Loving My Seabee

Let me count the ways I love my children...

2012-02-09T10:25:00.001-06:00

First off they keep me laughing like no other. Nothing can crack me up faster than my kids. My daughters love helium filled mylar balloons. That is what they ask for when we go to the store. Not candy, not toys...mylar balloons. Last night we had to go to Target to pick up my prescription, and BG took her heart shaped Dora balloon with her. My girls like to use the clip that keeps these balloons from floating away as hair accessories. Picture a balloon floating 3 feet above a little blonde headed girls head that is clipped to her hair. We are leaving Target last night, and BG is running through the parking lot (I was with her. No cars were in the vicinity) yelling the monster is going to get me and cracking up laughing. She was pretending her balloon was the monster. I love these kids.

We went to eat supper last night, and I had memories lapses. Hubster told me that I kept putting chips into the hot sauce, but I don't remember doing any of that. It is scary. I looked down at one point, and I had 3 chips in the hot sauce. There isn't anything wrong though. Not a thing. It is all just migraines. I just want some answers that is all. I want to know what is going on.

Birthday Week

2012-02-08T17:43:00.001-06:00

Last week was my birthday week. Some people are lucky enough to get to have the whole week devoted just to them. I'm not one of them. My birthday was on Saturday. Hubster ordered me a cake and had 20 of our friends and family meet for my birthday at a local steak house. I ended up with lots of scrapbooking stuff and a new mountain bike. Now, I just need to have a place to ride it. My birthday was wonderful, and I loved having all of my friends and family there to celebrate it with me.

Last Wednesday was the first of 3 tests on my bladder. I swear I will never say that I have issues ever again even if I do. The test was awful. I had another test today, and that one I got an instant diagnosis of interstitial cystitis. At least I know that I'm not a complete hypochondriac or nut job and there is really something wrong. After a while as your body stops doing what it is supposed to be doing, you start to wonder if this is all in your head. I have the biopsy on my bladder next Wednesday, and they said we will go from there with a plan of action.

I had my MRI on my head last Thursday. Met the neurologist on Monday. I did NOT like him at all. He told me that I was there only to be told that nothing was seriously wrong and not for relief. Thankfully the MRI didn't show any abnormalities, but he can't explain the blackouts or the sharp pains in my head. Everything else he chalked up to migraines. You know the migraines I have had for 20 years, and that he refuses to treat. He told me that I haven't had a migraine long enough to be treated. Even though five weeks of headaches coming and going mostly coming aren't long enough. He refused to even prescribe migraine medicine for me. He did order a MRA to make sure that I don't have a slow bleed in my brain. I go for that on Thursday. I talked to my primary today about the neurologist. They couldn't believe he did that to me, so we came up with a new plan. I will go ahead with the MRA, and have the place fax them over a copy of the report also. On Monday, they will call and get me an appointment with a new neurologist that I have heard nothing but glowing things about. Here I was thinking I would want to change primary doctors. Not after this. They have been great advocates for me. At least I know that there isn't any masses in my brain. (I did see the copy of the MRI)

Other than the fact my body is falling apart, life around here has been pretty sweet. The kids are doing good. Hubster is still liking the job. I hate my college courses with a passion, and I've really struggled with them because of the headaches. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass in a few years. I just have to keep plugging along, and eventually I will get through this.

It was a great weekend...

2012-01-30T09:18:00.002-06:00

Friday was KB's birthday party. We had 3 boys come and spend the night. Hubster and I took them to see Red Tails, but just as the movie started the projector broke. We ended up with all of our money back plus 7 free tickets. They could never get the projector to work. We will go and see it another day. Hubster took the boys to play mini-golf instead. I sacrificed and stayed home while he took them. They seemed to have a great time. I know they did not go to sleep until around 530 on Saturday morning because I woke up to them being loud at that time. I'm thinking that KB's 12th birthday was a success.

Saturday I started the day off with coffee at a friend's house. She invited 3 of us over for some coffee sans kids. Can we all just say...SIGH how nice! It was a great way to start the morning. I came home to Hubster feeding all of the children waffles. (I knew that belgian waffle iron he got for Christmas was going to be a great idea.) We did not do anything on Saturday. We took KB out for dinner for his birthday with the family. We went to what used to be our favorite Mexican food place. We found out that the owner and his wife divorced two years ago. I think she might have been the driving force behind the place. The service was terrible. The food was luke warm if not cold, and it did not taste as good as it used to. We ended up with one meal free and 20% off the entire meal. Needless to say, I doubt we ever go back.

Yesterday we went to the little bitty town I grew up in for my great uncle's 90th birthday, my great aunt's 85th birthday, and their 65th wedding anniversary. I got to see my nephews and niece and my 3 great-niece's. I have a great-niece that is 16 months old that reminds me so much of BG. Her and I had a ball together. I told my nephew that he was in for a treat with her. We had a really great time seeing cousins we hadn't seen in years. I'm so glad that we got to go, and that I felt pretty good all weekend.

This week is shaping up to be lots of fun. I have to call and make doctor's appointments with my primary and my GYN. Will get that done sometimes today hopefully.

Happy Birthday, KB!!!!

2012-01-26T14:31:00.000-06:00

Today is KB's 12th birthday. I went to the school today and ate lunch with him per his request. Not very many 12 year old kids want to eat lunch with their parents. He also wanted a cookie cake, so I stopped and got him one. They had misspelled his name. Thankfully it was an easy fix. He has invited 4 boys over tomorrow night for a sleep over. Hubster and I are going to take them to see Red Tails. My parents are going to watch the girls for me while we take the boys to see the movie.

Not much to blog about. Life is not exciting. Still dealing with headaches that are horrible. Feeling inadequate because the headaches are so bad. The more I'm up and moving around, the worse they seem to get. I'm counting down the days until I can go to the doctor and get them to check me out.

Sigh

2012-01-19T21:20:00.001-06:00

I have been working on a headache of some sort for nearly every day for the past four weeks. Today has been horrible with how bad it will hurt, and then it lets up. I try to get as much done as I can while the head isn't pounding away like a sledge hammer is inside it. The headaches are strange. They are not a migraine because I can tell what a migraine is. This isn't it. These headaches come and go all day. I can be fine one minute and wincing with pain the next. I never know what symptoms might show with each headache. It can be anything from just pain to tingling in my face, clogged ear feeling, medicine head feeling, jumbled up thoughts, to blurry vision. All I know is that I'm starting to worry about them. They are effecting my life. Tuesday night my head was hurting enough that I couldn't concentrate. I was having a hard time with getting things to make sense to me. It was like my brain was jumbled up. It was not a pleasant experience, and it was down right scary. I refuse to drive out of town by myself or with just the kids because I don't know when one of these headaches will hit. I do not like the feeling of not knowing where I am or what is going on. We haven't made it to church in nearly two weeks because of the headaches. When they hit, it wipes me out. I was going to go to the doctor today, but our insurance does not start until February 1. I will be going if the headaches still persist. I also start the three weeks of tests that conclude with a biopsy on February 15. I am ready to be normal again.

We had supper on Saturday night with another couple that we love dearly. Her and I swear our husbands are kin. They act so much alike it is scary. They both pull some of the same stunts, and they both are as sweet as can be. Don't mess with their family though.

I started back to school yesterday. I'm still trying to get a feel of what I believe this semester will be like. I'm having problems concentrating and following sometimes when the headaches start.

We have been talking about changing to a church that is nearer to home. The boys have soundly objected to that, so I'm pretty sure we will keep going where we are. I want to be happy at whatever church we happen to be at. Right now Hubster and I seem to be both struggling with even going. *See above about the two weeks of not being in church* It has nothing to do with the pastor either. We love our pastor and his preaching. It is the drive that is starting to get us. I don't know what will end up happen, but I'm going to pray for God's guidance in this.

Besides the headache, life has been pretty dad gum terrific. The kids are great. The Hubster is great. Things seem to be looking up.

January is nearly half-way over...

2012-01-09T12:19:00.001-06:00

I can't believe it. Where has the time gone? Next week is the start of the spring semester for my college. I just want to be done at this point, and I'm just now starting. I still don't know what exactly I want to do. I'm making contingency plans because it is so hard to get into nursing school. I figure that I need to have a plan B, C, and D in place. I'm not counting on that route working out all that well for me because of how hard it is to get in. That will be okay though. I'm thinking if that route doesn't work, I might go the route of physical therapy. If that doesn't sound like fun, then I might just give education a go.

Hubster and I have decided that we will just stay in the house we are in probably. We are hoping that within the next two years we can go from renting to own from the owner (who we know very well and believes our kids are her grandkids) to outright buying it from her with it being put in our name. We need to get our credit cleaned up, and we are well on our way to getting there according to our last credit score pull. In the meantime, we are going to start fixing it up the way we want to. The first project will probably be the upstairs bathroom or the kitchen. We are also wanting to do some radiant barrier in our attic. We want to completely gut our kitchen and start over. Right now it is a small eat in kitchen, and I want to change it from that to a bar area that we can eat at. We have a large dining room that is not used. We can start eating in there for "family" meals.

Hubster is liking his new job. It seems to be working out very well for him. I'm glad he is liking it so much. The kids are doing great. KB turns 12 in 17 days. I can't believe I will have 2 junior high students next year. That is not possible. I can remember when they both started to school. We are going to talk to the school that KG goes to. We are hoping that might be willing to let BG start school a year early. Her birthday falls on September 4, and you have to be 5 by September 1 to go to Kindergarten. I'm hoping that they will let her start K-4 at 3 and K-5 at 4. The teacher would be okay with BG starting school a year early. If not, then she will just start when she is supposed to.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T14:49:00.001-06:00

from our family to yours. We have had a wonderful Christmas. The kids seem to have gotten what they all wanted, and we didn't break the bank or go into debt. I refuse to go into debt for any reason including Christmas. I think that is crazy. Things ended up working out, and the Navy still owes us nearly $3000. Just have to keep on them to get it taken care of. Hopefully Hubster stays on top of it.

TB got his flat screen television that he was wanting, and we got a terrific deal on it. We only paid $285 for a 42in one for his room. I like his better than I like mine. Santa brought him an android tablet that he had been requesting. KB got a bunch of little things, mainly a guitar, a tablet, clothes, and a skateboard. He should be able to give the skateboard a whirl come this week. His foot is much better. I'm half way tempted to not even take him in to see the doctor for a final xray. The girls got a bounce house that is huge. It sits in our family room upstairs, but it is very large. It can be taken outside and played with too. They got a few toys, and Santa brought a Disney princess musical vanity and kitchen. I must have been an extra good girl this year too. I got a cricut and a kindle fire. Both of them things that I had been asking for. I must say that we have been blessed this year.

Can't wait to start the new year off. I'm expecting 2012 to be a fantastic year for our family. I don't believe that I should have to have any surgeries. Plus we are going to start training for a 5k. I can't wait. I plan on losing the last of the weight this year. Looking forward to many blessings. I hope that everybody out there in blogger land has a year filled with them too.

Bah Humbug

2011-12-21T15:49:00.000-06:00

My Christmas spirit went out the window this morning. That is what happens when the Navy shorts you $2800 right before Christmas. Hubster uses his travel card very sparingly when in a class. The Navy happened to mess up the per diem, and they only paid him for staying on base instead of the per diem rate for staying in a hotel. That is a $56 per day difference, and when you pay for expenses yourself out of pocket it can leave you in a pickle. We have dealt numerous times with the Navy being slow in paying travel claims, so you learn quickly it is easier to pay for everything upfront yourself, and then have the Navy pay you. Add this to the fact that his final check from them was short $700, and you quickly start trying to figure out what to do. I thought I was going to be sick, and I don't have any idea how bills will be paid let alone the final bit of Christmas we have left to buy. Yes, I know that everything will work out. It has to. Plus our Tricare got messed up and cancelled, but I believe we might have that issue resolved now. I think. We won't know until I try to get online to make sure that we have coverage.

I'm going to try and get my Christmas spirit back. It isn't about things. It is about people and Jesus. I need to remember that. My friend is coming over tomorrow for a day of baking and candy making. I'm looking forward to it. We should have fun. Now, I just need to finish up my list and run to the store to finish getting the things that are needed.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

2011-11-28T08:43:00.001-06:00

It was a great week. Didn't start out all that great, but it certainly ended up wonderful. I have some sort of virus, or so the doctor suspects, that is causing me to throw up. It has overtaken my body for at least three weeks, so he is going to refer me to a specialists. Throwing up blood will tend to make him want to make sure that everything is okay. Thankfully it is just a little bit of blood and not a lot of blood. If I can ever get over this stomach stuff, I will be good to go.

Monday Hubster called telling me he found a flight home for $319. He could get home late Wednesday and leave Saturday back to California. Who could pass up that deal? We certainly didn't. We decided to surprise the kids. They didn't know he was coming home for Thanksgiving. The kids reactions to seeing their daddy was priceless. It would give you a warm and fuzzy feeling. Nothing like hearing your 4 year old scream and laugh when she saw her Daddy at 2 AM. It was priceless, and I did video it. It would bring tears to your eyes. Thursday we had everybody here at my house. I messed the turkey up. I overcooked it. Won't happen again. Otherwise the food was really good if I do say so myself. I don't like turkey anyway. Friday we did some black Friday shopping after all of the crazy people went home which means we went out about 9 AM. We had to get a new tree. Our tree is gorgeous this year. *NTS post picture of beautiful tree*. Saturday we took Hubster to the airport for his trip back to California. BG told me I was mean because I wouldn't let her go with Daddy. Yeap, that is me, mean Mommy. We only have two weeks until he comes home, so this is a piece of cake. Yes, you can hear a smile in my typing. This is going to be a busy couple of weeks, so I'm expecting time to fly by. Amazing how 2 weeks seems like such a short time. Sunday though was what has made my week. We had a special preacher, Dr. Tim Lee, *google him folks if you don't know who he is*. I think he was there to preach at me Sunday morning. It was just exactly what I needed to hear. Revival starts with me. I left that church service Sunday morning with a song in my heart, a lightness in my step, and a smile on my face. I love having that joy, and I missed having it. The stuff that was bothering me, I was able to let it go. It isn't worth it. I have wonderful friends who are there for me if I *very important note there I* would just ask for help if needed or reach out. I know this, but Satan has a way of telling me that no I don't. That is my weakness. Well, I'm not going to let him have this joy. It is mine, and God gave it to me. Last night's service was nearly two hours. It is amazing when you can feel God in your service. He visited our church last night. Those that didn't make it to church last night missed out on a great service. I have to miss church on Wednesday night because of speech class, and I'm bummed about it. I would much prefer to go to church then give a speech. Oh well, I will do what I need to do.

Looking forward to a great week. I get to see one of my best friends on Wednesday. Friday is Ladies Tea at church. Saturday KG has a dance recital outside in the cold, but we do at least get to see fireworks. Sunday we are back at church, and there is a special concert Sunday night. Then Hubster comes home at the end of next week. Have I mentioned that "God is GOOD". Thankful He has filled my schedule so full that I don't have a lot of free time to dwell on how much I miss Hubster.

