It was a Decent Weekend...

Saturday started out with Hubster attempting to bring me breakfast in bed. He had it made, and he was bringing it upstairs. I just happened to be headed downstairs though while he was headed upstairs with it. It is the thought that counts though. We ended up going to Sprouts and on base for grocery shopping. Shouldn't have to go back to the store for 2 weeks except for bread, milk, and eggs. I made sure to get enough food to last for 2 weeks. We have so much food that it wouldn't fit in our tiny pantry, so I was telling Hubster that we needed some shelves for the area underneath our stairs. We have a full size door to get under them. We had some book shelves that aren't being used, so he decided to clean it out and install the shelves for me. That led to him saying it is dark in there, so he installed a light. Now, I just need some more low shelves for the back that I can put some of our kitchen appliances that aren't used as often. I must say that I really do love them. I'm really loving my new "pantry". Now, I just need to finish loading the shelves with food and things.

I'm still struggling with the sadness as my birthday approaches. Don't have any idea what is wrong with me. I hope it goes away soon. Tomorrow night is Ladies Fellowship at church, and I'm hoping that I get to go. I need to figure out what to fix as my finger food though.

We were going to take a vacation with our tax return, but I think we have decided to use that money and purchase a travel trailer instead. That would last longer, and we all love to camp. I'm getting excited about this, and we hopefully can start looking soon for a trailer.

The Sadness is creeping in...

I can feel it over taking me today. One thing is that I'm lonely. Nobody to talk to all day. Then at night, I feel like I'm doing every thing myself without help. The kids have driven me crazy this week. TB got in trouble on Wednesday because he wouldn't let his grandma use his phone at school. I took the phone away from him for a week, and I thought I had handled the situation. I was telling Hubster what was going on, and he jumped down TB's throat. Then grounded him for 2 weeks. Guess my opinion doesn't make much of a difference on how to deal with the situation. That makes me feel oh so good. That same day I had to deal with KB and his school work yet again. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with school work not making it to his teacher. KB was supposed to have a sleepover tonight, but that got cancelled. It was for his birthday. I feel bad about having to do that, but he has to understand that his school work is important.

BG is in the midst of potty training. We are on week 2 of no diapers or pullups except at night. This hasn't been fun. She is about 50% there, and I'm sure we will get there sooner rather than later. The weather has been wonderful around here, and I put some shorts on KG. She has grown so much. She can't wear a 2T or even a 3T any more. I can't believe how big she is.

Next Friday is my birthday, and I'm not looking forward to it. I had told Hubster that I wanted a birthday party, but he hasn't done any thing (that I'm aware of) to get it together. I really shouldn't have to ask, but after last years debacle I figure I would rather ask. Now, I don't even want any thing done. Guess I'm not feeling the love right now from anybody. Feeling taken advantage of and frankly, like nobody cares. All I want is somebody to tell me that I'm doing a good job. I would love a thank you. I don't think I'm asking for to much, but I can tell you that I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS TOO LATE TO PLAN ANY THING, SO I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT IT.

Why is time flying by so fast?

It has been another week since my last post. Not much really going on here. Hubster is submitting his packet to see if he can go active duty in a support role. I'm fine with that. It is whatever he wants to do. He still likes his job, and he is working lots of hours. Last night he finally made it home at midnight. It made for a long day for him.

We were supposed to go to a friend's surprise birthday party on Friday night, but Hubster got stuck at work until nearly 10 PM. We had to bail on that one. Saturday night I met up with my regular Seabee wives for dinner and a movie. We went and saw Black Swan. It was a really good weird movie, and Natalie Portman deserves any honors that she gets. She does an amazing job in that movie. I want to see it again just so I can figure out what I might have missed. On Sunday, we went to church in the morning, and then Hubster and I went and saw Riverdance. It was really, really good. We really enjoyed the show.

The girls got in an argument this morning because BG said she wasn't a princess and that neither was KG. KG didn't take kindly to being told that she wasn't a princess. They really crack me up.

We are getting ready for my SIL's visit to our home the first week of February. We will know later this week if my nephew is coming with her. If he does, then she plans on staying longer than a few days. She also talked about bringing out MIL. I don't really care what they do. It doesn't matter to me. I'm okay with whichever they decide to do.

I've lost 85 pounds now since March. I'm so proud of that fact. I've worked hard to lose that amount. A friend of mine had the surgery yesterday, and she sent me a message this morning. Seems that yesterday was very rough on her. She had to be rushed to the ER because she couldn't breath. She had been throwing up all afternoon, and it had irritated her esophagus. They gave her an IV and some meds to make her esophagus quit spasming. She she felt better this morning even though she felt like she had been ran over by a train. I hope she is feeling better this afternoon.

