She is not her usual happy self. She is cranky. Her nose is awful. If she still feels bad on Monday, she is going to the doctor. I can't have her sick next week. KG was so happy when her cottage and kitchen showed up in her room. She is actually sleeping in her cottage right now.

Happy Turkey Day!

I hope that everybody had a Happy Turkey Day! We have made it through our first major holiday. We made it through in one piece. We didn't really even do very much except go to my house and pack every single thing up. Every thing is now in one room plus the garage in piles.

I got to talk to Hubster on the phone. It is always so nice to hear his voice. I miss him so much. I just want him home. The kids are missing him.

The Day Before Thanksgiving

Today I received flowers from Hubster for Thanksgiving. The vase was so pretty. The flowers I hope will bloom tomorrow.

I baked 4 pies today. Then I went and packed up all but 3 rooms of my house. I moved the boxes to one room. That way it will be easy to move them come Thursday or Friday.

I saw Hubster on Skype today. He told me I looked miserable, and that I didn't look happy. I wonder why. He is half a world away. Something happened with the leadership that irritated me to no end. He knows what it is because I talked to him about it. I let him know my feelings on the subject. I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to shut myself off emotionally from EVERYBODY. I have to catch myself sometimes shutting out Hubster to avoid any emotion at all. This week has been hard on me.

My Bubble was Burst...

The XO sent out an email about an incident involving 3 of our Seabees. It made me ill reading it. Up until now, I have been able to put them in a safe place. That all came crashing down. It doesn't matter where they are at, not a one of them are really safe. Any thing can happen at any time. I was just trying to put this bubble around them. That bubble was burst. Thank God the 3 are fine. They are waiting to recover full enough to go back.

In other news, I got my first gift card from Sears today for their Hero's at Home. I figured that the amount would be small if I even got one. It was for $100. I was happy with that. I couldn't believe it, and then I got another email from them telling me that I should be receiving another gift card around the 21st of December. The amount will depend on how much money is donated to the fund by Sears shoppers. It was a wonderful surprise. I'm glad that I stumbled across the program before it was too late.

I'm Wondering if this is going to be a Two Fer Day...

But I desperately need to find my happy place. I'm irritated. I'm angry, and I'm fed up. I'm wondering if I blog about it if it will make it better. It certainly can't hurt because the anger is eating at me.

I'm at the point where I'm not asking for any more help. I've asked for help 2 times and now 3. Not once has any body helped except my sweet aunt. She is going to come and stay with me the day after surgery. I'm fed up. I don't ask for help hardly ever, and I won't be again. I would rather rely on myself than on any body or any thing.

I'm tired of feeling like I am the only one whose life is on freaking hold. Then to not know what is going to happen when Hubster gets home is driving me insane. I want answers. I want to have some clue as to what I need to do. What plans I can make.

I'm tired of being disappointed in people. I'm still having issues with the disappointment in people at church. I'm back to that place where I don't want to go. I don't want any thing to do with our Sunday school class. How sad is that? Satan is hammering at me again.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm one of an unique group of people whose lives are effected by these wars. Unless you have a family member over there, it doesn't even effect you. You just go on with your lives like every thing is the same. There is no sacrifice on the parts of the American people. The only people right now who are sacrificing anything at all is the soldiers, sailors, and their families. Everybody else doesn't have a freaking clue. (Well, maybe they kind of have a clue, but I'm just angry right now.) What has anybody given up besides the military families? I would love for somebody to tell me. Have you given up a holiday with your loved one, or two, or three, or even 20? Do you have any idea how hard it is to plaster a smile on your face when what you really want to do is crawl into a hole? We aren't even at the halfway point unless you count the training, and then we are just now there.

I will probably have somebody read this and tell me that I need to take it down. The thing is that I do feel some what better. I'm still angry, but at least I don't feel like I'm going to explode at the next person who dares ask me if I need any thing.

Monday, Oh Monday...