It was one of THOSE weeks...

2011-11-13T14:17:00.001-06:00

You know the type of week I am talking about. The type of week that you are glad is over because if it could go wrong it would. It was the type of week where you are glad it is over, and you just pray that the next week will be better even though you are not expecting it too, but you sure can hope and pray right.
Sunday was a great day except the coming home part. Monday was unexceptional. Forgot to pay for KG's dance class, so I'm going to get hit with a late fee when I do pay it. Oops. Tuesday was where it all started to turn dreadfully wrong. Hubster called me Tuesday afternoon with some news that we had to pay a bill that I wasn't expecting, and it had to be paid that day. It was imperative, and that meant coming up with nearly $400 out of thin air. I was so distracted by trying to figure out where money was going to appear from, that I laid my phone down at the grocery store. It walked out of the store with the help of somebody other than me. There goes another $130 that I'm going to have to fork over to buy a new phone. Wednesday was another uneventful day. We made it to church. Then Thursday happened. Thursday KB had some issues at school that I found out about. He is really missing Hubster, and Hubster and I decided that maybe we need to figure out a way for us to make it to California. There is not a support system in place for military spouses at the church we go to. I only know of one other spouse in our church that has a husband in the military. Even though my husband is only in the reserves, he has been gone a lot this year. Maybe it is God's way of telling me that I really need to work to put together that type of ministry because I feel really strongly that there is a ministry there that is being missed. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel alone and adrift right now, and I want nothing more than to have somebody call, text, or email me and see if I need anything when Hubster is gone. I would love for somebody to call and say "Hey, would you like to meet for lunch or dinner. Can I stop by for a chat? What day can I take the girls or the boys for a few hours?" I don't feel like there is anybody I can turn to. Then I feel bad for even wishing that somebody would notice that hey I need a friend here. I'm strong. I should be able to do two months with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. I have retreated back into myself, and that is where I will remain until Hubster gets home in December. Anybody wants to find me, they know how to get a hold of me. Didn't even talk to Hubster on Friday. He was too busy to call. Saturday KG started getting sick, KB hurt his foot, and we went to supper for my mom's birthday. I can't afford to take either one to the doctor until Tuesday when Hubster gets paid. I have started hurting again like I did before my hysterectomy, and I just feel awful. I can't even lay on my right side because of the pain. I go to the doctor on Friday to start the process of seeing what is going on yet again. Yesterday, I figured out the finances, and it doesn't look like a trip to California is doable. I just don't see it happening unless a way opens up. I haven't even told KB yet. He has been on cloud nine with the hope that we get to go. I don't have the heart to tell him yet that it doesn't look possible.

Sitting in the LAX Airport

2011-11-06T18:16:00.000-06:00

waiting to go home after a weekend with the Hubster in Port Hueneme. I love it out here so much. I could live out here. I will try and get some pictures posted soon. I flew Virgin America, and I must say what a ride. I got upgraded to first class on both portions of the flight. I'm spoiled because that is the way to fly. We had a 90 minute couples massage yesterday, and that was heavenly. We walked around Channel Harbor and ate at a seafood place there. Food was okay, but it isn't anything that I would write home about. I was looking for something a little more spectacular based on the reviews, but it was bland. I love driving the PCH. It is such a beautiful drive.

It was very hard to leave Hubster. I held my tears in check until I got into the security line, and then I let a few fall. I consider that pretty good. I am ready to see the kids. They stayed with my parents, and went to visit my newest great niece who was born on Tuesday. What a great birthday to have...11/1/11. She is adorable, and I can't wait to snuggle and kiss on her. Hopefully soon. Flight should be boarding in less than thirty minutes. I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be to get home. I'm praying still for a miracle of someway getting to come and see Hubster for Thanksgiving, but I just don't see it happening. I would love nothing more than to do that.

2 posts in 1 week...WOW

2011-10-12T08:45:00.001-05:00

BG and I took Hubster to the airport yesterday for his flight to Port Hueneme. She cried and cried and asked him to take her with him. It was awful to say the least. I was hoping to get out for a weekend to see him, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I don't have anybody to watch the kids for me. I might try to swing a road trip out to California for Thanksgiving, but I'm not sure if that will happen either. I'm having a hard time justifying the cost, and the cost is pretty steep. That money could go towards Christmas, but I can't stand the thought of being apart. I will probably just suck it up and be apart.

I'm not dealing with this all that well either. I need a couple of hours to wallow in self-pity, and then I will be fine. For some reason I didn't expect him to actually go, so when he called me at 1030 yesterday morning to tell me that his flight left at 115 yesterday afternoon it threw me for a loop. I certainly didn't sleep well at all last night, so today I'm draggy. I have lots of school work to do, and I need to be doing that instead of being on here. Ready for the semester to be over. Next week is the halfway point. YEA!

I have a full rest of the week except for Friday. I'm thinking Friday might just be a relax and chill at home kind of day. KG has her first fieldtrip, and BG and I are going with her. I can't wait because it is actually one of those places that I love to go to personally. I can't wait.

Amazed at how quickly things can change...

2011-10-09T20:08:00.002-05:00

Hubster is scheduled to leave for a two month class to Port Hueneme on Tuesday. That is if his orders get funded on Tuesday. Big, huge mess on Friday concerning his orders. He wasn't happy. It looks like we won't be together, yet again, for another holiday unless something amazing happens to make it happen.

The two places that he talked to last week told him to call them when he gets back from Hueneme. One of them will for sure have a job, and the other one will have one for him if they have a slot open. We really want a slot to be open for him, but we will take whatever we can get.

It Seems Like if it Can Go Wrong...

2011-09-29T12:44:00.000-05:00

it will. Hubster got laid off from his job last Wednesday. We weren't shocked, but it is still not a pleasant experience. Hubster went to apply for unemployment, and we got another bombshell. It seems that they overpaid him last year when he was unemployed by four weeks, so until we pay back $1600 no unemployment. They are nice enough to let us pay them back at a rate of $120 per month, but considering that we have zero money coming in that looks like a huge number. We are trying to fight it, but we don't know if it will do any good. Hubster has been on 4 job interviews so far. He has two interviews today. I'm just hoping that he hears something tomorrow. Our van also broke down, but thankfully Hubster was able to fix it enough until he gets a job. Then last night we got home from church to a big mess. They are building a Walmart across the street from our subdivision, and the water has been turned off every afternoon this week for hours on end. KG wanted to take a bath, so she turned the water faucets on in the bathtub. Needless to say that when the water came back on, so did the water in the tub. It overflowed into the downstairs. I told Hubster last night on the way home from church that I'm beginning to wonder just what in the world we have done wrong because I want to fix it. I'm so stressed right now, and I'm trying not to worry. Just need prayers that everything works out quickly.

Wow..It has been nearly a month

2011-09-14T09:00:00.001-05:00

The family has been so busy that I hardly have a time to turn around. I can not imagine doing school full time and working. It just would not be possible. I am already overwhelmed with school without adding that to the mix. I keep telling myself that eventually I will get into a routine, and then I will have weeks like this week where I have 5 papers to turn in. I should be doing those instead of sitting on here blogging, but here I sit.

KG is loving school, and she is absorbing so much right now. I love how that we can be anywhere, and she starts pointing out numbers and letters to me. She is growing up so much. I did not have any problem the first day of school dropping her off, but yesterday I teared up. She told me that I didn't have to walk her to class any more because she is a big girl. She knows where her class is. Nothing like watching your child walk into a building all by herself. She is loving flip and dance. She is learning how to do handstands. One of these days she is going to learn how to do a cartwheel. Let me just say that she isn't exactly the most coordinated kid, but as long as she is loving it and having fun, then we will keep going. She has her first dance recital on October 29. She has to wear a Halloween costume for that one.

BG is getting used to being at home with just Mommy. I think she is really liking it. She turned 3 on September 4. I still can't believe my baby is 3 years old. I don't know where time has flown. She is growing up so fast.

The boys are doing pretty good. They are both enjoying football, and the more that TB gets to play the more he seems to like it. They had him running the ball yesterday, and he was saying that he dragged the biggest boy (He is actually the biggest, so it is the next biggest boy.) 3 yards, and coaches were hollering at him to go. This is a big deal because LTrain (that is what the kid is called) is a really good football player. TB missed last weeks game because he had bronchitis. Coach and doctor told him no practicing or playing until he could run without coughing up a lung. KB got to play a bit, and he loved it. He did get hurt yesterday. He and another boy hit helmets, and it bent his neck back. One of the other moms is a nurse practioner, so she checked him out. Said that it would be sore a few days, but otherwise he should be fine. He rotated between ice and heat last night. He said it was stiff this morning, but at least it felt better. KB is doing pretty good in school. All of his grades are passing, so we will take that. He had a few issues at the beginning of the year with not turning in work. Coach cured him of that at least until football season is over. They get a copy of progress reports every Tuesday afternoon, and if they have a zero, they run "reminders". Those are horrible, and he found out real quick he didn't want to do that again. TB is struggling in school. He was failing 3 classes, but two of his teachers gave him extra credit work to make up the test grades. Hopefully that will put him back over the passing. A test taker he is not. The other class he just needed to turn two papers in, and that should get his grade back into the passing realm. He started out the year so great, and then I don't know what happened. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. He does have a 99 average right now in math. His teacher is so proud of him. She is one of the teachers that he is failing a class in, so she is really trying to work with him. I asked him if we need to get him a tutor if that might help him with spelling. The dysgraphia kills his English grade because it has spelling. Hopefully his grades have been brought up because next week is eligibility week, and he wants to play.

Hubster went on a Navy funded trip to California back in August, and he was trying to go on a four month funded trip starting in October. His CO has put a halt on all classes until after July. He wants all hands on deck for FEX. Training told him that he might still be able to take a class, but only if he signs a waiver stating he will go in July. He has no problem doing that, but the CO has to sign off on the class and waiver business. Hopefully he can get this done because his job right now is SLOOOOOOOOOOW. They told him that they would like for him to take a 3 to 4 month class that way they don't have to lay anybody off. I really do like this company he works for. We are praying that either work picks back up, or that he gets a waiver and a class.

Health wise I'm doing okay. I'm still having issues from the surgery. I am being referred to another doctor to see if my problem can be fixed with medicine, have to live with it, or requires surgery. She told me that I will have multiple tests ran, and that one of them is a potassium test that hurts. They are going to do a biopsy of my bladder. I have to check today to see if the referral has been approved, and when my appointment is.

School...

2011-08-18T10:14:00.002-05:00

School started this week for 3 of the 4 kids. KG is loving Pre-K. She loves her teacher, and I do to. I'm a little concerned that all she does is color and sing. I will give it a few more weeks.

The boys are liking school and football. We really start to get into the swing of things in a few weeks.

I start to school in 2 weeks, and I'm worried that I can't do it. I'm sure I will be fine though.

I Have a Happy Post...and an Update

2011-07-28T13:02:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling good, or at least I have over the last 2 days. I've tried my best to take it easy. I will not be vacuuming for the near future, since that seemed to set me back. I've had little to no cramping over the last few days. No spotting since Monday evening. I was worn out yesterday, but that could have been from the bad day on Tuesday that I had. Now, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

Also, I think I should send TB to camp more often. He came back a different kid. He is so much more respectful and doesn't get mouthy with me as much.

We got KG enrolled in preschool. I need to go and get her school clothes this weekend. I also need to start getting school supplies for the boys and myself. WOO HOO for school starting in 2.5 weeks!

ETA: Guess I spoke to soon. Nothing like crampiness and a very sore and swollen belly to bring you crashing back to earth. Geesh, I'm sick of this.

Last Week of July...

2011-07-25T08:54:00.003-05:00

I told the kids last night to enjoy their last week because starting next week, we are back on school sleep schedule. The boys start football practice on Monday at 8 AM, and they leave on Tuesday for the rest of the week for football camp. They need to get back on a schedule. The girls are going to be in for a shock to their systems with going to bed around 8 in order to get up in time. They will get used to it. I think I might need to go and buy them some black out curtains this weekend.

I'm struggling again with church. I love going once I get there, but it is the getting there part that I'm struggling with. I can think of a million and one reasons why I don't want to go, or why I'm to busy to go. Why I hurt to go. Once you get out of the routine of going, it is very HARD to get back into the routine of going. Last night, we had our camp service. It was really great, and then I got home. All of the joy of the service was gone. It is as if satan is really hammering me with negativity in my life right now. Between the surgery and still have lingering effects from that, and feeling like an outsider at church at times, the desire to go just isn't there. I want some of what TB has to rub off on me. Maybe the feeling like an outsider is my own doing. I never call or text anybody because everybody I know works, and I don't want to bother them when they are home with their families.

I'm on the prowl for a recumbent bike. Walking long distances still bothers me, so I'm thinking an exercise bike might be the way to go. I think I just found one. I will get Hubster to go by tonight to check it out while I'm with KG at dance and flip.

2 posts in 2 days...

2011-07-23T20:10:00.002-05:00

Why do you ask? It is because I'm FRUSTRATED beyond belief with the extremely, extremely slow progress of how fast I'm healing from the hysterectomy. I never, ever, never in my wildest imagination dreamed it would be this hard, this painful, and most especially this LONG. Top it all off with a bladder that doesn't want to work properly, if at all, and you have the makings for one very irritated human being. Just when I start to believe that I'm finally on the upward swing of feeling good, if not great, my body tells me to HOLD UP. It isn't time to start celebrating yet.

Today, I decided to go to the store for some grocery shopping even though I woke up not feeling great, but not able to pin point just exactly why I wasn't feeling good. We don't have food in this house, and I'm tired of eating out. It is expensive, fattening, and gross. I was given the all clear on Thursday, so I figure that I will be okay lifting a bag with 12 pounds of sugar in it. Got a little twinge, but I didn't think anything about it. Got to HEB (Love that store) and started my shopping. About halfway through the store KG tells me she has to go to the bathroom, so my mom takes her. I start pushing the cart, and I'm about halfway down the aisle when what decides to happen. I'm hit with such an intense pain, that my knees nearly buckle. I thought I was going to puke right there. I was so queasy. I felt like my insides were going to fall out. I'm sitting here with my feet propped up, with some of the worst cramps imaginable, a belly that looks and feels like I'm 5 months pregnant, feet and legs that are swollen, and stabbing pains in my belly. I'm to the point where I wonder what is wrong with me. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why in the world did I have this hysterectomy? Did I make the right decision?

If anybody asks from here on out, I'm perfectly fine. I'm doing great. I'm sure nobody wants to hear the truth. You want the truth, then you read here. I will lay it all on the line here.

