Thank You God.

For finally having a good day. Even when I got the bill for $225 for my van to be fixed. Even though I know that come next pay day there is another bill for $216 for the rest of the repairs. I'm going to have faith that this is going to work itself out. Things could have been so much worse. God will provide, of that I have no doubt.

Went to church tonight. Pastor sure delivered a message. I love Wednesday night church services. He always seems to be on his A game on those nights. It is my night to recharge. His message tonight was on how close we are to the end times. You see prophecy unfolding before your eyes, and it is awe inspiring.

I haven't really talked about my faith on here. It is something that is an integral part of our lives. I love to go to church. I love everything about church. Satan has been really hammering at my faith this deployment, and I had a friend point out to me a couple of weeks ago, that last deployment we weren't going to church. Maybe I'm having a harder time this go around because Satan is really throwing everything at me. There have been nights where what I would really like to do is to have 3 or 4 drinks, but I know that won't solve anything. Instead I find that those nights are the nights, where I turn to prayer and to my Bible. Satan has me questioning friends and motives. He is trying to get me isolated. I know this in my head and heart, and I have to fight that. If satan can get me isolated, then he can destroy my faith. I can't and won't let that happen. 3 years ago, I would never have dreamed that we, the family, is at the spiritual place we are at. I was sitting in church tonight, and I realized that we have been going there for nearly 3 years. Wow, it seems like we just started going a few months ago. We have developed such close friends. They are amazing people.

BG isn't that one that got sick. TB did. I have no idea what is going on with him, but he doesn't have a voice. I'm not complaining though. Otherwise the kids are all doing good.

Got to talk to Hubster a couple of times today via Skype. I love that man so much. How did I get so lucky? He is such a wonderful husband and dad. I miss him so much, but he will be home one day soon. I've got the count down going, and I'm planning a trip just for the two of us. We used to go on a 3 night trip just the two of us when it was just the boys, and then life got in the way. We haven't been on a trip like that in a long time. You have to stay connected as a couple because one day your kids will be gone, and it will be just the two of you again. I know some people can't understand why our world doesn't revolve around our kids. Our world revolves around God, then us as a couple, and then our family. The last 3 years have been by far the best years of our marriage. Everything that we have faced over those 3 years have made us a stronger couple. I love you, Hubster. I am so proud of you, and I am proud to be your wife.

Is it Friday yet?

I had plans for Thursday, but they are getting scrapped. I don't have anybody to watch the kids for me, plus I think BG is getting sick. She woke up this morning with what I thought was an allergic reaction to something. She was running a low grade fever tonight. I just checked on her though, and she seems to be fine. Going to keep an eye on her, and if she is still running fever tomorrow, we are going to the doctor. Don't want to take any chances. The flu is running rampant through the kids at the boys school, so I want to be extra careful. It seems that both varieties are the culprits. My mom had 5 kids out of 14 out today with the flu and flu like symptoms.

I have to take the van in tomorrow to the shop. I'm praying that it isn't going to cost me a lot of money. Please don't let it cost me a lot of money. Please. Pretty please.

I went to the OB today. I was wanting to schedule my surgery, but I get to go back in 2 weeks. She wanted to know if I felt bad. My back was hurting a little. We find out that I have a very, very bad bladder/kidney infection. She gave me the strong stuff. We are not playing around with this. I have to go back in 2 weeks because my blood pressure was up also. As soon as the numbers are where she wants them, the surgery will be a go. I love Dr. M. She is absolutely the best doctor. I can't say enough nice things about her. They don't make dr's like her any more. Even though she is a couple of years older than me. She was wanting to know where her girls were. Uh, your office said not to bring them in. I will be taking them with me in a couple of weeks. It shouldn't take very long at the office. I was happy that I was in and out in under an hour. That includes the 20 minutes she sat and talked with me. She had to go through all of my pictures on my phone. She told me to tell Hubster hi, and that she was going to get me all fixed up. Have I mentioned how much I love Dr. M? I'm so glad that she takes Tricare Prime.