Let me count the ways I love you. The only thing I can think of is Seabee Wife Day, and today it wasn't even that. I still took the girl's to the sitter, but I took the boys to see Planet 51. It was a cute movie. We were going to go and see Blind Side, but KB was late getting back from the football stadium. That caused us to miss the showing of Blind Side.

Hubster finished up the kid's Christmas shopping from him today. I'm sure all of the kids will love their gifts from Daddy. He gave me a list of things that he is wanting. He is actually usually very easy to shop for.

I'm getting through my days. I can't believe this week is Thanksgiving. I've got to start my grocery list for tomorrow. I'm going to brave the commissary. That sounds like so much fun, but I the prices are cheaper up there. I figure it will be busy any where we go.

I got some Christmas shopping done...

Actually feel like I accomplished things today. Hubster ordered the girl's Christmas presents, and then I was online at JC Penny, I found the girl's Santa gifts for half the price I was expecting to pay. I also found KG's Christmas dress on sale. I was so excited. I got that ordered. Ordered two books for my brother online to be sent to him. Got to chat with Hubster today online while we were figuring out what to get the girls.

Church was good. We had our Thanksgiving banquet tonight. I couldn't tell you what the guest preacher talked about. We were to busy entertaining the girls. They were bored, and they wanted to play. I can't imagine why. *insert eye roll*

KB goes the the football stadium tomorrow, and TB and I are going to go see a movie. That is what he wanted to do. He wants to go to a theater that he gets to eat lunch at while watching the movie. He gets to choose, and that was his choice. I think we are seeing Planet 51.

Saturday...

The day before Sunday. The day before the most dreaded day of my week. What did we do today? I got 1 Christmas present for KG. A sparkly purse, that she was wanting while we were at JC Penny. I also got the girls a couple of out fits a piece. Then I came home and cooked for my company. One of the ladies from Sunday school came over to have supper with us. She seems to be very nice. I took a sleeping pill tonight, so I'm very tired. I'm fixing to head to bed.

I was talking with Hubster today, and I had to go. I hate having to say goodbye when he has a chance to talk. It always makes me feel so bad. I love you, Babe. I miss you. I hope that you had a good nights sleep.

It is 1 AM on Saturday...

but this is really Friday's post. I don't want to be accused of missing a day. We just got home from the football game. Our team lost, so they are now done until next year. It was a great run while it lasted.

I need to get KG into either dance or gymnastics. She loves to boogie, and she catches on so very fast. She was imitating the drill team and cheerleaders. BG was hilarious today. She has such attitude. She was banging a lid on the floor, and KG was yelling at her to stop. She looked straight at KG, said no, and then banged the lid louder.

The boys had MD Day at school. MD is a little girl that is 5. She had stomach cancer last year. She was in remission, and they found out about a month ago that the cancer that they thought was gone has now invaded her entire body. Today was a day to celebrate her. It breaks my heart. Her prognosis is dire. I do know though who can take away every bit of her cancer. God can do all things. I can't comprehend why a little 5 year old girl has to have this horrible disease. It breaks my heart because I know that can be one of my kids.

The boys are doing good. TB failed a vocab test. He did get 2 answers right on the whole test. He decided to put one word in every single blank. Guess that word was right 2 times. His teacher is going to give him a passing grade, but he has to write his vocab words 5 times each. The boys got out for Thanksgiving break this week. KB gets to go to the local NFL teams football stadium and play on the field on Monday thanks to his football coach's connections. That should be exciting. He is looking forward to it.

Today was rough for me. I'm on edge, and I'm dreading next week with a passion. I really hate this. I guess it would be a bad thing if I loved it though. I need to find out how many dozens of cookies I need for our Christmas party. I'm going to be having surgery on the 17th, and our party is on the 19th. I didn't plan on the surgery being at that time, or I wouldn't have volunteered. Instead, I think I will call a local bakery and see if they will bake the cookies for me. I just need to find out how many dozens I need. I doubt I will feel like making them on the 18th.

Love you Hubster. Hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for trying to make me feel better.