I rearranged my college schedule. I dropped my chemistry class in exchange for an intro to sociology. It is just so hard for me to go to college in the evening especially if Hubster finds a class to take for 3 months during the fall. He is looking. He only needs 90 more active duty days to get 100% GI Bill instead of the 70% we have right now. He also is going to be gone for 2 weeks in August courtesy of the Navy. He gets another paid vacation to California. He said he wasn't visiting anybody this time.

TB loved camp, and I could tell. He actually talked about it. I'm so glad. I got to looking at his FB page, and he has added a bunch of new friends. They are mainly girls. I'm very lucky to have some good kids. I couldn't be prouder of them.

6 Week Point...Life is Good

2011-07-22T09:12:00.002-05:00

I hit the six week check up point of my surgery yesterday. This involved me going to the GYN yesterday for an exam to make sure that everything went back to the correct places. Thankfully everything did. I still have one issue, but we are working on that one. I go back on August 30th to see if further surgery or medicine or something else needs to be done. Nothing like having what is hopefully just nerve damage done that can be fixed or learning to deal with it.

She is also trying to arrange some physical therapy for my hip and back. They have been bothering me since surgery, especially my hip.

I was disappointed in my weight because I had gained 4 pounds, but I'm still less than surgery day. She told me that it was fine. I would lose it. Plus I'm really swollen. I think I'm retaining water, but that has something to do with the problem that I'm having.

TB went to church camp this past week. He comes home today. He also turned 13 yesterday. I can't believe that I'm the mom of a teenager now. From what I've heard, camp was amazing. We had a bunch of youth saved and lots of lives changed. I can't wait to hear about it from TB. Just hoping he tells me about it instead of the one word answers that I normally get. He starts back to football practice on Monday, and then him and KB will be gone for a week the week after that.

KG started gymnastics and dance on Monday. She was beaming, and she loves it. She has her first dance show on October 31. Hubster and I have a meeting with the school we want to send her to for Pre-k next Tuesday. She would be going Monday - Friday from 8-3, and have regular school days and holidays.

I enrolled in college. I'm going to be taking 17 hours. BG is going to a friend's house to stay on the 2 days that I have classes during the week.

Life right now seems to be falling into place very nicely.

3 Weeks Post-Op and Woo Hoo Something Strange

2011-06-30T16:25:00.003-05:00

is happening. Woke up this morning with a knot the size of my fist below my belly button. It hurts. Dr. M. can't see me until in the morning, so she told me to stay off my feet and come to the ER if I have any fever, chills, or the pain gets worse. Doesn't hurt as bad right this moment as it did when I got up, so that is a good thing. I'm sure that the knot will be gone before in the morning. I just want everybody to think I'm a freaking nut job. I know it was there because my mom could even see it on that side. It is very sensitive to touch.

Yesterday morning was the best I have felt in months. I was tender and a little sore. I actually got out and drove a few miles to take the girls to the doctor. I think that is why I might have developed a knot. I had to lift BG a few times. By the time I was done, I was wiped out energy wise and sore. I was very sore. I'm not to worried about the knot that has developed. I just figure I did something that I wasn't supposed to.

The kids are doing great. KG has grown so much over the last few months. I can't believe it. She is no longer a baby. Hubster found out about the surprise party I was going to throw for him on July 9. One of our friends at church accidentally spilled the beans. We had a good laugh about it. Now, I just have to figure out how I'm going to get everything done.

One of Those Days...

2011-06-24T22:05:00.002-05:00

Well, it has actually been a few of those days. Yesterday I went to the doctor for my 2 week post-op. She was upset with the weight loss. For some reason 14 pounds in 3 weeks doesn't make her happy. She was also concerned with the pain I'm still in. Told me if I didn't see significant improvement by next Thursday, I have to come back in for a ct scan.

I'm doing my best not to cry right at this moment. My emotions today have been all over the place. I finally got out of the house for a few hours. I went to eat lunch with my mom and kids and then ran to Ross's and Michael's. I was ready to come home after lunch. The hard chair that I sat on at lunch wasn't comfortable. I've been in pain ever since. I'm so tired of hurting.

I'm saddened by people that haven't even bothered to call, to send an email, or even a text to check on me. I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I heard from people that I never expected to, and then not a word from those that I expected to at least hear a "I hope you're feeling okay". I also realize that a lot of what I'm feeling right now is hormones out of whack. These last couple of weeks have been very hard on me physically and emotionally. I didn't expect this to be this hard. Even though I was done having kids, there is a part of me that grieves of what was taken because of this hysterectomy. I wasn't expecting that either. I didn't expect to be saddened by this. It has thrown me for a loop. From everything that I have read, this is normal. Maybe if I had bounced back quickly some of these emotions wouldn't be like they are right now.

At least I have tomorrow to look forward to GNO with some of my Seabee Sisters. I can't wait. I still can't drive, so Hubster is going to take me over there. Then he and the kids are going to go eat somewhere else. Hubster has also been working insane hours at work. It is craziness, but it has certainly padded our savings account. He will be off next weekend for the entire 3 day weekend. Plus his birthday is next Sunday. We are going out to lunch after church with our good friends. I can't wait.

1 step Forward...2 Steps back

2011-06-22T15:40:00.003-05:00

Or at least that is the way I'm feeling. Yesterday I felt like I was ran over by a car, which is better than feeling like I've been run over by a truck. I tried to do to much on Monday. That is code for I was on my feet more than I should have been. I can't be on my feet for more than 15 minutes at a time still before I'm in agonizing pain. This is getting ridiculous. Yesterday, I took it very easy. Stayed off my feet. I woke up this morning, and I actually felt good. I was just a little tender around my incision site. Thought it would be a good idea to do more than normal. I am now regretting it. I made the delicious chocolate eclairs that you see below, and I'm now in pain. My incision site is killing me. The pain is shooting down my legs, and I'm cramping like there is no tomorrow. This is freaking ridiculous. I go into the doctor tomorrow for my 2 week post-op check-up. I can't wait to hear what she has to say.

Chocolate Eclairs or Cream Puffs

2011-06-22T15:19:00.002-05:00

Today I decided (Since I was feeling good) to try and cook/bake something different. They turned out yummy good even though I'm starting to regret being up on my feet for that amount of time. I did rest in between times, but I'm hurting now. It was easier than I was expecting to make them. I'm still kind of shocked at how easy they actually were to make.

The Puff Pastry

1 cup of water
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup flour
3 eggs

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Heat water and butter to boiling point. Add flour and stir constantly until mixture is smooth and forms a ball when tested in cold water. Remove from heat and let cool. Beat in 3 eggs, one at a time. Drop dough from tablespoon onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake for approximately 30-35 minutes or until light brown. Set aside to cool.

The Chocolate Cream

2 cups of whole milk
1 tsp Almond flavoring
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp of sugar
5 Tbsp of cake flour
3 Tbsps of cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 egg
2 egg yolks

1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp of heavy cream

In a medium saucepan bring the milk and almond flavoring to a boil. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk the sugar with the cake flour, cocoa and salt. Whisk in the egg and egg yolks. Slowly add the hot milk, whisking constantly. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan and bring to a boil over moderate heat, whisking constantly. Continue to boil the pastry cream, whisking constantly, until thick, about 30 seconds longer. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, or until cool.

In a medium bowl, whip the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Whisk the pastry cream, then fold in the whipped cream until blended.

Cut the puff pastry in half with a serrated knife. Spoon pastry cream into pastry. Set Aside.

The Chocolate Glaze

2 Tbsp melted butter
2 Tbsp cocoa
2 Tbsp Hot Water
1 Cup of Powdered Sugar
1 tsp vanilla

Mix melted butter, cocoa, and hot water. Blend the butter mixture with the powdered sugar and vanilla.

Dip the filled eclairs into the chocolate glaze. The glaze will harden as it dries. This yields about 20 eclairs.

2 Posts in 1 Week...

2011-06-19T09:05:00.002-05:00

First off, Happy Father's Day to 2 of the best men that I know, my Dad and Hubster. I have the hands down best dad in the world. Hubster is an amazing father. I couldn't have gotten any luckier when I spied him across a room playing pool. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would have 4 kids with him, but we do. I wouldn't change it for the world.

BG and I skipped church this morning. Still not up to riding in a car for 30 minutes. I tried a short car ride on Friday, and I regretted it. I'm feeling much better, but I still have pain in and and around my incision. The more I move around during the day. The more pain I'm in by the end of the day. I'm just trying to take it easy.

I got my acceptance letter for school, and I found out how much it is going to cost. I need to call the admissions office and see if there is somebody that I can talk to. I need to figure out just exactly what I need to do. We also found out this week if Hubster will attend 1 class on campus we get a housing allowance. We can't pass that up, so I'm trying to convince him that we need to attend a class together.

Weekly Recap...

2011-06-16T06:42:00.002-05:00

This has been what I like to dub "A WEEK". It has been extremely long. Last Thursday was of course surgery day. I arrived at the hospital at 11 for my 1 PM surgery. Surgery started on time, and the next thing I remember is waking up at 6 PM in my room. I ended up having a total abdominal hysterectomy, which will be known as TAH from here on out. I had to much scar tissue on my intestines to have the "easier" surgery. I got to go the full route. I was in surgery for 4.5 hours. I don't think my body knows how to do easy any more.

Friday was uneventful. Saturday Hubster had drill, and I got released from the hospital a full day early because I was doing good. That is code for I got up out of the hospital bed and walked the hospital halls until I felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted to go home. Crazy me missed my kids and the noise. I about went stir crazy on Friday being by myself in a hospital room not able to get out of bed.

Sunday Hubster was frocked. We are incredibly proud of him. He has waited a long time for this.

The rest of the week has me basically sitting in a recliner with my feet propped up. I never imagined in my life that I would hurt this much. I wasn't expecting the pain that I'm in. I can take the 3 other surgeries and having 4 kids combine it, and I don't think it would come close to the pain that I've been in after this surgery. I have also had some moments over the past week where I wonder if what I had done was worth it. The second guessing of myself rears it's ugly head. In my pain induced and medicated induced fog, I vaguely recall hearing my doctor tell me that the pain I was in before surgery should now be fixed. I will get the full details at my 2 week check up next Thursday. She has put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) because I vaguely recall her mentioning that she took everything or most of everything. I'm sitting here in my recliner at 7 AM awake because I moved wrong at 5 AM this morning. Nothing like a burning, searing pain to wake you up. The ache that is left over has not let up, and now the debate is on to rather or not to call the doctor. What to do, what to do.

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

2011-06-08T18:48:00.002-05:00

If I could turn back the clock to December 2009, I wouldn't have a tubal done. I have had nothing but problems since then. I'm convinced that this is a major reason that I'm having a hysterectomy tomorrow. I just find it oddly funny that I didn't have 1 single problem before the tubal, and I haven't had anything but since. I never had the pain before. My cycle was on time like clockwork until the tubal was done. I would gladly turn the clock back and undo this if I could. I would go a different route in order not to get pregnant again. I've talked to many friends that have had a tubal and within a year they have had to have a hysterectomy. I know there are people out there that don't have 1 single problem, but they don't seem to be that many of them. When I hear people are getting a tubal done, my first instinct is to tell them to run for the hills and not do it. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Instead I bite my tongue and wish them luck. The surgery itself wasn't all that bad. The recovery wasn't bad. It has been the after affects that have been horrible.

I'm getting very nervous about tomorrow. Ready to have this last surgery done and over. I need to pack my hospital bag. I just got finished drinking my magnesium citrate. That stuff is all kinds of nasty. I need to hydrate some more tonight before midnight.

The Weekend...

2011-05-30T19:36:00.002-05:00

We had a very busy weekend. I'm pooped from it. Saturday Hubster decided that we were going to have a Forced Family Fun Day. He told everybody to get in the car and to be quiet. He was taking us on a day trip. We drove for an hour and a half only to not do what we had set out to do. The lines were to long, and we all didn't want to have to wait. We ended up eating at Cheddars. I love that place. I do believe that might be one of my favorite restaurants. We finally made it home, and then Hubster and I went on a date. We went and saw Fast Five. I loved it. I can watch Vin Diesel though in just about anything. There was lots of eye candy on the screen. After that we went to eat at Red Lobster because I had a $25 giftcard that I got for Mother's Day from my Secret Sister at church. Date night ended up not costing us a whole bunch.

Sunday we went to church, and then we came home. We took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2. Loved it. BG fell asleep, but the other 4 (including Hubster) really liked it. It was really cute, and I liked it better than the first movie. After the movie we decided to go to a hotel for the night. I took the kids swimming, and by the end of the night I felt like the biggest loser. KG threw up because she swallowed water. I caught her before she puked in the pool, but I wouldn't let her go swimming any more. She had puke all over her swimsuit. I figured others wouldn't want her swimming in the pool after that. BG decide that she was going to pee on the side of the deck. At least it wasn't in the pool. This was on top of her getting stuck in the hot tub, and I was trying to get to her. As I got ready to hop out of the pool, my bathing suit bottom fell down. I don't think anybody saw it, but it was embarrassin. Another lady got to her first and grabbed her. I guess it is time for a new swimsuit. I didn't realize how big it was.

We didn't do much today. Hubster had to work until noon. I went grocery shopping, and Hubster took KB to get a Samsung tablet that he found on Craiglist for $50. Overall it was a great weekend. I'm going to be busy the next two weeks as I start to get ready for my surgery coming up on the 9th. I'm going to get highlights on Tuesday, and I have pre-op on Wednesday. Should be a fun filled week.

Where has May gone...

2011-05-25T16:58:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it is just about over. The kids are out of school. The boys start football strength training next Monday. I can't believe it. Before we blink the summer will be over. I still don't know where the time has gone.

I'm not in a "talkative" mood. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders, and it worries me. I'm just waiting for that other shoe to drop. I guess you can say that I'm anxious, and I have no idea why. I hate living like this.

There is so much I want to do. There is so much I want to accomplish, and I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. I just need to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and get done what I need to get done.

I can't believe how fast May is flying by...

2011-05-11T12:16:00.003-05:00

I'm shocked. We have been so busy that it is craziness around my house. TB has 7th grade orientation tomorrow. It is a parent's optional type of thing. I asked him if he would be okay with me going, and he promptly replied...NO! He told me he wouldn't acknowledge me being there. I knew this before I asked, but I so enjoy needling the boy. The boys started spring football, and so far they both love it. They have 2 weeks of practice before summer. Then they have a week off. This summer they will have conditioning and weights that are "optional" all summer. We also found out they will be gone for a week the first week of August for football camp. The place they go to school sends them to a camp. It is covered in the fees that we have to pay. They are looking forward to it. I'm ready for the school year to be over. We have 7 more school days left. Next week is going to be extra busy around here. This Friday they have the talent show at school, and of course, KB is in it. Just what I want to do. Wednesday is awards. Thursday is field day, and Friday is the last day of school. I can't wait.