TB's progress report didn't look as good this week as it has in the past. I think it is carelessness on his part. I told him that I would give him $40 if he brought those grades up to A's and B's by the time report cards come home. He should be able to do it if he buckles down and works hard. That includes his handwriting grade. He got a 90 on last weeks grade. He can do it if he goes slowly and puts his mind to it. Told KB the same thing. If he gets those grades up to A's and B's, he would get $40 also.

KG took her diaper off and was throwing it at her brothers. I swear she acts just like her daddy. BG just has not been feeling all that well today.

Praying for a better week...

Today was much, much better than the weekend. Didn't get to talk to Hubster on the phone or internet, but I did get to see him via Skype and IM'ed with him. He didn't want to disturb the other guys in the common area, so there wasn't any talking with him.

Didn't really do much today. I called around to see about what it was going to cost to fix the van. I'm hoping that we are going to be closer to $100 than $300. I have to take it and drop it off on Thursday morning. I have an interview with a lady to watch the girls one or two days a week on Wednesday morning. She is only going to charge $5 per hour, and I was planning on doing something along the lines of a 9 - 2 or 230 type of deal. Found out her husband is a youth pastor, and I like that. I'm hoping that this might work out for me. Just a few hours a week where I'm not having to be "mom" would be wonderful. I'm also planning on starting back to school in January. I'm very excited about that. I should be able to be done in 2 years with a full degree.

I guess I got a lot accomplished. Now, I'm trying to find somebody to watch the girls for me on Thursday. I'm hoping that somebody will take pity on me and do it for me.

Hubster said all of the right things today. I needed to hear them, and I love him for it.

All I can say is that I'm glad it is over....

I'm glad the weekend is over. I hate days like this, but having 2 days in a row like this over a weekend makes for a long weekend.

First off it started Friday with the van tire being flat. No big deal. All we have to do is to change the tire. I guess the van tires haven't been messed with in a while. We like to never got the tire off. The tire was ruined. Okay, now I'm going to have to buy a new tire. Deep breath, Seabee Wife, Deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. Second, the spare tire is put on. Except for one little itty bitty problem. One of the lugs won't tighten. This means no going any where very fast if at all. This also means that I know that I'm going to be stuck at home all weekend unless I can borrow a car. I can't do anything until payday. That is okay. I can always borrow a car. Usually not a big deal at all.

Saturday started off so well too. Woke up, and I got to see Hubster on Skype. All the kids got to talk to him. He actually looked good, and he didn't look tired. My mom asked me to take her to Kohl's. She had a migraine, but she wanted to run up there because they were having a sale. She didn't feel like driving. I had driven the van a couple of times on the road to get the kids from school. It seemed to be doing okay, but then it started to shimmy and shake. I did get to Kohl's and my mom bought be a pair of capris. I had dropped a size, and I didn't even realize it. Yay, me! Now, if I wouldn't eat like I did this weekend, it would be better. Got home, and I found out that my parent's were going out of town, so there went my plans for Saturday night. I was going to be stuck at home.

I just got overwhelmed with everything. I was missing Hubster so much. He is the one that deals with this. I'm with my children 24/7. I have somebody clinging to me pretty much all day long. I can't even eat supper without having to hold a child. She is Houdini. She gets out of her highchair and climbs onto the tray. It is not pleasant to eat a meal with an 1 year old screaming at the top of her lungs, so I hold her to keep the peace at the table.

I was/am feeling like the world is crashing down around me. I'm hoping and praying that the repairs won't cost me a whole lot because we have gone through our savings because of this deployment. Otherwise, I'm going to be what is knows as screwed. We had finally gotten caught up on everything. Between me losing my job last August, the birth of BG, Hubster losing his job in March, then there not being any work, things got behind. Then here comes the deployment.I have a list a mile long of tools that Hubster needs to be sent to him in order to do his job. I can't even send it till Thursday. I feel like the worst wife and mother ever.

I cried all night Saturday. I finally at 1130 PM thought I had a moment to myself, so I start my bath water. I get in, and here comes the 2 year old with no clothes on. She had heard me start the water, and she wanted a bath too. My 9 year old was having a break down because I couldn't hear him hollering for me. I thought everybody was asleep. I wanted 15 minutes to myself. I can't even get 15 minutes unless I'm asleep.

