All I can say is that I'm glad it is over....

I'm glad the weekend is over. I hate days like this, but having 2 days in a row like this over a weekend makes for a long weekend.

First off it started Friday with the van tire being flat. No big deal. All we have to do is to change the tire. I guess the van tires haven't been messed with in a while. We like to never got the tire off. The tire was ruined. Okay, now I'm going to have to buy a new tire. Deep breath, Seabee Wife, Deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. Second, the spare tire is put on. Except for one little itty bitty problem. One of the lugs won't tighten. This means no going any where very fast if at all. This also means that I know that I'm going to be stuck at home all weekend unless I can borrow a car. I can't do anything until payday. That is okay. I can always borrow a car. Usually not a big deal at all.

Saturday started off so well too. Woke up, and I got to see Hubster on Skype. All the kids got to talk to him. He actually looked good, and he didn't look tired. My mom asked me to take her to Kohl's. She had a migraine, but she wanted to run up there because they were having a sale. She didn't feel like driving. I had driven the van a couple of times on the road to get the kids from school. It seemed to be doing okay, but then it started to shimmy and shake. I did get to Kohl's and my mom bought be a pair of capris. I had dropped a size, and I didn't even realize it. Yay, me! Now, if I wouldn't eat like I did this weekend, it would be better. Got home, and I found out that my parent's were going out of town, so there went my plans for Saturday night. I was going to be stuck at home.

I just got overwhelmed with everything. I was missing Hubster so much. He is the one that deals with this. I'm with my children 24/7. I have somebody clinging to me pretty much all day long. I can't even eat supper without having to hold a child. She is Houdini. She gets out of her highchair and climbs onto the tray. It is not pleasant to eat a meal with an 1 year old screaming at the top of her lungs, so I hold her to keep the peace at the table.

I was/am feeling like the world is crashing down around me. I'm hoping and praying that the repairs won't cost me a whole lot because we have gone through our savings because of this deployment. Otherwise, I'm going to be what is knows as screwed. We had finally gotten caught up on everything. Between me losing my job last August, the birth of BG, Hubster losing his job in March, then there not being any work, things got behind. Then here comes the deployment.I have a list a mile long of tools that Hubster needs to be sent to him in order to do his job. I can't even send it till Thursday. I feel like the worst wife and mother ever.

I cried all night Saturday. I finally at 1130 PM thought I had a moment to myself, so I start my bath water. I get in, and here comes the 2 year old with no clothes on. She had heard me start the water, and she wanted a bath too. My 9 year old was having a break down because I couldn't hear him hollering for me. I thought everybody was asleep. I wanted 15 minutes to myself. I can't even get 15 minutes unless I'm asleep.

Woke up this morning knowing that I wasn't going to be able to go to church. I didn't have a way to go. That is usually my outlet. That is how I feel better. That is what gets me through till Wednesday. Didn't get that this go around. Hubster did IM me. I was hoping that he wouldn't call. I didn't want to sit on the phone with him and bawl. I knew that is what I would do. I cried the entire time we were texting. Today hasn't been any better.

I don't even know if this post will stay up. Today has been that day that I have felt like I can't turn to anybody. That I just need to suck it up, and that people have it far worse than me.

I know without a doubt that Hubster loves me. I know that I love Hubster, and right now, that is going to have to be enough.