Hubster got great news yesterday. He finally, after 5 tests, advanced to CE1. There were only 9 Navy wide that advanced. He is sitting in a rate that has little to no advancement in it right now. He was so happy. He was 4 points away last test cycle, so he knew he was close. He didn't even know about it until somebody called him to congratulate him. He was like a school boy. Guess that cemented his decision to just stay where he is at right now and reenlist for another 3 years. He should be signing paperwork this drill weekend.

On a happy note about me, I finally have hit goal number 2 in my weight loss. I'm also at the point where my amount lost is bigger than my amount left to lose. It is a great big deal, and I can't believe that I'm finally there. Anybody that has struggled with their weight know how hard it is to lose, and I have a lot to lose. My clothes are getting way to big. I'm going to have to break down and buy me some new ones. The thing I have noticed is that I want cute clothes now. I used to not care. I just wanted something that is comfortable. I haven't been able to work out since my gallbladder surgery. I tried to work out on Monday, and I've regretted it since. My incision site hurts.

Surgery 1 is done...

2011-04-22T11:48:00.002-05:00

I had my gallbladder removed on Wednesday. The surgery took 3.5 hours, and it should have only taken 1 to 2 hours. It seems that it was being stubborn, and it was nice and comfy where it was. Dr. B was just about ready to open me up instead of doing it the easy way when it finally decided to come out. I've spent the last couple of days recuperating. Thankfully today, I'm feeling mostly human. I'm hoping that after I get to finally take a shower that I feel even better. I'm very light headed and dizzy today. Not sure if that is from lack of having anything of real nutritional value to eat or not.

I got a phone call yesterday from Dr. M's office about the hysterectomy. It looks like I'm going to be having that done on June 2 or June 9. When I went and saw her on Monday, the sono showed that one of my cysts had grown, but it was fluid filled. I had a tumor on my cervix that was not there 4 weeks ago, and I have a solid mass on my left ovary.

This getting old business is for the birds, and I'm ready for all of these surgeries to be done.

Today was full of the unexpected...

2011-04-14T18:13:00.002-05:00

I got a phone call from my surgeon around 10 AM. He had looked at my ct scan again, and he was worried about something he saw. There seems to be a gallstone that is over 3 cm, and he said my gallbladder needs to come out. His office called me back at 530 saying they could get me in Monday morning at 8. Whoa, hold up people. That is way to soon, and I don't have anybody that can help me on Monday. They said they could push it back to Wednesday which I figured would work. Hubster will be home with me day of surgery. My aunt will come on Thursday to help out, and then my mom will be here Friday through Monday. If I need more time than that, then I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm sure if push came to shove, that I can figure something out. This has been a whirlwind day.

I just have to say that the Navy had better not get it into their heads to go ahead and send Hubster to Hueneme from the 25th - May 6. That would really suck big time.

A Year...

2011-04-13T14:30:00.002-05:00

It has been a full year since Hubster returned home from Iraq. I still can't believe it has been that long. It doesn't seem possible. I can still vividly remember every detail of that day. I think it will forever be with me.

He is still debating on just what he plans on doing when his contract ends in June. I told him that he needs to hurry up and make a decision because he is running out of time. He starts back to school in May. I'm very proud of him for doing that.

MIL is in town. She got here Monday night. Her visit here has been really good. Tonight is church night. We are looking forward to that. We went shopping today for the kids. She ended up buying me a new pair of athletic shoes. They were on sale for 70% off, and they are good for running. I can tell you that her being here is not good on the diet. She likes to cook, so I'm trying to be extra careful with what I eat. I eat what she cooks, but I really make sure the portion is small.

The Weekend that Was...

2011-04-11T09:33:00.002-05:00

Quick recap...Friday night we went to a little Italian place to eat. The food was okay. They had singing waiters which was pretty neat. The place wasn't busy at all, so we sat and talked for a few hours. It was so nice. Saturday, Hubster went to Men's prayer breakfast. I made somewhere close to 100 cookies for our Sunday school picnic. We had so much fun. I really do love our Sunday school class. They are some of the best people around. Church on Sunday was really good as always, and then last night I had a bad episode of pain. People kept asking me if I was all right. No, I wasn't. I hurt. The only way to describe it is to take your world's worst cramps, and multiply that by 10. You should probably get close to it. The pain radiates down into my upper thighs, so the more I stand the more it hurts. Maybe it was a cysts bursting. That can cause the pain like that. Today I'm very achy, and nothing I take is about to take that pain away. I've taken Tylenol, and it doesn't help. I really just want to feel better.

I lost a whole pound last week. This is just so frustrating. Yesterday afternoon, I was down 4 pounds. Today, my official weigh in day, I was only down 1. Then I weighed again about 2 hours later, and it showed I weighed a 2 pounds more than I did last week. I'm just going with the 1 pound weight loss because I normally weigh at the same time. I can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit though, so I might not have lost in pounds. I have lost inches though.

MIL is scheduled to be in this evening. I can't wait to see her. We are going to go out of town for the weekend. I believe we finally have it nailed down where we are going. It is a place that none of us have ever been before. I think it should be fun.

Gee Whiz...

2011-04-08T12:19:00.002-05:00

I hate, hate, hate wasting money. It is a huge pet peeve of mine. I went to the surgeon yesterday for my gallbladder. You know, the one, that has gallstones, but it hasn't caused me any issues. He couldn't fathom why in the world that they would refer me to him. Those are his words. He said there is no way that the pain I have is caused by gallstones. That it is way to low to be that. He asked me if I had any symptoms, at which point I politely informed him no. That I really felt this was a waste of my time and money. He agreed. Wish he would have agreed to refund me the $50 co-pay. He did tell me that if the gallstones haven't bothered at this point, that there was a distinct possibility that they never would. He also said that if I really wanted my gallbladder out, he would take it out for me. No thank you. I see no reason to remove something that is not bothering me in the least. He was very nice, but I have had it up to my eyeballs with doctors visits and tests. I'm giving Dr. M. her last shot at doing something on April 21. If she can't do something about the pain, then I'm switching doctors. This has gotten insane and expensive. There is something wrong, and she needs to fix me. A year has been long enough.

On a happier note, tonight is date night for Hubster and I. We are meeting one of my besties and her husband for supper tonight. We laughingly call her husband Hubster's long lost brother from another mother. They act just alike, and they haven't seen each other in a few weeks. We expect them to be in rare form tonight. I'm also going to have my hair done. I love hair done days. They are relaxing, and Jennifer does such a great job. Think I'm going to ask her not to put blonde highlights in it though. Think I'm going to go for full on red hair one more time.

Sigh, then we have the government shut down thingy looming. I could care less if the government shuts down, but they need to make sure that the military gets paid. It really irritates me that Congress and the president get paid, but the military gets shafted. Hubster's drill was cancelled this weekend. Which is all nice and good, but they will have to make it up. That means that it is going to come at an inconvenient time for us probably. I blame both political parties for this fiasco. There is not a winner on either side. Yes, the budget needs to be cut. This budget should have been in place in October. There is not an if, and, or but about it. I want to go up to Washington and smack some people upside the head.

What a Weekend!

2011-04-04T11:51:00.004-05:00

It was wonderful. Saturday I finally met a lady that I had been chatting with online for over 6 months. We met for pedicures and lunch. I must say that was probably the best pedicure that I have ever had. I paid for it, but it was wonderful. We ended up eating at TGIFridays. It isn't my favorite place to eat, but it will certainly work when you are hungry. It wasn't to bad. Plus I know they have some pretty good boneless wings, and that is what I was hungry for. Saturday night Hubster and I went on a date. We ended up eating at a steak place called The Keg. Let me just say, that was probably the best meal I have eaten in forever. It was so incredibly yummy. It is not cheap, but we are already making plans to go back to there in June with some friends of ours.

Sunday we went to church in the morning, and then we made it up to the base. We needed to do some grocery shopping. We found out they were showing Gnomeo and Juliet at the theater, so we decided to take the kids. The girls and I (that is what happens when you wake up at 530) fell asleep during the movie, but the 3 boys said the movie was good. We came home after the movie, so we never made it to church last night. That felt odd, but Hubster wasn't feeling all that great. I think the long hours from work last week finally caught up with him. He was exhausted. He got a phone call last night from one of his Chiefs asking him to (aka informing aka voluntell) that they needed him back in Port Hueneme from April 25 - May 6. Looks like he is going to be gone again for 2 weeks.

I also got a phone call on Friday from the general surgeon's office. I have an appointment with them on Thursday at 330. They politely informed me that if I had any "episodes" or hurt in any way, that I was to call them immediately. If I couldn't get a hold of them, then I was to go straight to the ER. Yeah, that made me feel wonderful. May I just say that I'm ready for all of this to be over and done with. I just don't want to hurt any more.

The WW thing is going great. I lost 2.5 pounds last week. I was very excited with that, and I didn't feel cheated in any way. I was able to eat whatever I wanted to on Saturday night because I had so many saved points. This is really a great program. Here is hoping that it keeps going that way. I'm really enjoying this, and I'm really enjoying my workouts.

Nothing like sweating...

2011-03-31T09:44:00.003-05:00

Sweating is good for you, or so the lady on the exercise dvd keeps telling me. I'm going to agree with her for now. I started Weight Watchers last Friday, and tomorrow is my weigh in day. That scale had better moved down. I've been on a plateau for 2 months, and it is driving me crazy. I decided to shake things up some, so I decided that I'm going to try WW. I'm really loving it so far, but I also haven't stepped on a scale since Monday. I really, really, really want to get to my second goal. I think that would feel so awesome. I also decided that I'm going to work out even if I do hurt, or even if I start hurting, after I'm done. I've worked out 4 days this week, and I've found out that Tylenol before the workout starts seems to help. I don't hurt as much. Yeah, that gallbladder thing, *note the sarcasm* is really what is causing the pain.

I called my primary doctor yesterday because he has had my test results since Monday afternoon. He wasn't concerned at all with any of my results. He looked them over, and he didn't see any reason to refer me to anybody because I have ZERO symptoms of having a gallbladder attack. The only thing I have going on is the pain in my groin and hip area, and he didn't think that was caused from the gallbladder. Imagine that, a doctor who actually believes that there is something else going on down there besides my stupid gallbladder. To be on the safe side though, I get to go and see a surgeon now. I should know who and when that appointment is going to be with next week. I'm getting really tired of seeing the doctor. I jokingly keep saying that I would like them to remove any non-vital organ at this time. Surely one of them is the culprit or culprits for the on again and off again pain I've been experiencing. I'm pretty sure my family would agree with me.

Hubster has been working insane hours. He hasn't made it home before 8 PM any night this week and last night it was 11. He had to leave early this morning too. I talked to him for a few minutes before he left. I felt bad for him. He is so tired.

Getting Old Sucks...

2011-03-28T20:41:00.002-05:00

Went today and had an ultrasound on my gallbladder. The doctor's office called me back within two hours of being done. I have another partial diagnosis. This time I have gallstones. She is forwarding my ct scan and ultrasound test over to my primary doctor. He will determine where I go from here. I don't know if that means surgery to remove the gallbladder or what, but I still don't think the gallbladder would make me feel like my insides need to fall out.

I do have to go back to visit Dr. M on the 21. I have to go in on the 18th for an ultrasound to check the size of my cysts. All of that sounds like oodles of fun to me.

Have a partial diagnosis...

2011-03-25T18:44:00.006-05:00

I got the results back from the ct scan on Thursday. She doesn't seem to think that I'm going to need a hysterectomy after all even though last week she was adamant that I was going to be having one. I guess that is okay even though I still think there is something wrong in that area, but I can't argue with tests. I can only go with my gut feeling on this one, and my gut is telling me that there is something not right.

The ct scan shows I have something called spondyloisthesis. It causes your back to hurt. http://www.medicinenet.com/spondylolisthesis/article.htm that explains what it is. The thing that irks me is that my back has hurt for 15 years easily. Never before has it hurt in my front. The sharp pains are still there, and it still aches. Just thankfully not everyday. I can take tylenol to help with the inflammation in my back, but it doesn't touch the front pain. I asked them if I was going to have to live like this the rest of my life because I need to know. They weren't very forthcoming. I now have an ultrasound scheduled on Monday for a scan of my gallbladder to check for gallstones. I'm expecting that to come back just fine. After they get the results back on the gallbladder issue, they will set up a follow-up appointment with Dr. M. I'm going to assume at this point, that I'm not going to want to hear what she has to say.

CT Scan...

2011-03-23T14:54:00.002-05:00

was today. That was an interesting experience. That was much better than a MRI any day of the week except for the nasty tasting crap I had to drink. I'm hoping that I hear back from my doctor at the end of the week.

I still hurt, but I start to get nervous about everything turning out normal. How strange is that? I hurt, and I know I hurt. I want to know that there is a reason that I hurt, and that she can fix the reason I hurt. My biggest concern is that she will tell me things are normal, and that there really isn't any thing to fix.

Until they give me the results, I will be in a wait and see pattern.

I have lots to do to get ready for KG's birthday party. I haven't even decided what birthday cake I want to make for her. I need to hurry up and decide though because I don't have a lot of time left to make it. I'm torn between two different designs. I'm going to go with the easiest of the two though.

This is Throwing me for a Loop...

2011-03-19T13:53:00.002-05:00

I really didn't expect it to. I'm turning to the one thing that I shouldn't....FOOD. I don't even want to do my weigh in on Monday because I know it isn't going to be pretty. I'm making terrible food choices, and I'm eating to much. This is really not good. I need to purge the house of all sweets and things not good for you...PRONTO. I'm debating about rather or not to do WW in person just so I have some accountability. I know exactly what I'm doing wrong, but I continue to sabotage myself, and I don't know why.

I was wanting to have the hysterectomy, but now I'm getting worried about it. I have no idea how I'm going to manage it. From every thing I've seen, I can expect to be in the hospital from 1 to 5 days. Oh boy, what am I going to do with the girls. Then I have a 2 to 3 week recovery period where I can't do much of anything. I could try and make it until school is out, but I'm not sure if I can or not. The pain is getting to be intolerable. I have to go Monday to pick up my contrast for the ct Scan on Wednesday morning. I was supposed to do it today, but Hubster is on call at work. He ran off with my one and only set of van keys, and I'm really not happy with him at the moment. I know it was an accident, but there is a reason why we have a place to hang keys by the door. It is not to keep them in your pocket.

So, right now I'm mad. I'm disgusted with myself. I'm tired. I'm aching in my sides. I'm just all around not very happy with my lot in life. Yes, I know there are worse things going on in the world right now, and frankly, I don't really care. This is going on in my life at this moment. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this surgery coming up, and I'm not doing a very good job of it.