It is Thursday...

How is that for a title? Couldn't think of any thing. Let's see what did we do today.

I went to Sam's and Kroger. Then went to Old Navy because TB needed a pair of black pants and a white pullover for his band concert tonight. They were having an extra 50% off their clearance. I got TB 10 shirts. The most I spent on them was $3. I got the girls some clothes, and poor KB only ended up with one shirt. They didn't have any thing in his size that I liked. Tonight was TB's band concert. They have only been playing for 4 weeks, and I was pleasantly surprised about how well they did. The entire Fall Showcase ended up being better than I was expecting. I actually enjoyed it except for the rude people behind me that talked the entire time. My 1 and 2 year old behaved better than them. How rude and inconsiderate of them. If you want to to chat with your neighbor, get your butt up and go outside. What a wonderful thing to show our kids. Let's show them how inconsiderate you are. UGH!

We are going to another football game tomorrow night. I was noticing that it was calling for rain. Uh oh. Guess I need to make sure the umbrellas are packed up.

Didn't really get to chat very much with Hubster. He did find out that he got a passed not advanced yet again. I guess that cemented what he wants to do. Things happen for a reason, and I know that if he would have been advanced, that he wouldn't be doing what he really wants to do. I support him in whatever decision he makes. I love the crazy man. I miss him like crazy too.

What a Day...

Let's see what didn't go wrong today. I haven't been able to find my house keys for a few days. This is the old house. My landlord is coming to inspect the house tomorrow at 2. I was going to go and clean today. I start hunting for my garage door opener, and I can't find that either. My brother calls me tonight to tell me that he has my opener. I will see him on Wednesday, so I will get it back then. The only thing is that my house is a disaster. It needs to be packed and cleaned. UGH!

Second, the marshal from the town I used to live in pulled into our drive way. It seems that while I was in the hospital having BG, that the city came out and mowed our yard. This was in 2008. This was Hubster's job to take care of the yard. As you can see, I was slightly pregnant. I never received a bill for it, or I would have paid it. He was informing me that I had a warrant out for my arrest because of not mowing my lawn. He was nice enough to tell me that I could pay the $225 fine right now, and I wouldn't be arrested. Geesh, just what I wanted to do. Thankfully I had the money. I paid my fine. Then I go to look at my bank account to see that they took it out 2 times. Just one more thing to pile on. At this point, all I could do was cry. What else in the world can possibly go wrong?

The kids are doing good. KG is getting so independent. I can't believe how independent she is getting. She dressed herself today. She put her shirt on inside out, but that is okay. She wouldn't let me change her. There are some things that just aren't worth the fight. Plus it fosters her independence. BG is a riot with her attitude. I love it. I got tickled today at BG and KG. BG was picking on KG, and KG just hauled off and hit her. I laughed in the other room. BG just hollered at her to stop. The boys are doing fine. TB has his first band recital tomorrow. I'm going to buy myself some ear plugs. Oh, how I love my children.

Church was good tonight. You could feel the sadness in the air with all of the deaths that the church has been experiencing over the last few months. He announced the line up for our revival at the end of December. I love all the guys preaching that I know. Plus one of the guys that usually only preaches once is going to preach twice. I can't wait to hear him. Then Anthony Evans is coming to sing in December also. He is absolutely amazing. November and December should be good.

The Long Day...

Is this day ever going to end? I mean really. Is it ever going to end?

The kids are all doing good. TB is a pain when it comes to doing his homework, BUT he brought home a progress report today. He is PASSING all of his subjects. We are very proud.

I got a few more boxes unpacked today. Tomorrow I'm going to my house to pack and move some things. I probably can't go until after lunch though. The cable people are coming to install the internet and cable. Looking forward to having wireless, so that I can sit on my bed and do this.

I got to talk to Hubster today via Skype. I should say I got to see him. I couldn't find my microphone, so we typed. He wanted to see my hair. He liked it. He was glad that I didn't cut it a lot, and he even liked the color. He is looking good. He is losing weight, and you can tell it. I can't believe how different he looks.