Woke up this morning knowing that I wasn't going to be able to go to church. I didn't have a way to go. That is usually my outlet. That is how I feel better. That is what gets me through till Wednesday. Didn't get that this go around. Hubster did IM me. I was hoping that he wouldn't call. I didn't want to sit on the phone with him and bawl. I knew that is what I would do. I cried the entire time we were texting. Today hasn't been any better.

I don't even know if this post will stay up. Today has been that day that I have felt like I can't turn to anybody. That I just need to suck it up, and that people have it far worse than me.

I know without a doubt that Hubster loves me. I know that I love Hubster, and right now, that is going to have to be enough.

Another Day Down...

We made it through another day. I'm wishing the days would go by quicker than they are. They seem to be dragging. I think a lot of my problem is that I'm not working out of the house. My days are all the same. I do the same thing over and over and over. Nothing seems to change. It all stays the same. I've tried the getting out of the house, but that doesn't seem to be working out all that well for me. I need something to do besides dealing with my kids all day every day.

TB passed his spelling test with an 84. We are so proud of him. He actually has a B average this year so far, and he was told that he would never pass spelling with his dysgraphia. It is nice to know that we figured out what works for him, and that he has a teacher that works with him and us. KB is struggling in school. I hope that things are starting to turn around for him. He thought he did well on his spelling test today.

The girls got to see Hubster on Skype today. As soon as KG heard the ding, ding going off on the computer, she ran over to the laptop. She was hollering "Daddy, Daddy" over and over again. I got wonderful pictures of her kissing Daddy on the screen. BG was so excited. She was bouncing up and down on my lap. She just kept saying Dada, dada, dada. It was so cute. After about 20 minutes though they were done. That gave me a chance to see him and talk to him. We played a game of checkers. It was just nice to see him, and it has put me more at ease knowing that he looks good. He sounds good, but he said they are keeping him busy, busy, busy. Which are making the days blend together and go by quickly. That is good for him. I just hope they go by quickly for me too.

I'm getting the first care package ready to go. KB wrote his daddy a letter and drew him a picture. KG helped me write a letter. I wrote a letter, and she drew all over it. Oh well, it is something from the both of us.

No Title..

I've really haven't had much to say. Hubster has left US soil. The kids are doing okay. We are getting through this one day at a time. We are putting one foot in front of another. We are getting by as best we can.

BG learned how to take off her diaper this week. Oye is all I have to say. I have been trying to convince KG that she needs to be a big girl and start wearing panties. Her response, "Why?" Then it is I don't want to.

The boys are boys. KB has decided that football is fun, and that he is going to try his hardest now. Amazing what that did.

I've gotten to talk to Hubster every day, and he told me that is going to be coming to an end soon. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing. I don't care what people tell you, the not knowing is the worst. It allows your mind to imagine the worst. I will have to have faith though that he is in a safe place, and I know that he will do everything in his power to stay safe.

What a Busy Weekend.

I can't believe the weekend is already over. It flew by. Saturday was KB's first football game. KB is the kicker. He has never played football before this year. Needless to say he was extremely nervous. He was doing a little dance before they started. He was so nervous, that he barely kicked the ball. It was kind of funny. He didn't get to play again until the 2nd half when he kicked off again. This time it was much much better. He kicked the ball about 25 yards, and then he tackled the guy that had the ball. He got to play some on defense. They lost the game 40 to 0. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.

Saturday night we had a Sunday School class get together for Hubster's and our class. It was a fajita and swimming party. The kids had a ball, and I really enjoyed getting to talk to the people in our class. I haven't been going to Sunday School because I haven't been around much, but I'm also having a hard time dealing with it by myself. We got home late, but we did stay at our house.