4 Years Ago...

2011-03-18T00:04:00.003-05:00

today, I gave birth to Princess KG. I still remember when it dawned on me that we were going to have one of those famous re-deployment babies. We were done with having kids after the boys were in school, and here I was pregnant with number 3. I was riding on the train going to meet my brother, and I was having a hard time not being sick. My mom asked me if I was okay, and I blurted out I was pregnant. I hadn't even told Hubster yet. I think I lived on crackers and 7-UP for a good 5 months. I was so sick with her. This is also when I got lucky and found the best OB/GYN in the world. She is truly one of the best out there. Not many OB's do every thing in their power to deliver their own patients. She truly has a wonderful bedside manner, and it doesn't matter to me if I might have to sit in her office and wait an hour to see her. I know that I'm waiting because she doesn't rush through her patients. She will sit and talk to you. Now back to the story of KG and her birth. It was quite an adventure. I never got sick with the boys. I was sick as a dog with KG. I had morning/noon/evening sickness for 9.5 months until the day she was born. Dr. M had to give me meds for the queasiness. I lost 22 pounds while pregnant with her. Hubster wasn't in town for the big ultrasound. He was sure we were having another boy because he just didn't make girls. Dr. M. had to get on the phone and tell him that yes, we were having a little girl. He kept saying that we were lying. I still don't think he believed us until he saw KG when she was born. The day of her birth though was another story. She was supposed to have been born on the 16th of March, but the hospital didn't have room for us. They told us to keep calling every two hours or so, and maybe a room would open up for us. We did this for 2 days. Finally on the 17th around 5 PM a room became available. They told us to hurry in because if a woman in labor beat us there, they would give the room to her. We got a really big room, and we had some great nurses. My doctor came in around 8 AM to check me and break my water. Then told me she would see me around lunch to deliver a baby. She was going to church. I told her that she wouldn't make it to church because once my water breaks, the fun begins. It is nice to know that I was right. She never made it to church. She didn't even make it back to her house. KG was born a little after 10 that morning. Here she is 4 years later a joy to have in this house. She is looking forward to today. Today is all about her. We are going out to eat for her birthday with her very favorite Aunt Margaret and Uncle Gregg. I got her a shirt that says Birthday Girl on it that she can wear. I have to make her birthday cake later on today. Going to see how well I can do this. I also have to go and get part of her birthday present. She will get the rest of it at her "kid" birthday party that will take place next Sunday the 27th. I'm not aware of very many 4 year olds that want clothes and shoes for their birthday, but those were some of her requests.

I got up to take some melatonin, and I noticed BG was still awake. She had a banana sitting beside her. She told me that she was hungry, and that she got one for KG too. The thing is that KG is asleep, so the peeled banana was sitting on KG's pillow. How sweet is that? BG went downstairs by herself in the dark, crawled up on the cabinet, and got bananas for herself and her sister. That is what I call sisterly love. Those girls are priceless, and I'm very lucky to get to stay at home with them. There are days that I have to remind myself of that.

The World Goes Around and Around and Around...

2011-03-15T20:00:00.003-05:00

The title doesn't have any thing to do with this post. I just wanted to put it on here. Yes, I'm goofy that way.

Hubster took the kids (all 4 of them) fishing today with one of his good Seabee friends. They seem to have had fun. I had a doctor's appointment with the OB/GYN. Those are always fun, but I'm done with not knowing which day I'm going to be in pain and what days I'm not. Thankfully (I guess you can say that.) today was one of those days where I was in lots of pain. To the point, where I was wanting to cry. I could accurately describe to her just what I was feeling. This has allowed us to finally, after nearly 9 months of this pain, to come to the conclusion that I need to have a hysterocetmy. She wants me to have a CT scan first to make sure that there isn't something else causing the pain, but if not, then I'm going to be having surgery. Who wants to come help me for 2 to 3 weeks with the kids when I do have the surgery? Doesn't that sound like oodles and loads of fun? At least now I know that I have some relief in the near future.

On a happier note, a few weeks ago our neighbor boy, from here on out known as Jordan, went with my boys to TnT lock in at church. This is an Awana thing. They asked him to go with him. On the way over, he informed me that he had never been to church before. Never even been inside a church. He really enjoyed it, and we told him that he could come with us again. He didn't get to go on Sunday, but he did go with us this past Wednesday to Awanas. He loved it. He wanted to go with us last Sunday. He went to Sunday school and children's church Sunday morning with the boys, and on Sunday night he went to what we call "big" church. In other words, he went to the main sanctuary to hear our pastor speak. We were sitting at supper on Sunday night, and he tells us that when Pastor started preaching, that he thought, "Dude, you don't have to yell. We can hear you." Then he realized that he was excited about what he was preaching, and that he had a microphone. Hubster and I busted out laughing. Pastor is going to get a kick out of this. Jordan wanted to know if we had church on Wednesday night because he knew that he didn't have Awanas. We told him yes, that Wednesday is going to be "big" church. He said he couldn't wait to go and hear Pastor preach again. That makes me so happy to hear him say that. Guess he is going to church with us now.

Seabee Ball 2011

2011-03-13T23:08:00.009-05:00

Some of my very favorite wives in the world. For some reason we get tagged as the trouble makers. I have no idea why that would be. We never got into trouble. We just always have a good time where ever we happen to be.

Hubster and I during the Ball.

My very dear friend FD who I happened to meet in the LAX airport before our hubbies first deployment. I still thank God every day for that chance meeting because I have what I consider one of my very dear friends because of it. She is truly what is defined as a Seabee Sister.

Hubster and I before we left the house.

It was Seabee Ball time in our neck of the woods. Let me first say that this was probably the very BEST ball that I have ever been to. The committee did a fantastic job. My hat is off to them. Hubster and I had a ball, literally. I can't remember the last time I danced. Well, I can. Let me just say it was around 14 years ago. I remember how much I love it. It always amazes me how quickly that you just pick right back up where you left off with some of the wives that have been in the trenches with you. It was like that you saw them last week and not six months ago. We really had a great time, and I'm so glad that we went.

The Weeks that Were...

2011-03-06T21:38:00.003-06:00

Hubster made it home on Saturday. His class ended Friday at lunch, but he wasn't allowed to leave until Saturday. He was able to get on an earlier flight though. AA had to get permission to let him go standby, but he got on it. When he got home, we went ball gown shopping. That was fun. NOT. I hate shopping for dresses or clothes period. The only good thing that came out of it was that the dress is the exact size that I was wearing 14 years ago, and I never thought I would see the day that I wore that size again. I wasn't expecting to be able to wear a size that small. Yea Me! Hubster picked out the dress because I was having a hard time deciding. He liked this one the best on me, so that is what I got. We are debating on rather or not to spend the night at the hotel that the ball is being held at or not. I want to in a way, but I think that has more to do that I would love an evening away from the kids than anything else. I'm the one that has to deal with them 24/7. I don't want to spend any more money than we already have for this thing. Plus, we found some really cool cabins that I want to stay at in April. I can't do both. I don't have a sitter that will cooperate with that one. :)

We made plans with some friends of ours for a couples night out in April. I'm looking forward to that too. It is sad that we get so busy that we had to plan for a date in April.

New Month...

2011-03-01T14:29:00.003-06:00

I can't believe that March is already here. It just amazes me. I was watching Glenn Beck yesterday while I was prepping supper, and KB wants to know why all of these bad things are happening. For those of you that are not aware of it, which shouldn't be that many since I don't make it a secret, we are a church going family. We are there just about every time the door is open. I explain to him that I believe, as does our pastor, that we are looking at the return of Jesus soon. It is really awe inspiring and exciting at the same time. He tells me that he can't wait to see Jesus. That gave me a warm fuzzy.

Hubster got to go and see his grandma this weekend. He went up to see her Friday night, and he went back to Hueneme on Sunday. He had a good time, and that makes me happy. I took the girls to the zoo on Saturday with another Seabee wife and her little boy. We had such a good time. BG keeps asking to go and see the lions. I should have just bit the bullet and bought the season pass. Then we could go whenever we wanted to. The boys didn't want to go with me, so they went with Grandma instead. She said they were excellent.

Tonight is Ladies Fellowship at church. Need to get supper prepped for everybody, and I have to make my finger food. Wonder if salad is considered a finger food? We have plates and forks there. I would prefer to fix that instead of something else. I must say that I make a really good salad with feta cheese, dried cranberries, and pecans.

Hubster is due home on Saturday, and I'm ready to see him. He asked to if he could go home on Friday because class will be done at noon, but he can't . They even had 2 flights out of LAX that would have worked.

GRRRRRRR...This Seabee Wife Thing

2011-02-21T16:28:00.004-06:00

at times just gets on my last nerve. Today has been one of those days that it is getting on my nerves. Hubster left yesterday for Hueneme for a 2 week class. That is fine. He really needs to go to these classes. The funny thing is that class doesn't start until Tuesday because of the holiday. That means that he went a visiting yesterday and today. I'm fine with that. He got to see his mom and his dad. That isn't why the Seabee wife thing is getting on my nerves today though. I'm just irritated that he really didn't have to be in Hueneme until today. Enjoy the holiday that you got. I'm going to remember it, and I want one too. :)

The kids were out of school today for President's Day. The boys have science fair projects due on Thursday, and once again Hubster is not here to help make sure they get done. That falls to me yet again. I asked him to please, please make sure that TB had help with his. He waited until Friday night to get the stuff to even do it. Saturday we had things that needed to be done...aka shopping. We didn't make it home until late, so I told him that I would take care of it today. What other choice did I have? I again, thank you Navy, get to make sure that things get done at school for the boys. I told Hubster last year that he was going to get to do the boys projects this year. That didn't happen. I'm going to get to make sure they get done again.

Yesterday and Today...

2011-02-16T15:29:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was Time Out for Me with our church. We went to an antique mall and had lunch at a tea room. It was so nice to get away from the kids for a bit and talk to real adults. I had an episode while there though, and when those episodes happen they wipe me out. Nothing like feeling cold, clammy, dizzy, queasy, and that you are fixing to pass out. I ended up going outside to sit in hopes that I would get to feeling better. When these episodes pass, I'm usually so wiped out that all I want to do is sleep. I wasn't much company going back to the church after our outing. I just wanted to sleep, and I was concentrating on not throwing up. That is how bad it is. After I got the girls, I came home and laid down for about 30 minutes. That is the amount of time that Barney ran on the tv. Thankfully, I was feeling a little better, so I made supper. *as a side note...I will never buy jarred spaghetti sauce again after learning how to make it in less than 30 minutes* The effects though were still lingering, and I went to bed around 815 after supper dishes were done. I laid down, but the kids kept me awake with having to deal with them. Hubster was downstairs working on Navy things. I did go to sleep around 9 though. I don't even know when he came upstairs to bed.

I woke up today feeling good. It has been the best I have felt in a bit until about 15 minutes ago. I haven't had a full blown episode but a partial one. My head is hurting, and I'm feeling fuzzy. I hate the fuzzy feeling. It makes me feel like I've been on a bender when I haven't. I'm hoping it goes away. Tonight is church night too. Looking forward to it, but I really don't want to have to deal with the fuzziness. It just needs to go away completely.

BG is in the midst of the terrible twos, and I frankly don't have the energy to deal with her. I hate potty training, and we are in the midst of that too. We are about 75/25 trained now. It is that 25% that drives me insane. KG is growing so quickly. We are a month away from her being 4. I'm waiting to hear from MIL about when would be the best time for her to fly from Sacremento to here for a visit. I've got to find out what Hubster is needing to pack for his trip to Hueneme. I want to go to Hueneme with him. I love Hueneme.

Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-14T13:44:00.005-06:00

Need to finish up Hubster's gift. We said we had a limit of $25 per person, and we needed to get creative with it. We are going on a weekend getaway in April, so this is just something that is thought about. I hope he likes what I've gotten him so far.

I'm having health issues again, and I'm worried enough about them that I don't want to call the doctor because I fear what they will find. That is a very stupid reason why not to call. I know. Only a few people know what is going on. My mom told me yesterday that I looked pale. It is probably because I'm not feeling good. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. I will eventually get up the nerve to call, but I'm not a big fan of my primary doctor. This is the one time that I don't like Tricare. There isn't a whole lot of choices. I love how much it costs to go and the amount of my premium every month though, so we will stick it out.

Hubster had drill this weekend, so we didn't do very much of anything. Saturday night Hubster and I went to our Sunday school class Valentine's party. It was at a fancy steak house. They normally charge $30+ per plate. No way would I pay that much for that place. It was good, but it wasn't $30 a plate good. The service wasn't all of that great either. We still had a really good time though.

I have days where I feel extra fat, and yesterday was one of them. I hate when I have those feel fat days. It is those days I wonder why I went through with the lapband because I'm still fat. In a given month, I will gain 2 pounds in a week, and then the next week lose 4 to 7 pounds. It is very annoying, and I'm basically doing the same things. I keep telling myself that the end game is what I'm looking for, so as long as I have a negative number on that scale then we are good. I still have 99.5 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight, and at times it seems so far away. I know I've lost over 80 pounds now, but it is still so far away. I just have to keep plugging along.

The girls have been stinkers today. BG ran from me in the store. When I finally caught her, she got her hiney spanked. I'm not usually one to spank the kids in public, but I wasn't very happy. See above about how run down I feel, and you can see why I wasn't happy.

Proverbs 31 Woman

2011-02-10T21:34:00.003-06:00

That is what I want to be. It is such a hard struggle for me. I'm trying. I really am, but it is hard. I found 2 wonderful websites www.proverbs31.org and www.crosswalk.com. I get 5 or 6 daily devotionals a day from both of them combined. They are wonderful. I believe I have said that.

Today I decided that I'm going to try and make my own laundry soap. I've got some recipes that my high school teacher sent to me. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I was going to go grocery shopping on base this weekend, when I realized that Hubster has drill. Oops, I forgot. My id is expired, and I need to get it renewed. I really need to get some shopping done. Maybe I can somehow make an appointment and get it on Saturday. I will have to check to see if Hubster might be able to meet me at the id office to get it taken care of.

I had 2 of the 4 kids sick today, and it wasn't a pleasant day. BG was running fever all day until now. She is now like a little ball of energy running all over the place. KB is still down for the count. Hope he is feeling better tomorrow.

Our Weather is Bipolar...

2011-02-09T15:47:00.002-06:00

Today it is in the teens with wind chills below zero. The boys were home from school today because of the ice. Sunday it is supposed to be near 70. I'm looking forward to the warmth. I also know that we are getting closer to summer time and the 100+ degree days, and I'm not looking forward to them. I'm not a hot weather type of lady. You can't take off enough clothes to stay cool, but you certainly can put on enough clothes to stay warm. As I get older, I've noticed that I despise the heat more and more. I thought it would be the other way around, but it isn't.

Hubster is getting ready to head to Port Hueneme for a couple of weeks. He leaves next Sunday. I'm not looking forward to it, but it is what it is. He has a class for the Seabees. It is coming time for him to reenlist, and he still isn't sure if he is going to stay a Bee or go in another direction. I'm hoping to go and get my dress for the Seabee Ball in the next couple of weeks. I don't have much time left before I need to get me one. I also need to set up appointments for hair and nails and all of that fun stuff.