My MIL sent me her flight schedule today. I can't wait for the kids to see their surprise. They are going to be so excited that Grandma and Aunt Candy are coming for a visit.

Today though has been rough, and I can't put my finger on why. I cried when I saw Hubster on Skype. He asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't even tell him why because I wasn't sure. I can feel myself pulling away again too. I have no desire to really talk to any body. I can feel the disappointment I have in people.

Tomorrow is the funeral of a church member who has 4 kids, and he was only 42. That is so sad. They don't know why he passed away. My heart breaks for J and her family. I've been praying for peace and comfort since we found out on Saturday.

Seabee Wife Day Out...

What did she do today? She did this...

I went from blond to red. I love it. Hubster hasn't seen a picture of it yet. I hope he likes it. The stylist also dyed my eyebrows to match. My mom noticed that first off. My eyebrows are usually blond and very light. I noticed that it made my eyes really stand out.

KB finally passed a spelling test. It had been a while. The boys are doing good. The girls are loving the house. BG finally figured out how to go up and down the stairs. Every body seems to be trudging along. My mom volunteered to take Wednesday off to help me pack up my house. I'm hoping to get every thing moved soon. I just want it done.

Nothing else much going on. We are just putting one foot in front of the other. Missing Hubster. Wishing he was home. Actually looking forward to the holidays.

Hubster, I love you Babe.

The Long Weekend...

Just glad that it is about over. I haven't had an internet connection, so I haven't posted. Tonight is going to be catch up.

Friday was playoff football for us. We went to watch our old high school team play Friday night. We won 35 to 21. They play again at the same place on Friday. We are planning on going again. I can't wait. We made it home about midnight. We found out that my nephew's fiancee is pregnant. The baby should be due sometimes in May. He is very happy. He should make a great daddy. I wasn't shocked at all. My mom cried when she found out that she was going to be a great-grandma. She was okay with it though. I don't think any body was especially surprised by this.

Saturday was moving day and football day for KB and me. We started moving about 8 that morning. KB, the girls, and I left at 10 AM for KB's football game. They lost the first game, but they won the second. That meant that we would be playing again on Sunday. We got home about 6 PM. They had moved my parent's house, but my house isn't done. The kids all love the house. That is good. The boys stay upstairs almost all of the time. KG loves it too. She was telling her Uncle L yesterday that he was a stinker and a toot. Then she hollers at him that she loves him. He thinks she is the cutest and sweetest thing. She is something else.

Today was KB's final football game. They ended up placing third. He was very quiet on the way home. We got a lot of things unpacked. I still have a lot to do. I'm happy though that things are getting done that need to be done. I just need to get my house taken care of. I think I will do a room each day until it is completely taken care of. I'm sure that I will get it all done in no time at all. Other than that, there isn't much going on. We have been busy trying to get moved and sports.

I'm Tired Tonight

This is going to be short and sweet. I'm tired. I hate moving. I despise moving. I really, really hate it. I'm ready to be done.

The kids are all doing good. I'm okay.

See, I told you this was short. I'm now going to bed. There is nothing to report from this end. Hubster knows I love him and miss him. We had a nice chat online today. Plus KG is still awake, and it is 11. She is tired. I need to get her in bed. I hope every one has a wonderful night.

Another Day. Another Dollar...

KG put on lipstick today. I told Hubster that it looked like she had a busted lip. She is so girlie. She also brought me some fingernail polish . She wanted her toes painted.

KB's class made Veteran's Day cards today for Hubster and me. Mainly they were for me, but I plan on sending them to Hubster. Some of them made me laugh, and some of them made me tear up. I'm going to have to do something special for his class. That was very sweet of them. I really enjoyed them.

TB went home with a friend of his after school. He was so excited. He had fun, and then he went to church with his friend. Glad that I am not the only one that thinks that church is important.