I Love the USO

I'm a fan of the USO. They are an amazing group of people. We have used them numerous times when we have been at the airport. They are so friendly and helpful. Friday the USO where we are at put out a status message on their FB page announcing they had free hockey tickets for military personnel and their families. I happened to be online when this popped up, and I had an email sent off to them in less than a minute. I got an immediate response back that 4 tickets to the Friday night hockey game would be waiting at the platinum will call window. We had 4 seats in a suite. We took the boys, and we had a ball. It was the first hockey game that they had ever been to, and I might have hockey converts on my hands.

I lost 9 pounds last week, and that made me extremely happy. I worked hard at it. I started potty training BG today. I'm sick of diapers. I don't want to see another diaper ever. I love my babies, but I'm ready for them to be a it older.

What I've learned over the last 3 days...

I've actually learned some about myself. We had a Bible conference at church over the last 3 days. To those of you that aren't Baptist, that is called a revival. I hadn't ever heard it called that before we started going to church where we go. I learned that I enjoy going to church so much, that I believe that I could go every day. There is no other place I would rather be. There is nothing that I wouldn't rather be doing than sitting in God's house listening to His word. I figured out today that I could download sermons from some of my favorite preachers onto my phone. Who knew that would make me so happy?

Last year at this time I was really struggling with my faith. If you have been reading for any length of time, you will know this. I never made it into a big secret. I struggled. I struggled a lot. It wasn't pleasant. I was having a hard time making myself go to church, and the only thing that kept me going even semi-regularly were the kids. I could take church or leave it, and it was nothing more than Satan hammering at me that nobody cared about me. When nobody would ask me what I needed while Hubster was gone, I had this devil sitting on my shoulder telling me, "See, nobody cares about you." I felt so lost and alone, and then something changed right after the first of the year. It was actually at last year's Bible conference. It was then that I decided that I didn't want to be this lukewarm making every excuse in the book not to go to church. I always had an excuse. It was late. The kids needed to be in bed at a certain time. I was too tired. Nobody cared if I was there or not. The list went on and on. I always had an excuse. I decided then and there last year, that I was going to go to church. There would be no more excuses, and the most amazing thing happened. I became a happier person. I had a peace that passes all understanding even while Hubster was gone. I still sometimes get the nagging doubts about being liked or nobody caring, but it is nothing like it was. When those doubts start creeping in, I tell Satan to go away. I also wanted to be there. The more I went, the more I wanted to be there. I would go no matter what. I even went to church the day before Hubster was due home. I hate missing church now. We actually plan events around church, so we don't miss any days.

I see friends and family that used to be those regular church goers. They were there for every service. They never missed, and now some of them don't even go to church. It is such a slippery slope. It is so easy to say I will miss just Wednesday nights, but I'm still going on Sundays. Before you know it, you start missing those Sunday night services. It just gets easier and easier to make an excuse why not to go. Then you even stop making excuses. You just stop going. Believe me I've been there. I didn't go to church for nearly 15 years. We always had an excuse. Then it got to a point where it didn't matter. We didn't need an excuse any more. We just didn't go. It took 2 Sunday morning services listening to our now pastor to touch my heart. I knew that church was where I needed to be. It was where I wanted to be. That conviction that the Holy Spirit puts on you is something amazing to behold. It will bring you to your knees asking for forgiveness. We haven't missed but a few services in the past 4 years except for the time that I struggled while Hubster was away. I can say that since he has returned, we have missed at the most 5 services. We do every thing in our power to make sure that we are there sitting in our place.

I don't know why this post was laid on my heart, but I felt the need to share.

Happy New Year!

I can't believe that 2010 has come to an end. What a year it was. Last New Year's Eve was probably the most horrible New Year's Eve on record. The memory of that day is still vivid in my mind. Nothing like having a panic attack right at midnight. Thankfully that wasn't how my year ended up being. 2010 was actually a very kind year to my family. Even with every thing that happened towards the end.

April saw Hubster safely home from Iraq from his second deployment. August saw me through a surgery that has helped me lose 73 pounds so far. October brought us to Hubster losing his job at the end of the year. December brought Hubster a new job that so far he loves. It also brought us more money at his new job. It brought us my brother coming home after being away for 6.5 years. It has been so nice to have both of my brothers nearby. Even though they both can be a pain in my butt, I still love them. I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us.

Last night we had 3 couples come over for New Year's Eve. They were from my Sunday School class. Love spending time with an amazing group of people. We had some snack foods and played dominoes until after the New Year. We had so much fun. We laughed and laughed. I didn't get to invite every body that I would have liked to. We did end up with a houseful of people. We are really going to have to do that more often.

Tomorrow starts our church's annual Bible conference. I can't wait. I'm hoping it as good as it has been the last couple of years.