Thankfully work has picked up a bit. I've been working on 3 or 4 different trips that will end up paying pretty well if they book. I know for a fact that at least 2 of them will. I also have a customer leaving on Sunday for a trip. I wish it was me going. I like to travel though, so I'm always wishing it was me going.

It looks like we will be going to California in December for Christmas. We haven't been out there for the holidays in 6 years, so this looks like a good time to go. I love the Bay area. Hopefully we can do some more sightseeing. I really should load in the pictures of all the windmills I took when we were there in October. I love windmills. They are so peaceful. I know I'm strange.

It Was My Birthday...

2011-02-07T08:38:00.002-06:00

Let me just say...IT SUCKED. Yes, it really did. My SIL flew in from California on Thursday evening. She is set to go back home this evening. Friday was my actual birthday. It snowed, so Hubster didn't go to work. It was a common theme for him last week. He might have gotten 20 hours in maybe. That is if we are lucky. We took the kids sledding on a huge hill by the house. They had a ball, and so did we. SIL took us all out to lunch on Friday for my birthday to the best burger place in the world. It was so good, but I ate to much. Then the birthday went down hill. Don't want to go into it, but Hubster knows what happened. He knows what went wrong, and he apologized for the birthday that sucked. We shall just leave it at that.

We have had a wonderful time with SIL though. MIL is scheduled to come for a visit in April. We are going to buy her an airline ticket when our income tax deposits. We would love to have her. We are looking forward to it.

We are in the market for a newer vehicle. I want one that can haul everybody that I will actually drive.

Other than all of the excitement of the ice and snow last week, not much is going on around here. We are busy from now until the end of March. We have something going on just about every weekend. This weekend is our Sunday school VDay party. We are eating at a fancy shmancy restaurant that is adults only. It should be a good time.

It was a Decent Weekend...

2011-01-31T09:55:00.002-06:00

Saturday started out with Hubster attempting to bring me breakfast in bed. He had it made, and he was bringing it upstairs. I just happened to be headed downstairs though while he was headed upstairs with it. It is the thought that counts though. We ended up going to Sprouts and on base for grocery shopping. Shouldn't have to go back to the store for 2 weeks except for bread, milk, and eggs. I made sure to get enough food to last for 2 weeks. We have so much food that it wouldn't fit in our tiny pantry, so I was telling Hubster that we needed some shelves for the area underneath our stairs. We have a full size door to get under them. We had some book shelves that aren't being used, so he decided to clean it out and install the shelves for me. That led to him saying it is dark in there, so he installed a light. Now, I just need some more low shelves for the back that I can put some of our kitchen appliances that aren't used as often. I must say that I really do love them. I'm really loving my new "pantry". Now, I just need to finish loading the shelves with food and things.

I'm still struggling with the sadness as my birthday approaches. Don't have any idea what is wrong with me. I hope it goes away soon. Tomorrow night is Ladies Fellowship at church, and I'm hoping that I get to go. I need to figure out what to fix as my finger food though.

We were going to take a vacation with our tax return, but I think we have decided to use that money and purchase a travel trailer instead. That would last longer, and we all love to camp. I'm getting excited about this, and we hopefully can start looking soon for a trailer.

The Sadness is creeping in...

2011-01-28T12:44:00.002-06:00

I can feel it over taking me today. One thing is that I'm lonely. Nobody to talk to all day. Then at night, I feel like I'm doing every thing myself without help. The kids have driven me crazy this week. TB got in trouble on Wednesday because he wouldn't let his grandma use his phone at school. I took the phone away from him for a week, and I thought I had handled the situation. I was telling Hubster what was going on, and he jumped down TB's throat. Then grounded him for 2 weeks. Guess my opinion doesn't make much of a difference on how to deal with the situation. That makes me feel oh so good. That same day I had to deal with KB and his school work yet again. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with school work not making it to his teacher. KB was supposed to have a sleepover tonight, but that got cancelled. It was for his birthday. I feel bad about having to do that, but he has to understand that his school work is important.

BG is in the midst of potty training. We are on week 2 of no diapers or pullups except at night. This hasn't been fun. She is about 50% there, and I'm sure we will get there sooner rather than later. The weather has been wonderful around here, and I put some shorts on KG. She has grown so much. She can't wear a 2T or even a 3T any more. I can't believe how big she is.

Next Friday is my birthday, and I'm not looking forward to it. I had told Hubster that I wanted a birthday party, but he hasn't done any thing (that I'm aware of) to get it together. I really shouldn't have to ask, but after last years debacle I figure I would rather ask. Now, I don't even want any thing done. Guess I'm not feeling the love right now from anybody. Feeling taken advantage of and frankly, like nobody cares. All I want is somebody to tell me that I'm doing a good job. I would love a thank you. I don't think I'm asking for to much, but I can tell you that I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS TOO LATE TO PLAN ANY THING, SO I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT IT.

Why is time flying by so fast?

2011-01-18T13:22:00.002-06:00

It has been another week since my last post. Not much really going on here. Hubster is submitting his packet to see if he can go active duty in a support role. I'm fine with that. It is whatever he wants to do. He still likes his job, and he is working lots of hours. Last night he finally made it home at midnight. It made for a long day for him.

We were supposed to go to a friend's surprise birthday party on Friday night, but Hubster got stuck at work until nearly 10 PM. We had to bail on that one. Saturday night I met up with my regular Seabee wives for dinner and a movie. We went and saw Black Swan. It was a really good weird movie, and Natalie Portman deserves any honors that she gets. She does an amazing job in that movie. I want to see it again just so I can figure out what I might have missed. On Sunday, we went to church in the morning, and then Hubster and I went and saw Riverdance. It was really, really good. We really enjoyed the show.

The girls got in an argument this morning because BG said she wasn't a princess and that neither was KG. KG didn't take kindly to being told that she wasn't a princess. They really crack me up.

We are getting ready for my SIL's visit to our home the first week of February. We will know later this week if my nephew is coming with her. If he does, then she plans on staying longer than a few days. She also talked about bringing out MIL. I don't really care what they do. It doesn't matter to me. I'm okay with whichever they decide to do.

I've lost 85 pounds now since March. I'm so proud of that fact. I've worked hard to lose that amount. A friend of mine had the surgery yesterday, and she sent me a message this morning. Seems that yesterday was very rough on her. She had to be rushed to the ER because she couldn't breath. She had been throwing up all afternoon, and it had irritated her esophagus. They gave her an IV and some meds to make her esophagus quit spasming. She she felt better this morning even though she felt like she had been ran over by a train. I hope she is feeling better this afternoon.

I Love the USO

2011-01-10T14:23:00.003-06:00

I'm a fan of the USO. They are an amazing group of people. We have used them numerous times when we have been at the airport. They are so friendly and helpful. Friday the USO where we are at put out a status message on their FB page announcing they had free hockey tickets for military personnel and their families. I happened to be online when this popped up, and I had an email sent off to them in less than a minute. I got an immediate response back that 4 tickets to the Friday night hockey game would be waiting at the platinum will call window. We had 4 seats in a suite. We took the boys, and we had a ball. It was the first hockey game that they had ever been to, and I might have hockey converts on my hands.

I lost 9 pounds last week, and that made me extremely happy. I worked hard at it. I started potty training BG today. I'm sick of diapers. I don't want to see another diaper ever. I love my babies, but I'm ready for them to be a it older.

What I've learned over the last 3 days...

2011-01-04T22:30:00.002-06:00

I've actually learned some about myself. We had a Bible conference at church over the last 3 days. To those of you that aren't Baptist, that is called a revival. I hadn't ever heard it called that before we started going to church where we go. I learned that I enjoy going to church so much, that I believe that I could go every day. There is no other place I would rather be. There is nothing that I wouldn't rather be doing than sitting in God's house listening to His word. I figured out today that I could download sermons from some of my favorite preachers onto my phone. Who knew that would make me so happy?

Last year at this time I was really struggling with my faith. If you have been reading for any length of time, you will know this. I never made it into a big secret. I struggled. I struggled a lot. It wasn't pleasant. I was having a hard time making myself go to church, and the only thing that kept me going even semi-regularly were the kids. I could take church or leave it, and it was nothing more than Satan hammering at me that nobody cared about me. When nobody would ask me what I needed while Hubster was gone, I had this devil sitting on my shoulder telling me, "See, nobody cares about you." I felt so lost and alone, and then something changed right after the first of the year. It was actually at last year's Bible conference. It was then that I decided that I didn't want to be this lukewarm making every excuse in the book not to go to church. I always had an excuse. It was late. The kids needed to be in bed at a certain time. I was too tired. Nobody cared if I was there or not. The list went on and on. I always had an excuse. I decided then and there last year, that I was going to go to church. There would be no more excuses, and the most amazing thing happened. I became a happier person. I had a peace that passes all understanding even while Hubster was gone. I still sometimes get the nagging doubts about being liked or nobody caring, but it is nothing like it was. When those doubts start creeping in, I tell Satan to go away. I also wanted to be there. The more I went, the more I wanted to be there. I would go no matter what. I even went to church the day before Hubster was due home. I hate missing church now. We actually plan events around church, so we don't miss any days.

I see friends and family that used to be those regular church goers. They were there for every service. They never missed, and now some of them don't even go to church. It is such a slippery slope. It is so easy to say I will miss just Wednesday nights, but I'm still going on Sundays. Before you know it, you start missing those Sunday night services. It just gets easier and easier to make an excuse why not to go. Then you even stop making excuses. You just stop going. Believe me I've been there. I didn't go to church for nearly 15 years. We always had an excuse. Then it got to a point where it didn't matter. We didn't need an excuse any more. We just didn't go. It took 2 Sunday morning services listening to our now pastor to touch my heart. I knew that church was where I needed to be. It was where I wanted to be. That conviction that the Holy Spirit puts on you is something amazing to behold. It will bring you to your knees asking for forgiveness. We haven't missed but a few services in the past 4 years except for the time that I struggled while Hubster was away. I can say that since he has returned, we have missed at the most 5 services. We do every thing in our power to make sure that we are there sitting in our place.

I don't know why this post was laid on my heart, but I felt the need to share.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T14:39:00.002-06:00

I can't believe that 2010 has come to an end. What a year it was. Last New Year's Eve was probably the most horrible New Year's Eve on record. The memory of that day is still vivid in my mind. Nothing like having a panic attack right at midnight. Thankfully that wasn't how my year ended up being. 2010 was actually a very kind year to my family. Even with every thing that happened towards the end.

April saw Hubster safely home from Iraq from his second deployment. August saw me through a surgery that has helped me lose 73 pounds so far. October brought us to Hubster losing his job at the end of the year. December brought Hubster a new job that so far he loves. It also brought us more money at his new job. It brought us my brother coming home after being away for 6.5 years. It has been so nice to have both of my brothers nearby. Even though they both can be a pain in my butt, I still love them. I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us.

Last night we had 3 couples come over for New Year's Eve. They were from my Sunday School class. Love spending time with an amazing group of people. We had some snack foods and played dominoes until after the New Year. We had so much fun. We laughed and laughed. I didn't get to invite every body that I would have liked to. We did end up with a houseful of people. We are really going to have to do that more often.

Tomorrow starts our church's annual Bible conference. I can't wait. I'm hoping it as good as it has been the last couple of years.

Happy Anniversary

2010-12-19T20:56:00.002-06:00

to my darling, sweet, wonderful, husband. Today was our 12 year anniversary. I truthfully can't believe it has been 12 years. He got me a new G2 for our anniversary, and he gave it to me yesterday. I LOVE IT!!!! I have been wanting one for a while now, and I would prefer that much more than any piece of jewelry (except a new wedding ring). Tonight he had our pastor surprise me with a renewing of our wedding vows. This was so extra special to me because the first time we got married, we weren't in church. He wasn't even saved. This time we are both actively involved in church and are saved. It is a big difference that 12 year makes. It made the vows that much more special. I couldn't have asked for a better anniversary weekend.

Saturday Hubster took the boy children on a boys day out. They went and saw Tron and had some lunch. TB told Hubster that it was the best day that he has had in forever. They both asked Hubster to do it more often. TB even posted about the wonderful day he had on Facebook. Talk about bring a tear to my eye. That was extra sweet to me. Saturday night Hubster and I went on a date. We left the house around 6 and hit up Bath and Body thanks to a $20 giftcard that I had. I think Twilight Woods is my new favorite sent. I love it. Afterwards we weren't hungry yet, so we went to see The Fighter. It had gotten such rave reviews. I was disappointed in it. It was a good movie but not a great movie. The language in it was horrible. They really didn't need it. We ended up going to Outback after the movie, and it was the second time in a row that the food wasn't all that great. I doubt we will go back. We still had a good time overall.

Today was family day. We took the kids to see Megamind on base. It was cute, but I'm glad we didn't go to the theater where it cost an arm and a leg to see it. We did some grocery shopping after that, and then we went to church. I've already posted what happened at church. It was just an amazing two days with the most wonderful man.

He is really loving his job. I'm hoping that it stays that way. He leaves tomorrow for 3 days for work. I'm not looking that forward to it, but they pay him extra money for that. He certainly put in a lot of hours last week.

I've got lots of Christmas to still buy. I'm hoping that my friend might get to come over next week to do some baking with her kids and mine. Then I'm hoping that Felecia might be able to meet up the week after Christmas for some lunch. I've really missed her.

My oh My How Things have Changed....

2010-12-08T09:48:00.002-06:00

since I last posted. It has been super duper hectic and exciting what has happened recently.

1. Hubster was offered a job making around $10,000 - $20,000 a year more than he was. He starts on Monday. He is nervous and excited. He hopes that it works out, and that he likes working for them. He also is getting a company vehicle, so that means no wear and tear on our personal vehicles plus they pay for gas. It also means that it looks like we will be able to move in February or March.

2. We found out on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving that my brother, who has been in prison for nearly 7 years made parole. He actually got out yesterday. He is going to be staying with us. He looks good, but he seems like a fish out of water. He promises that he will never go back. I hope so. They told us it will take about 2 weeks for him to get acclimated back to civilian life.

3. One of the first graders where the boys go to school passed away last Monday after a 2.5 year battle with cancer. Her mom is a teacher up at the school, so they didn't have school on Friday. It was the day of her funeral. Her mom sent out a message that said that Maddie had not been responsive for over 2 days, and on Monday she smiled and reached up her arms. Her mom said that she went to be in Jesus's arms. What a wonderful thought. We know that one day we will see Maddie again. She is now pain free.

All of the kids are doing excellent. They are all growing like weeds. Hubster and I have an anniversary coming up very soon. We are trying to figure out what we are going to do.