We are just about ready to move. We are moving every thing out into the garage tomorrow, so that way the carpet cleaners can come and clean the carpet Friday morning. My house isn't ready at all, but that is okay. I 'm thinking it really won't take all that long.

Got to chat online with Hubster for a few hours today. That was nice. He is doing good, but he was telling me that where he is at that they have a real bad problem with wild dogs. He was actually chased by a pack of them while he was driving a four wheeler to where he was working. I told him that was my worst nightmare. I don't like big dogs, and I would have probably screamed like a girl. Hubster was also saying that he found the prettiest rug that he would love to send home, but again, there is not any way for him to send things home to us. Maybe he can eventually figure out a way to get some things while he is at the market. He is pretty resourceful and smart. We were talking today about what he wants to do when he grows up. I'm hoping that eventually he will figure it out.

Church tonight was good. We had a special missionary that came in to show us what they are doing in the Ukraine. Hubster and I have talked before about how that we some times feel called to be missionaries, but that is a huge step. Every time I hear a missionary speak, I get that feeling that this is what we are supposed to be doing. I don't know. We really both felt a pull to Africa. I guess we really need to pray about it to see what God is wanting us to do. It is hard to let that control go, but I still think that this might be what we are supposed to do.

My friend that I posted about yesterday was released from the hospital with specific instructions that she was not to go to the hospital for 48 hours. Her little boy was doing better today. He was doing well enough that they were thinking he could be taken off the ventilator, and he might be moved to a regular room. Thank you God for those answered prayers. It was very touch and go there for a while.

Not much else going on. I'm trying to get things lined up for my surgery. I like to have all of my ducks in a row well in advance.

What a Day...

I have a friend whose 4 year old little boy is in the hospital due to complications of H1N1. He has a chest tube and is on a ventilator. My heart breaks for her. She has endured so much this year. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and now K is in the hospital herself with pneumonia. Her husband was killed in Iraq by an IED before E was born. She has endured so much. I just want to go and hug her and let her know that she isn't alone. God is in control of this, and I have faith that he will heal all 3 of them. He has already touched her mom's body by removing all of the masses and tumors from her body. He can certainly reach down and heal K and E.

We pretty much have my parent's house packed. I do have to pack up the room that I have been staying in. We have to move every thing into the garage. They are coming to clean the carpets on Friday at 1030, and then I will probably spend the rest of Friday at my house getting things done over there. I'm hoping that we will get that place packed and moved this weekend. I'm ready to be done. I hate moving, and I hate the fact that I'm going to have to do this again in March.

The kids are all fine. KG was standing at the computer today hollering Daddy at it. I guess she thought that would make him appear. She did finally get to see him. He called on Skype just so the girls could see him. The boys don't get to see him very often. There schedules are just totally opposite of his. He upset me a little today with something he did. I don't think he even realizes what he did, but if he would think about it, I think he could figure it out. Needless to say, my feelings were hurt.

I'm getting ready to go to bed. I took one of my depression meds because I could feel that creeping up on me. It knocks me out, and I'm pretty tired. I'm hoping to get lots done tomorrow. Maybe just maybe, we will actually be done with the move soon.

Don't Do It....

Don't go and see Men Who Stare at Goats. It was horrible. It wasn't funny. It portrayed American's and the US military as stupid blood thirsty people. I got up and left the movie early because I was disgusted with the whole thing. I should have asked for my money back.

The girls had a great time at Mrs. H's today. BG cried when I dropped her off, but when I picked her up today, she was laughing. I could hear her playing and jabbering to the other kids. The boys are doing okay. Still struggling with spelling. This is the last week of football for KB. Then we are free until January of sports. I'm looking forward to the break.

I found out today when my surgery will be. Looks like it is going to be a fun Christmas. I have a pre-op appointment on the 15th of December, and then the surgery is going to be December 17. It is supposed to be an in and out, and I will be home on the same day. That is a busy weekend for me though, and I'm hoping that I can pull every thing together that I need to. I have lots going on that weekend.