Today was church day for us. We went to the early service, which starts at 830. Then we had Sunday school. Yes, I actually made it today. I'm glad that I did. Our class is really growing. I couldn't believe how many were there. After church, J and A took all 4 kids (yes, they are very brave.) home with them. The boys have talked nonstop about how much fun that they had with them. They went 4 wheeling and swimming. The boys were tired including A. Hmmm, I wonder if they still want 4 kids. Them taking the kids gave me the chance to do things that I wanted to do. I called my friend, to see if she would like me to bring her some lunch. Her mom has been in the hospital since Thursday, so I took her some lunch and sat up there with her for a couple of hours. I really enjoyed talking to her, and her mom was cracking me up. Had lunch by myself. I really enjoyed getting to eat without little kids asking me for this and that. After lunch, I went and saw Love Happens. It is a very cute movie. I don't think Hubster would like it, but I certainly did. Now, I'm sitting at my parent's house again. The girls fell asleep, so I'm just going to stay here. They were wiped out.

Trip to GP.

The girls and I got back from GP Wednesday night. We left Sunday morning to go see Hubster again. It was a wonderful trip. The boys didn't want to go. They said it would be to hard for them to catch up with their homework.

We really didn't do very much while we were there. It was just us spending time together as a family minus the boys. I really wish the boys would have gone, but I can understand why they didn't want to go. They have had a rough time, but they will get through this. They will be fine. We will be fine.

My Septemer 11 Post

This deserves a post all of its own.

I can still remember exactly what I was doing. My boys were only 1.5 and 3. The girls were not even a thought in my mind. My dad had called me early that morning to tell me that he was going to be dropping something off at our house. He needed me to meet him outside. I just happened to turn the tv on right after the first plane hit. I just remember sitting on my couch thinking oh my, that what was going on was just awful. Then I remember seeing that second plane hit the tower. Watching it slam into the side. Watching people jumping out of buildings. I sat on my couch and I cried. I didn't know how much that day would change our lives. I remember walking out to my dad's car to grab what he was bringing over and telling him that a second plane had just hit the other tower. That this wasn't an accident. This ISN'T a crime. This was an act of war. I had to be at work that day at 1. I was on the phone with my boss. She was running back and forth between our office and the electronics department, so that she could see what was going on tv. I was trying to see if I was going to be going into work that day. They told me to come in, but that the entire mall was going to be shutting down early. I got to work at 1, and the parking lot at the mall was eerily empty except for the few shoppers and the employees. Our phones didn't ring all day except for our families checking on us. I worked for a travel agency that was in a department store at that time. They decided to close our store at 6 PM that evening. Nobody was getting any work done. Everybody was still standing around the tvs in the electronics department. It was either a hush or whispers. Except for the one rude lady who came upstairs to the customer service department who was irate that the store was closing early. Thanks to our beloved store manager who told the woman to put back all of her stuff and get out of his store. That he cared more about his employees than he did her little bit of money. I remember going home and hugging my boys and Hubster a little tighter that night. I did have to go back to work the next day, but all we did was cancel trips and try and get people home. The stories that were told by our customers about the empty airports, and the woman who was at the Luxor who said that they sat in their room that day and watched the planes land one after another after another until the last one landed. The skies over Vegas were silent.

My husband had served in the Army for 3 years. The attacks were the catalyst that he needed to get back into the military. He signed up for the Navy Reserves on our anniversary, December 19, 2002. He struggled with the decision for a while. He was torn between Active Duty and Reserves. He had a wonderful reserve recruiter who actually called me to verify that I understood that it was never an if but a when would he be activated to serve our country. We went through our first deployment in 2005 and 2006. Now, we are working on our second, and already being told when the third is going to be.

I will never forget that day. Our family lives the reprecussions of that day everyday.

Headed back to GP one more time.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of getting to see Hubster one more time. I hate the fact that they are still Stateside. I was so irritated when I found out that they weren't leaving yet. I said my goodbyes last week. If Hubster hadn't called and asked us to come out, I wouldn't be going. I was torn as it was about rather or not to even go. I really can't wait to see him, but that means that I will have to say those goodbyes again. They leave me emotionaly drained. Maybe this time though, I will remember to take pictures of him.