Reflecting

2010-11-17T10:16:00.002-06:00

That has been what I have been doing lately. I've been reflecting on life. I've been reflecting on where I want to be, and where I want to go. Hubster is still jobless, but he is at least working at a temp job for now. It is supposed to end on Friday, but it looks promising that they might keep him on for some other projects for a little longer. He also has a job interview on Thursday. That job would be semi-permanent. It is for a project that is expected to last nearly 2 years. The pay on that one is more than he made at his last job, so saying prayers and crossing our fingers that something will pan out. It isn't doing what he likes to do though, but he will do it. He wants to go back to school and get a degree in criminal justice. He wants to be a police officer. At least that is what he wants to be at this moment in time. It will probably change in a few weeks or months. He has been talking about switching branches or even rates when his contract expires in June. I don't care what he does really. I just want things done.

I've been worried about how we are going to do Christmas. We haven't seen a paycheck in 3 weeks, so we are now behind on every thing. It isn't a fun experience, and it about kills me to know that Christmas is just around the corner, and it doesn't look good.

I did get to go out with some friends a couple of Saturdays ago. We went and saw Red and ate at BJ's. We had a good time as usual, but next get together is in January. We are going to do a day of it instead of the evening.

Hubster and I are coming up on our anniversary. Don't know if we are going to get to do any thing. It is going to depend on the job situation. I'm hoping that we get to.

It has been a month

2010-11-05T07:53:00.002-05:00

and I'm actually going to post something. Life around here has been hectic to say the least. The weight loss is still going down, but it isn't going down as quickly. I had only lost 6.5 pounds since my last fill. I was disappointed in myself, and he told me not to be. That I had lost weight, and I didn't gain. I've just got to get back on the right track. That is me saying that. I still averaged a weight loss of a pound a week.

We went to California a few weeks ago. That was a great trip up until the end when his father decided to create a bunch of drama. It is to the point, that I don't know if we will ever see him again. I know I won't see him again. I've washed my hands of the man. I will not stop Hubster from seeing him if he so chooses. His grandma cried when she saw us at her surprise party. She had no idea that we were coming out. Every few minutes she would walk up and hug one of us. She kept asking if we were really there. It was a great time. It really was.

Hubster lost his job last Friday. It seems to be a blessing in disguise. He talked to one of the guys he was working with, and they are only working every other week. He can make more money drawing unemployment than doing that. He had a job interview yesterday, and he has another one this morning. Hopefully something pans out soon. The stress is going to do me in. I hate having all of this stress in my life. I will start looking for work next week. He can stay at home with the kids while I work, and he draws unemployment. That is what we are hoping for any way. I'm hoping it doesn't come down to that.

I'm a huge Texas Ranger fan. I've watched them since I was 14. I've loved them the entire time, and this year I was so excited to see them make it to the World Series. They certainly deserved it. They seem to be a class act. I can't wait till next year.

Last Week...

2010-10-04T07:37:00.002-05:00

Was very eventful. I had my doctor's appointments lined up for Thursday. Went for my yearly physical to my OB/GYN. Left there feeling even more frustrated than when I went in. I've got a list of questions that I need answered that I didn't even think about asking while I was there after I got a partial diagnosis. I was very frustrated when I left her office to the point that I wanted to cry. I wasn't frustrated with her. I was frustrated with feeling like I'm in a holding pattern, and that there isn't an end in sight. That I have to keep dealing with the issues that I've been having, and that I just need to suck it up and deal with them. At this point, I would just prefer that every thing would be surgically removed since I don't need in any more. I also went to my surgeon for a fill. They were very happy with my weight loss. My port site was sore though after he added some more saline to my band. I've lost a total of 45 pounds since June 30. I'm so excited about that. I didn't want to weigh this morning because I felt like I have eaten nothing but junk all weekend. I lost 2.5 more pounds since Thursday though, so I will be happy and content with it.

KG and TB went to see my brothers this weekend. They went with my parents. They left Saturday afternoon, so it was just Hubster and I with BG and KB. I forgot how easy having to deal with only 2 kids is. We took them to see Alpha and Omega. It was a really cute movie, and BG sat through the entire movie. Every once in a while she would holler out Cocoa (the name of our dog) when she would see one of the wolves. Afterwards we took them out to eat at Chilis. We let KB pick the location. Shane (my younger of the 2 brothers, and the one who is in prison) got to meet KG for the first time. He has only seen her in pictures, and he talks to her on the phone when he calls. She took right to him, and I'm so glad. He got to hold her and kiss on her. Hopefully this will be his year to finally get out. We keep saying that, but at least the end is actually in site. His schedule for release is Dec. 2014. Who knew that shooting somebody with a pellet gun would get you 10 years in prison. He didn't have any idea that it would hurt somebody like it would. They also got to spend the night with my oldest brother. He loves KG to death. He was looking forward to seeing her since they moved.

TB's football team won their game on Friday night, and he actually got a few tackles. He kept getting to the quarter back, and his coach was telling him what a great job he was doing. We also found out that the coach had been talking about him to the principal. It was all good though. She just loves the boys, and she doesn't want to see them get hurt. She was trying to convince Coach to let TB be the manager for the varsity, and he told her no that TB was turning out to be a good football player. He was to good to take off of the team. That made TB actually grin when we told him.

KB lost their first football game. They couldn't get any thing going against the other team. I've noticed that the past couple of games though that their offensive line isn't all that great. We shall see how the rest of the season plays out. That was their one and only loss.

Over The Hump...

2010-09-27T08:30:00.003-05:00

or at least it feels like it. I think my body is finally getting it. It finally knows what it is supposed to do. Last week was 4 pounds lost. This week was 2.5 pounds lost, and that was without exercising.

Saturday was BG's birthday party. She had so much fun. Two of my best friends came over with their kids. They had never met each other, and I'm glad that they finally did. I love them both so much. They each keep me laughing and on my toes. One of them has gone through the deployments with me, and the other one helped me through very bad PPD with KG. Which is actually how we became such good friends. Amazing how that through the roughest of times in your life, God puts somebody in your path to help you along. I'm still amazed at how I met Felecia. Who knew that sitting in an airport in L.A. would end up giving you one of your dearest friends in the world.

I go on Thursday to 3 appointments. Nita is going to come and watch the girls for me, so that way I don't have to drag them around with me. I have to have an ultrasound done so Dr. M. can see what is going on with my insides. Hopefully we can figure it out and get the problem corrected without to much hassle. I have a fill after seeing Dr. M. I'm sure that is going to be exciting.

We are less than 4 weeks until California vacation. Getting excited about seeing Hubster's family. At least we get to get out of our state for a while.

Friday night TB got to play over half the game. He was very excited afterwards, or at least as far as I could tell. You have to love 12 year olds, and their lovely attitudes. They won 76 to 41. I felt bad for the other team. They only had 6 players, and they were all small. Small as in the size of my 10 year old. Coach let his 2nd string play pretty much the entire game. Saturday it rained all morning, so KB's football game was pushed back an hour. He didn't get to play, but we went any way. His team won 36 to 0. They are now 4 and 0. He gets to start playing again today. He is very excited about it. We have to go and get him arm pads, and hopefully that will help protect his arm.

Nearly 2 weeks...

2010-09-23T16:11:00.002-05:00

and nothing much of excitement happening in my life right now. Met up with some other Seabee Wives on Saturday for a Girl's Night Out. That was a riot. I love those 3. They kept me sane when others couldn't while Hubster was deployed. Saturday is KG's birthday party. That should be fun and exciting. She is a hoot.

KB got hurt at practice a week and a half ago. We spent 3 hours in the ER getting his arm x-rayed. Thankfully it wasn't broken. It was just sprained and bruised. He is out of football until next Monday. That makes him missing 2 games. They are still 3 and 0. They should win on Saturday also.

TB is starting to struggle in school. I don't know what his problem is. I get so tired and frustrated with dealing with it.

The girls are growing, growing, growing. We bought our airline tickets for California. I'm so glad that we don't have to drive it. That would have been a long drive.

Hubster is still working, but he has decided that he is going to talk to a recruiter sooner rather than later. I don't care what he does. As long as he enjoys doing it. I'm hoping to go back to school next semester. I think I have said that just about every semester. I really do mean it this time. I really need a job. Any body out there hiring?

Long Weekend

2010-09-07T13:51:00.003-05:00

Friday was the very first game ever at the boys school. They have had a football team for a few years now, but they have never gotten to play at the school. They have always had to rent a field somewhere else. Friday night was the very first time that they got to play at home. They lost. Friday we also found out that Maddie, a 6 year old little girl with cancer, only has 2 to 12 months left. It breaks my heart for her family. She is such a sweet little thing. She was at the game Friday night. She is extremely tired from the chemo that they are doing to help with her pain. They are going to do it for 6 weeks only. The doctor told her parents to pray for a miracle, so that is what we are going to do. We are going to pray for a miracle. I do know that any thing is possible with God.

Saturday was BG's 2nd birthday. We are having her party on the 25th. I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to cook either enchiladas or lasagna. I need something that I can make the day before, and just shove it in the oven on the 25th. KB had his first football game, and they won.

Sunday we went and got the kids' new bedding. I love them all. They all seem to like it too. KG actually picked her bedding out. It is really cute.

Monday was just a day of cleaning. I still have more cleaning to do. I will get finished with it one of these days soon.

Gee Whiz...

2010-09-02T13:18:00.002-05:00

I thought that losing weight would help with my blood pressure. That would be a nope. It has gone up, so I get to go to the doctor this afternoon. Oh joy. At least I get to weigh. I also found a knot on my shoulder that I need to have him check out. It hurts, so I don't think it is any thing major. It just hurts, and it bothers me. I didn't notice it until yesterday.

Not very much going on around here. Going to go sometime this weekend and get the kids new bedding. They all desperately need it. I want to get their rooms done, and then I hope to work on mine. I hate every thing in my room. Well, except for Hubster. I kind of like him. Hubster will actually have a 3 day weekend, so I think we are going to visit my new great-niece on Sunday after church. I need to find out about practice on Monday for the boys. That will determine just exactly what we are going to do. I'm just looking forward to relaxing. It seems to have been a long time, since we have gotten to do that.

Another Week and 4 pounds Gone Again...

2010-08-31T10:15:00.002-05:00

I could get used to this amount of weight loss. I'm really enjoying it. I also started back at the gym yesterday. Hubster made it home from work around 4, so I went ahead and went. I'm glad that I did. I felt so much better after I worked out. I was actually amazed at how well my body was behaving itself. I wasn't tired, so I upped my time on the treadmill. That felt wonderful. I still want to do the couch to 5K program. I think I'm going to make it a goal to actually run a 5k.

I noticed a change in the way that my clothes fit on Sunday. I think it was the first time that it actually hit me that my body is actually changing. I had gotten dressed for church, and I happened to look in the mirror. My shirt looked like it was a tent. It was a wonderful feeling. I've been able to put on shirts that are a size smaller than I was wearing. I put on a tshirt yesterday that I used to have to stretch out, or it felt tight. I didn't have to do that yesterday. I think I'm going to buy the Zumba tapes to help me work out at home, and I still want to make it to the gym on top of that.

BG turns 2 on Saturday, and I still haven't figured out when I'm going to do her birthday. We are so busy right now on Saturdays and Sundays that I just don't know. I was going to do it on the 12th of September, but that doesn't work because Hubster has drill. I might push it off to October again like I did last year. Even though October is not any better for us. We have vacation coming up in October to California. I'm looking forward to it.

Hubster and I are doing fantastic. I'm still amazed at what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time the girls and I were in Gulfport preparing to send Hubster to Iraq. We actually left to come home on BG's birthday. Thinking that was going to be our last time to see him for 8 months. He is still planning on trying to go active duty when his contract expires.

TB's football team lost their first game. He plays again on Friday at 5. KB's first football game is this Saturday at 2 PM. I'm not looking forward to sitting in the heat. It doesn't appeal to me any at all.

Blah...

2010-08-24T13:02:00.002-05:00

That is how I'm feeling. I'm lonely. I have nobody to talk to during the day but the girls, and then don't feel like I have any body to talk to at night. Everybody comes home from work, and that is when I get busy. I have to get supper made for 8 people, get the boys to and from practice, and everybody comes in and goes their separate ways. At least that is the way that I feel. This depression that I'm in is not helping out on the home front. I have no motivation to do any thing, including cleaning the house. This is not a good cycle that I'm in right now, and I need to break it.

At least the weight is coming off again. That does make me feel better. I had my first fill yesterday. That was cool. I got to see my band actually work. They put in 3 -4 cc in my 10 cc band. They say it takes between 3 - 6 fills to get to your sweet spot. The spot where your not hungry in between meals.

The boys passed all of their tests with A's and B's last week. I'm very proud of them. That is a wonderful way to start off a new school year.

I'm going to try and get the girls back on a schedule, but I need help in moving around furniture in their room. I want them to get used to sleeping in their rooms at least at nap time. KG is now officially potty trained. Now, I have to start working on BG. She turns two in 11 days. Where has the time gone? My baby is growing up.

Another Week and another 4 pounds gone...

2010-08-22T12:49:00.002-05:00

Never to be heard from again. After struggling last week with the fact that the 3 pounds I lost reappeared, I wasn't very happy. I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then I started righting down every thing I ate, and I used www.fitday.com to help me track my calories. I was only consuming 500-600 calories per day. I was following the only eat 3 meals a day plan that I was told to do. I just wasn't very hungry even when it came time to eat. I wasn't eating very much. Then I decided that it just wasn't cutting it. I started eating a snack in the morning and a snack around 4. Lo and behold, the weight started to come back off. Got on the scales this morning, and I was down another pound from yesterday. That makes me very happy. I have GOT to start exercising. I'm going to try out the girls at the gym again, and hopefully that will work. I want to be down a total of 40 pounds before we go to California in October. I only have 12 more pounds to go before that goal is met. I feel confident that I can get there. I would love to be down a total of 75 pounds before Christmas.

It was a busy week for us. The boys started back to school. TB started 6th grade, and I was talking to his teacher Friday night. Her son plays on the football team that TB does, and I was shocked to hear how much he participates in class. He is wanting to do problems on the board. I don't think people realize how BIG this is for him. KB started 5th grade, and he is loving it. He has the same teacher that TB had last year. I'm so thankful that they have such amazing teachers. TB had his first football scrimmage Friday night. I will just say that he did okay, and that it was HOT. I'm tired of the heat. I really do hate it. The girls are finally used to the boys going back to school. That took nearly 4 days for them to get used to.

I go in tomorrow for my first fill. I'm very excited about it. I just want it to work for me, and I know it will

What a Weekend...