Not a very interesting day,

so I don't have much to say. We got up and went to Sunday School and church this morning. Then came home for a few hours and went to church this evening. Nothing of excitement happened. It was my regular Sunday. I'm not a fan of Sunday's right now except for the fact that they mean that we have finished another week.

Tomorrow is my Seabee Wife Day Out. No idea what I'm going to do. I'm thinking about going to see Men Who Stare at Goats, but I'm not sure yet. I will make a decision tomorrow I guess.

We did find out today that KB's team is doing the tournament instead of the playoffs, so that means that next weekend should be full of football. UGH! Next weekend is moving weekend. I'm just going to have to give everybody marching orders of what needs to go and what needs to go to storage. KB's first football game is at noon, so he will have to be there at 11. That means we have to leave at 1015. They are seated number 1.

Hubster, I love you. I miss you. I really do wish I could book an airline ticket to come and see you.

Saturday...What a fun day.

Really not much happened. KB had a football game. They lost 36 to 0, but the good thing was that the team scored all of their points in the first half. They looked like a totally different team during the second half. The girls had a ball playing while he was playing football. TB cracks us up because he is a mother hen watching over the girls. He can't hardly stand it.

The boys had a good time last night at the lock in at church. They had about 4 hours of sleep, so they are exhausted. As a matter of fact, it is 945 PM here, and all of my kids are asleep. I am fixing to head to bed myself. I am sleepy. Tomorrow is church day, and I'm hoping to make it to Sunday school and church. We are also hoping that we can start moving tomorrow too. I would like to at least get all of my beds over to the new house. I'm looking forward to the move. I think I'm going to enjoy having the entire upstairs to my family. I also plan on having the kids in bed by 830 for the girls and 9 for the boys. My parents told me that if I could get at least the girls in bed, that they would watch the kids while I ran to the gym. I really want to work out. I think I would feel a 100 times better. Hubster said that his 34 pants are starting to get too big for him. He had only lost 2 pounds, but he said that he is noticing a difference in his waist.

Hubster was also telling me that a local offered him 20 sheep and one of his sons as a trade for one of our girls. The local doesn't have any girls, and he was wanting a daughter. I find it humorous. All you ever hear about is the bad things going on. He seems to be enjoying his experience as much as you can when you are away from home. He has gotten to experience things that few Americans will ever get the chance or honor to experience.

I miss Hubster, and I dread tomorrow. I know that tomorrow is my hard day of the week. I'm just praying that it will fly by, since I am going to be so busy.

It is Still Friday,,,

I got home about 20 minutes ago from a GNO. We went and saw The Fourth Kind. It wasn't scary, but there were parts that it would make you jump. The movie had real live footage of things that can't be "explained". I thought it was a little way out there, and that the woman that was the psychiatrist was nuttier than a fruitcake. The movie was just strange. When Hubster gets home, we will have to go on a date to Studio Movie Grill. That was fun. I enjoyed that. The wives I went with are also a tad nuts, but they were a riot.

The boys are at church tonight for a lock in, and the girls went with Grandma and Grandpa to see Uncle G and Aunt Margie. Mom said the girls were wonderful and so well behaved. That was nice. I got home, and they were asleep. Which is where I am fixing to head.

Other than that, not much going on around here. We have a full day tomorrow. Hopefully I will get a chance to talk or chat with Hubster tomorrow.

Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting some More.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and now I am waiting for them to call me back with the surgery date. I am hoping it is sooner rather than later.

Yesterday was a fun day. I took the girls to the zoo with another Seabee wife and her little boy. KG loved the monkeys. We spent an hour watching the monkeys. She loved them. The day was beautiful, and it wasn't crowded. KG told me she wanted to ride the carousel, but as soon as I paid for it and put her on the horse she cried. That was a waste of money. We did ride the train that is in the zoo. I think I am going to buy a season pass with the next paycheck. It was a lot of fun, and I wouldn't mind taking the girls every week just to get us out of the house.