KB has his first football game on Saturday. It is supposed to be raining. YAY! Nothing like having all of the kids by myself at a football game. I hope that he enjoys it. I really do.

I got to see my niece's senior pictures. She is so pretty. I didn't realize just how much that she looks like my dad's side of the family. She definetly has the family chin plus she has the same little curl on the exact same spot of her head that I do. I can't believe how much she has grown up. I'm so proud of her and her brothers. She was my excuse not to go to college.

TB is doing so good in school. We got his progress report, and he has all A's and B's except for the 70 in handwriting. Dysgraphia is going to cause his handwriting to always be horrible. I am so proud of him. He just doesn't know how much. He had such a hard time last year. This year is amazing.

KB started taking melatonin to try and help him sleep. It is an amazing difference. I don't know if the medicine is helping him think he is more tired than he is, or if it really does make that much of a difference. I just have him taking 1mg per night. He went from not falling asleep until after midnight to being asleep by 10. I'm thinking if I upped his intake another mg that he might even be asleep even earlier. His teacher has noticed an immediate difference. She said he is alot more perky and alert. He is also not as grouchy. Still having issues with getting him to eat, but we will get that worked out.

KG and BG are doing good too. They play so well together. I am so glad that they have adjusted so well with Daddy being gone. I guess it has more to do with their age. They don't understand what is going on, but they know that they can see their Daddy on the computer or even on my phone. They both will start hollering Daddy when my phone rings.

Would somebody please explain to me why kids sports must have practice on Wednesday nights? I just don't get it. We go to church on Wednesday nights and Sunday morning and evening. We actually enjoy going to church. KB's football team had practice on Wednesday because Monday was a holiday. Guess who didn't go to practice. I'm trying to teach my kids where their prioties should be. I know though that we are in the minority of church goers. I can tell that just by how many people show up for church on Wednesday.

Sigh

The weekend was long, and it felt like it would never end. I was happy to see the boys go back to school. It helps the girls get back into a routine without somebody (TB) interrupting their routine. We didn't really do much of anything except try and get the house clean. We didn't make much progress since I have 4 kids. They were making messes faster than I was cleaning. I did get 2 rooms rearranged though, and that helped with the cleaning. I still have some more to do, but I will have it done by the end of the week.

The weekend was rough emotionally too. I guess it is finally hitting home that this deployment is actually going to happen. Reality finally showed her face. The emotional roller coaster that I was on this weekend was amazing.

Saturday is KB's first official football game. Thankfully the weather is supposed to be decent. It shouldn't be too hot. I don't even know what time or even where his game is. I will have to find out.

The kids are all doing pretty good. KG has hit a growing spurt. I can't believe how much she grew over the summer. BG is enjoying being a toddler. TB is your typical 11 year old kid. Thankfully he is loving school this year. It makes my life so much easier. KB is still not sleeping, and we have to keep on him about him eating. He didn't go to sleep last night until after midnight. He ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup at 10 last night. He said he was hungry. I wasn't going to stop him from eating considering that he had eaten like a bird all day yesterday. We get to keep TB's class pet this weekend too. He is so excited. I just wonder what the girls are going to think about a guinea pig.

To the Hubster, if you are reading this. Know that you are very much loved. We all miss you terribly, and we can't wait for you to come home. Don't worry about us here. We will make it. We take one day at a time, and we put one foot in front of the other. Each day down, is one day closer to you coming home. We love you!

The Girls and I are home,

but I don't want to be. I would much prefer to be with the Hubster. Praying that the time apart will fly by. The boys needed me at home, and Hubster needs a little bit of time before boots leave US soil to get into his zone. He couldn't do that with us there.

BG turned 1 on Friday. How did we celebrate? 9 hour road trip home is how. Thankfully the girls are great travelers. Planning on having Bella's birthday cake either today or tomorrow. I can not believe that she is 1. How time flies. She got new ear holes for her birthday from her Daddy. How sweet is that?

The week that we got to stay with Hubster was wonderful. He was able to spend a good amount of time with us. I will forever be thankful for the last week. I just wish I didn't have to leave. I miss the man terribly.