What I've learned over the last 3 days...

I've actually learned some about myself. We had a Bible conference at church over the last 3 days. To those of you that aren't Baptist, that is called a revival. I hadn't ever heard it called that before we started going to church where we go. I learned that I enjoy going to church so much, that I believe that I could go every day. There is no other place I would rather be. There is nothing that I wouldn't rather be doing than sitting in God's house listening to His word. I figured out today that I could download sermons from some of my favorite preachers onto my phone. Who knew that would make me so happy?

Last year at this time I was really struggling with my faith. If you have been reading for any length of time, you will know this. I never made it into a big secret. I struggled. I struggled a lot. It wasn't pleasant. I was having a hard time making myself go to church, and the only thing that kept me going even semi-regularly were the kids. I could take church or leave it, and it was nothing more than Satan hammering at me that nobody cared about me. When nobody would ask me what I needed while Hubster was gone, I had this devil sitting on my shoulder telling me, "See, nobody cares about you." I felt so lost and alone, and then something changed right after the first of the year. It was actually at last year's Bible conference. It was then that I decided that I didn't want to be this lukewarm making every excuse in the book not to go to church. I always had an excuse. It was late. The kids needed to be in bed at a certain time. I was too tired. Nobody cared if I was there or not. The list went on and on. I always had an excuse. I decided then and there last year, that I was going to go to church. There would be no more excuses, and the most amazing thing happened. I became a happier person. I had a peace that passes all understanding even while Hubster was gone. I still sometimes get the nagging doubts about being liked or nobody caring, but it is nothing like it was. When those doubts start creeping in, I tell Satan to go away. I also wanted to be there. The more I went, the more I wanted to be there. I would go no matter what. I even went to church the day before Hubster was due home. I hate missing church now. We actually plan events around church, so we don't miss any days.

I see friends and family that used to be those regular church goers. They were there for every service. They never missed, and now some of them don't even go to church. It is such a slippery slope. It is so easy to say I will miss just Wednesday nights, but I'm still going on Sundays. Before you know it, you start missing those Sunday night services. It just gets easier and easier to make an excuse why not to go. Then you even stop making excuses. You just stop going. Believe me I've been there. I didn't go to church for nearly 15 years. We always had an excuse. Then it got to a point where it didn't matter. We didn't need an excuse any more. We just didn't go. It took 2 Sunday morning services listening to our now pastor to touch my heart. I knew that church was where I needed to be. It was where I wanted to be. That conviction that the Holy Spirit puts on you is something amazing to behold. It will bring you to your knees asking for forgiveness. We haven't missed but a few services in the past 4 years except for the time that I struggled while Hubster was away. I can say that since he has returned, we have missed at the most 5 services. We do every thing in our power to make sure that we are there sitting in our place.

I don't know why this post was laid on my heart, but I felt the need to share.