KB hurt his elbow because another little kid pushed him into the wall. The other kid was suspended. It was one of his "friends". The kid is a brat.

What happened in Ft. Hood yesterday, made my stomach turn. It makes me sick. Lot of prayers going out to the men and women at Ft. Hood.

Post in the Middle of the Day

But I need it. Today has just been. It hasn't been bad. It hasn't been good. It has just been. How else do you describe it? I'm on the verge of tears. I just want to be moved, and it seems that every thing that I do isn't good enough.

I'm down on myself because I had gained a pound. I am down on myself because I feel like I'm a terrible mom. The boys are struggling in school. The girls are into everything. I can't get any thing done that I need to. I have been trying to pack, and the girls are emptying the boxes as fast as i am putting things in them. The stress of this move is going to do me in.

Hubster is staying at his location. I am very happy about that. The only thing is that they don't have a post office or PX. I know this sounds weird, but when I hear other wives talking about getting letters and cards and things sent to them, it makes me sad. I know that I won't get any thing like that. I will never receive an envelope with the word free in the place of the stamp. It isn't his fault, and I will never ever blame him for it. It is just one of those irrational things that I have no control over that makes me sad. I enjoyed getting things from him during the last deployment. He would send me letters in blue envelopes. You have no idea how wonderful those letters are to receive. It was always fun going to the mailbox every day hoping to see a blue envelope or a box at the front door waiting for me. I should be happy that I get to chat online with him almost every single day. I should be happy that I get to see him via Skype once or twice a week. I just need to have myself a very short pity party, and then get over it.

Hubster, I know you read this, and please understand that this has nothing what so ever to do with you. It is the situation. You are absolutely amazing, and I wouldn't trade the world for you. Now, you know you can still send me letters via email. That is always a nice surprise to get. I love your emails. Hugs and kisses, and I miss you bunches.

Running a Day Behind

on my posts, but I have been so busy that I just don't even want to bother with this at night. I just want to go to bed. It has been a blah kind of week. I don't know what is going on, but it has just been blah. Nothing that I can really point to. We finished another month. Plus the month seemed to fly by. I have been able to chat online with Hubster every day. I just can't put my finger on it. I just know that I have been blah. Another Seabee Wife said yesterday that she needed a hug, and I will have to agree. I think that would do wonders. I just want to sit down and cry, but I don't feel that I have that right.

I haven't gotten a thing done as far as packing. I need to see if I can find some moving boxes. I wish that I could start moving some of the things now to the new place, but I have to wait. I would love to go ahead and move some of the things that are for sure going with me. It isn't like I am living in my house right now any way.

I went to the doctor yesterday. Still trying to get the surgery set up. I took the girls with me, and of all days that she had to deliver a baby, it was yesterday. I was chasing the girls all over the place. Needless to say my BP was a tad higher than she wanted, so I get to go back on Friday. I'm going to see if I can find somebody to watch them for me while I go. Plus she gave me another prescription. This is the reason I need to lose weight. I am the world's worst patient when it comes to taking meds. I forget them all the time.

TB's teacher had a talk with the principal. She just doesn't know what to do with him. He doesn't act like he cares at all any more. I don't know what to do make him understand how important that it is for him to do good in school. I can ground him and talk to him till I'm blue in the face, and nothing seems to work. I am at a loss. Plus he keeps telling me he is fat. Where he has heard that, I don't know. It makes me feel bad. He isn't fat. Yes, I watch what they eat. I don't want them to be fat like me. Did I do something to have that rub off on him? Maybe I really am the worst parent ever.

KB had 2 hours of football practice last night. One of his coaches that had walked away from the team came back. Maybe they still have a chance to grow up. I have just never understood why adults act that way at kids sporting events. KB is still struggling in school too. Plus him and his brother are fighting like crazy. I am really tired of it.

The girls are doing great. I was looking at pictures of them from last October, and I couldn't believe how much that they have changed in a year. It made me sad, but not sad enough to have another kid. I really am done. I feel done. No way do I want another kid.

