Thursday, January 21, 2010


I'm feeling a total disconnect from any thing and any one Seabee related. I don't have the desire to go to any thing to do with the Seabees. I don't want to know about any thing to do with the Seabees, and then when I do hear about it. I have an overwhelming sadness because of the fact I have no desire to be associated with it. Then I feel left out and that nobody cares because I don't hear from any body. I'm in a vicious cycle right now. It is actually a very sad and a very lonely life right now.
This also applies to other avenues of my life right now. This is what I was feeling when the desire to not go to church started up. I can feel that slowly seeping back into my life. So, I guess it is time to fight it with every fiber of my being.
KB got 3 conduct reports yesterday for not turning in work. The thing is that one of those he should have NEVER gotten. I signed that form and put it in his logbook last week, and I sent her a note telling his teacher that too. All she had to do was look at it. I will be so happy when he is out of 4th grade. His teacher was TB's teacher last year, and we had the exact same thing going on. The other 2 from yesterday, I don't understand why he was got them. He said that he accidentally left 1 spelling word off, so she gave him a conduct report. Then he didn't do a section of his math homework.
TB has to say 10 Bible verses for a grade today. I have already warned him that for each point that is below a 70 is one day that I get his DSi and no Wii. He has known about it for nearly 2 months, and he decided last night that he needs to study for it. Momma doesn't play that game. I was not very happy.
Church was good last night. Again though, I was feeling very disconnected. I'm pretty good about hiding it. Not many people will know how disconnected I am. I keep telling myself one day at a time and one step at a time, and that I will get through this. Now though I'm beginning to wonder if I will get through with my sanity still in tact. LOL.

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