This is Monday's post. Yes, I know it is Tuesday.

I really don't give a flying fig about that. Yesterday was Seabee Wife Day instead of calling it Mother's Day Out, that is what I have named it. It is usually a glorious day. I find myself 5 hours kid free. This week was different. I have figured out that I enjoy hanging out with other adults. I was lonely yesterday. I was lonely all day long, and it was even worse Monday night.

The day started off with me dropping off the girls at Ms. H's house. KG was hollering that she wanted out as soon as she saw whose house we were at. She wanted to go play. BG cried for all of 5 minutes, and then she played. I then ran to Target where I was trying to get ideas for Christmas. I decided to get a card to send to Hubster. I was crying while i was reading them. The lady that was stocking the cards kept looking at me funny. After I was done in Target, I went and had lunch at Don Pablo's. The fajitas were yummy. The highlight of my day was going grocery shopping at the commissary. That was fun, but at least now my kids won't starve to death. That plus I don't have to eat out as much. That cost way to much money. The girls were happy to see me when I picked them up.

KB didn't have football practice last night. They forgot about how dark it gets so early. He gets to have a 2 hour practice tonight. Oh joy. KB also had to have new shoes because his busted. TB has been telling me for weeks that he needs new shoes, so I told him to keep his shoe price under $40. He didn't want to listen, and he told me all of the shoes are ugly that are under $40. Guess who doesn't have a new pair of shoes. Totally lost it with him on the way home. He just hasn't learned about the filter between his brain and his mouth. I'm tired of the attitude and him telling me that he NEVER gets any thing. We are now going to go and volunteer some where, so that he can see just exactly how well he does have it. KB did end up with a new pair of shoes, and they were on sale for half price. TB is going to learn that when I say you have this amount to spend, that is what I mean.

Yesterday was rough for me. I don't know if it was something in the air or what the deal was. I was just very sad. I was also very lonely. I don't care how many people you are surrounded by, when the person that you love the most isn't here with you, then you are lonely. It seems to have been a common theme yesterday among the Seabee wives. I had quite a few tell me the exact same thing. I was trying to find a card to send to Hubster, and I was crying reading them. Because i wasn't at home most of the day, Hubster called me on my cell. Except that where he was at, they were having a hail storm. He couldn't hear, so he had to go. Then when he called back, I was checking out at the commissary. I had to go, and he never got a chance to call back.

I have an appointment today with the OB/GYN. Hoping that this means that we can finally get a surgery date set. Praying that the BP is okay. Plus my appointment is at noon. I hope the girls behave themselves. They are going with me. Otherwise I guess I need to go to my primary to see if there is something else that will work.

Another Month Down.

It seems like the month of October flew by. I really can't believe that it is over. I'm hoping that the rest of the time is going to be the same way. I really do.

Not much happened on Sunday except that I was informed that we will be moving on the 7th instead of the 14th. Wasn't expecting that. This means that I'm going to get to have lots of fun trying to get things packed. Thankfully I don't have to be out of my house until the 30th, so I can take my time doing that house.

The kids are doing good. Nothing exciting happened yesterday at all. It was a very ho hum kind of day. Went to Sunday school and to evening service. Didn't really talk to any body. I was a few minutes late walking into Sunday school, and somebody handed me a piece of paper and told me to fill it out with my name and phone number on it. I had no idea what I was signing up for. It is a way for our Sunday school class to get to know each other better, so I am now supposed to meet another couple for dinner or something before Dec. 6. I already feel a little awkward going to Sunday school when the other half of our couple is in the Middle East. Oh well, the couple that I got are new to the area, and he retired from the Marine corp. What are the odds?

Today is Monica's Day Out. Isn't my name of my day catchy? I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't have any body to meet. I think I like having somebody to meet better. I'm starting back on my diet today. I plan on being serious about it. I'm also going to start back to the gym. I have to do something. I don't like this blob that I have become. It is disheartening.