2010-08-16T08:17:00.002-05:00

Went Friday to our Ladies Retreat for church. Got to hear Erica Branch give her testimony on Friday night and sing. The woman can flat out sing too. She has a beautiful voice, and a wonderful testimony of the faithfulness of God. Even when we don't know why he has allowed something to happen. I was going to stay the night, but dumb me didn't take a blanket or a pillow. I didn't even think about it, but thankfully the retreat was close enough that I could drive home for the evening. I missed my husband any way. I got up at 630 on Saturday morning, and went back for the day sessions. Erica talked about Ruth and Naomi. What an amazing story, and again God provided for Ruth and Naomi even in their darkest hours. What a faithful God we serve. She also talked about how to have a personal relationship with God. Gave us tips on how to get closer to Him. Tips on how to pray. I've always been a prayer. I pray when I'm driving if I'm not singing along to the music on the Christian radio station. I sometimes wake in the night, and I will pray. Usually it is because God has put somebody on my heart. I always pray before bed, and usually when I get up. I don't think I realized just how much I pray until this weekend. She was telling us that she writes down her prayers, and that she keeps a prayer journal. I think I might start doing that. That way I can see how God is working in my life and those lives around me. She came to church yesterday and sang. Pastor preached a message on Sunday. Loved what he had to say. I always love what he has to say though.

Ever since Hubster's and I little fight on Tuesday, things have been wonderful. I don't if that cleared the air or what, but it has been heavenly around here. I couldn't really ask for much more than that.

The boys started back to school this morning. I'm excited for them to start, but I think I'm going to miss them. It is very quiet around here, but I'm sure that I can get used to it.

I gained a couple of pounds a few days ago. I got to tracking my calorie intake, and I was only eating between 600- 700 calories a day. That was it. The only thing that I can think is that my body was holding onto every calorie that I was eating. I upped my calories to between 800-900 over the weekend, and the 2 pounds I had gained came off. I still can't eat very much.

Don't Know...

2010-08-12T10:18:00.002-05:00

what to think any more. Hubster seems to be in a funk. We got in a fight on Tuesday night at a restaurant. That never happens, but I really don't know what to do. I know he doesn't like doing what he is doing, but I don't know how to fix that. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. I hate even talking to him about it because I start to feel like I'm nagging. His working 6 or 7 days a week is not helping our marriage at all. We have zero time together because he is so tired when he gets home. I'm to the point where I try to stay out of his way. I have to walk on egg shells around him.

The boys started football practice this week. TB is all bruised from practice yesterday. KB is loving it. Tonight is Meet the Teacher's night at school. I can't believe that their summer is already over. They start back to school on Monday. We never got to take a mini-vacation this year because of Hubster's job. I wish we would have had time to do something.

The girls are growing, growing, growing.

I'm doing very well after the Lap-band. I'm so glad that I had it done. I just wish that people understood that this still requires me to make it work. It is only a tool. It helps me to stop eating. I had to go in Monday for my post-op check, and they did an un-fill. I was having a hard time eating. They took what little bit of saline was in the ban out. Amazing what a difference it made. I'm certainly glad that I did the 2 week pre-op diet. It has helped me tremendously. I am no longer craving any thing sweet or high carbs or high fat. I'm only craving healthy things and protein. I met my first weight loss goal on Monday. I have 3 more goals to make including the great big one. I'm very confident that I will make that one.

Banded

2010-08-05T12:12:00.002-05:00

I'm now officially in the land of the banded people. I got banded on Monday, and it hasn't been all that bad. I'm having a hard time eating, and what I mean by that is that I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry at all. I have to force myself to eat and drink, and then it is only a little bit. I'm actually feeling pretty good over all. A little bit tired, but still good. My incisions hurt. I have 5 of them.

The boys went to church camp. They left on Sunday. I've missed them. I can't wait to hear how it was. I would have loved to be able to do something like that when I was growing up, but I wasn't allowed to.

Questions and Concerns...

2010-07-28T11:56:00.003-05:00

One of the things that I never thought about when I started the journey to get the Lap-band was my marriage. It is not something that has ever crossed my mind until yesterday. I was online on a lap-band forum, when I came across a lady that was getting divorced. She was claiming it was due to the Lap-band. That it changed her life dramatically. That is when she said that she wished that she would have researched how many couples end up divorced after Lap-band. The figure is any where between 60-80%. Wow! That is a huge number. I can't believe how big that is. I'm not worried about my marriage, but it does give me pause. It makes me wonder why that number is so big. What about their marriages made it go south? I'm really curious. I want to avoid all those pitfalls. I don't believe I ever settled with Hubster, which is why some experts think the number is so high. I think that I got the best husband in the world.

I also wonder if my body will ever stop craving things that are not good for me. I would love to have a cookie, a piece of cake, french fries, a hamburger, and a steak. The caffeine craving has gone away, but will the other cravings ever go away. I picked the kids up Wendy's for lunch, and the smell of their food in the car today was awful. I ended up eating a french fry and a chicken nugget, but I did stop myself at that. I refused to eat any thing else. Instead I came home, and I made my protein shake that I am supposed to drink. Amazingly the cravings for that food did go away somewhat. A kid's meal is sitting on the table, and I don't want it. Maybe I answered my own question.

Yesterday Hubster and I went to T-mobile and picked up TB's 12th birthday present. We got him the new Samsung Gravity T. He is loving it. He certainly wasn't expecting it. We refuse to get him the internet on it. If he wants that added to his plan, he has to pay for it.

I got the boys taken care of next week. They are going to spend Sunday night with some friends of Hubster and I. They have to be at church at 8 AM on Monday morning to be ready for camp. I'm praying that God will bless them in many ways next week. They should be back home around noon on Thursday.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go and get my hair done. Today, I'm going to run up to the gym and work out. Have to work off that chicken nugget that I just ate. I'm very disappointed in myself over that. I wish I hadn't done it.

Sunday...

2010-07-25T16:22:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is my pre-op appointment. Getting very excited about the surgery. Ready for the surgery to be done and over.

We were sitting on the couch last night when KB was asking me a question. I had turned around to look at him just as he turned his head, and that is when I noticed a knot the size of a half dollar on his neck. He said it doesn't hurt, but my heart started pounding. Knots on the neck can turn out to not be good. I'm calling his doctor first thing in the morning. I'm praying that it is only a swollen lymph node. He hasn't been sick, but his energy levels have not been all that great for a 10 year old. I've been chalking it up to bad sleeping habits.

Hubster took the boys and KG to see Cats and Dogs up on base today. I came home after church with BG. I didn't think she would sit through that movie. Hubster said that KG slept through the entire movie. Go figure.

Day 5 of the Pre-op Diet...

2010-07-23T21:15:00.003-05:00

and let me say, that my body is slowly getting used to it. I've noticed an upswing in my energy levels, and I actually feel better.. It might help that I have been working out too. I'm proud of myself, but I'm still getting the Lap-Band done. I'm ready to get it done and over. Next week is shaping up to be pretty busy. Have a pre-op appointment at 1015 for all of my testing. I figured out how to drink my shakes. Amazingly, if I mix 1 scoop (calls for 2) and 8 oz of skim milk, I can drink it. It isn't all that bad.

Found out today that the boys can go to church camp if I can figure out where to come up with $350 before August 2. They were both really wanting to go, and it would probably be a fantastic time for them to be gone with me having surgery on that Monday.

I've about decided that I'm not going to tell any body else about the surgery. Feedback from people has been 50/50 to say the least.

12 Years Ago Today...

2010-07-21T07:36:00.002-05:00

my life changed drastically for the good. It was 12 years ago today, that my oldest child was born. First off, Happy Birthday TB! It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that TB was born. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can remember the twice weekly OB visits. I can remember how incredibly hot it was that summer. I can remember wondering how much longer was I going to have to be on strict bed rest. I had already been on bed rest for 6 weeks, when I went in for my OB appointment on July 20. I was at 35 weeks, and TB had decided that he had had enough. He just decided that he would stop moving around in there. Decided to scare us all to death including the doctor. Dr. R decided to do a stress test to see what was going on, and in an hours time there was just a heart beat no movement. I was giving orange juice, and still he wouldn't move. (He was being stubborn. I should have known what it would bring.) My mom was with me, since I wasn't allowed to drive. Hubster wasn't even in the picture. I refused to talk to him at the time. Dr. R. walked into the room looked at the test, and told me to go and have a big lunch. Then to come back to her office. I knew something was wrong when I was taken into her office instead of a room. It was at that point she told us that we were going to be having a baby the next day unless something drastic happened over night with TB's heartbeat. I wasn't any where prepared to have TB at 35 weeks. I still had 5 weeks to go, but he had other ideas. I guess he was ready to enter this world. My SIL at the time, Jennifer, came to stay the night with me at the hospital. They had hooked me up to monitors and all sorts of fun things. My mother, took it upon herself, to go and get Hubster. She thought he at least deserved to be there for the birth of his son. She brought him by the hospital that night to see me, and it was then that I started to soften towards him again. Could have had something to do with how scared I was. I had practically gone through a difficult pregnancy by myself, and not because Hubster didn't want to be there. It was because I wouldn't let him be there. The next morning, the 21st, they started the pitocin at 6 AM. Hubster was by my side the entire time, except for when they came into give me my epidural. They kicked everybody out of the room, and that is when all of the fun started. My water broke before they could get the epi in, and TB decided he was ready NOW to make an appearance. The nurse asked me who I wanted in the room with me, and I told her to grab the first person walking down the hall. That happened to be my SIL at the time, Jennifer. They grabbed a doctor walking by to come in and deliver my baby. It was a whirlwind 10 minutes. It was all over and done with so fast, that at times I wonder if all of that really did happen that way. I think Jennifer can tell you that yes it did. Poor Hubster wasn't even there for the birth of his first child. He got stuck out in the hallway, and didn't get to see or hold TB for over an hour. The thing was that after all that happened, that Hubster never left my side except to sleep. We have been together every day since TB's birth. Not only do I celebrate TB's birthday today, but I also celebrate a new beginning for Hubster and I. We were married 5 months later, and I am so glad that my mom thought he needed to be there for the birth of TB.

Now, that I have that out of the way, let us get back to me. :) Yesterday was day 2 in the journey to my new life. I just couldn't take the protein shakes. They were horrible. I was gagging trying to drink it, so I decided to just try and drink my way to enough protein without a ton of calories. Still don't think I've gotten enough protein in 2 days, but I think it was better. I went to the gym last night, and in 35 minutes rode 7.5 miles on the bike. Never dropped below 85 rpms. I was proud of myself. Probably not all that great, but for somebody that had become a couch potato, I thought it was pretty good. I'm hoping to make it either after church tonight or before again to work out again. I caught myself taking a nibble here and there when I was fixing the kids lunch, but I spit it all out as soon as I realized what I was doing. I am bound and determined to make this work. Looking forward to the lapband. I have pre-op testing next Monday at the hospital. Sounds like loads of fun, and I hope that everything comes back okay. I don't want any roadblocks thrown up now.

Nature of the Blog is going to change a bit...

2010-07-20T08:42:00.003-05:00

for a few weeks any way. We are T- minus 13 days till lapband surgery. I'm excited, but I'm also wondering if this is the right thing to do. Not feeling a lot of support from Hubster on this. He keeps telling me to do what I want to do because I will any way. Not what I am wanting or needing to hear. I guess his feelings were made known when he asked me if he needed to be there for the surgery. I have to keep remembering that is for me and not for any body else. I've already gotten some negative feedback from some people. Most any body that I have told though have been nothing but supportive and excited for me.

I started the 2 week liquid portion of the diet yesterday. I had my last ever coke(soda for those not from the south) on Saturday. No more fizzy drinks for me. I can have 2 protein drinks a day, jello, cottage cheese, and soup for supper. I don't think I had enough protein yesterday because I felt terrible last night. I was wiped out. Thankfully after the surgery is done on the 2nd, I will only have 2 days of liquid diet before I can slowly start introducing soft solids back into my diet.

I sometimes think that people will judge me for doing this. I don't think they have any idea just exactly how hard this is actually to do. There is a HUGE life changing experience. There are certain foods and drinks that you are never able to eat or drink again. This is a lifestyle change. You have to be committed to changing eating habits and exercise habits. I still feel it is best for me in the long run. I am doing what I feel needs to be done for me.

What A Wonderful Hubby I Have...

2010-07-14T10:11:00.002-05:00

He sent me flowers on Monday, and when he got home from work he took me on a date. It was completely unexpected, but it was so nice to sit at supper and talk to him without a child present. It was such a sweet surprise, and I loved every minute of it.

We got an email on Monday from TB's football coach. We have to pay the athletic fees for him, and they are $250 for the entire year. Geesh, I'm wondering if they can be any higher. I didn't realize that they were so much.

We also had to buy a new vacuum yesterday. Another expense that we weren't expecting. I'm just wondering what the next expense will be.

My plans for Friday got cancelled. The wife I was going to go with got a temp job, so she can't go. I understand that completely though. We will try and get together another time.

All of the kids are doing fantastic. We have plans for the weekend. We have some friends coming over Saturday night for TB's and Hubster's birthday dinner. I'm hoping to get a hold of one of Hubster's very good Seabee friends to see if he can come over. Hubster has to work on Saturday, but he gets off at 330.

The Weekend...

2010-07-12T09:59:00.002-05:00

It was super busy, and it flew by. I can't believe that today is already Monday. It was drill weekend for Hubster, so he was gone most of the weekend.

Saturday the kids and I went over to a friend's house. She had invited a few of the wives and their kids over to swim, since our husbands were back at drill. The kids had a ball, and I got a sunburn. One of the joys of having fair skin. We had so much fun there. We saw 4 other wives, and I enjoy spending time with all of them.

Sunday the kids and I went to a baby shower for my nephew's fiancee. They are expecting a baby boy in September. The town it is in is 170 miles away, so we left the house at 830 Sunday morning. It makes for a long day when you are the only driver. They ended up with a ton of stuff, and I still have to order their baby bed that is from my mom, my brother, and me. I got to see my brother, and he is looking so good since his lapband surgery. Even his color is looking better. I can't wait till my surgery, and I hope that I do as good on it as he is. He says that he has to remember to eat because he forgets.

Hubster on Saturday bought us a new set of sheets that were 1000 count from up on base. I got home after spending the day at our friend's house to our bed being made. I must say there is something incredibly sexy about coming home to new sheets and a bed being made.

The kids are finally all better. We are down to 5 weeks before school starts, so I need to start buying school supplies and uniforms for the boys. Think I will start that either this weekend or next weekend. Don't want that to sneak up on us. I will wait till the very last minute though to buy them new shoes. They both grow so fast, that shoes might not fit in 5 weeks time.

Wow!..

2010-07-07T15:28:00.002-05:00

I wasn't expecting things to happen so rapidly, but I'm not complaining. I scheduled my lap-band surgery today. I go in on July 19th for my pre-op consult. They told me that it should be between $150 - $200 for the stuff I need for the 2 weeks prior to the surgery date. They also scheduled my surgery for August 2. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. This is a big life changing thing that is about to happen.

The girls have both been sick, so there won't be any church tonight for us. That means I won't be in church again until next Wednesday. That is a long time. Feels weird.

TB had football practice today. He said they ran a lot, but that they got to play basketball for the last 10 minutes of practice.

I can't believe it has been a month...

2010-07-06T00:26:00.002-05:00

since my last post. Where has the time gone? We seem to be busy every weekend with something, and I know that when August rolls around it will be even worse. We will have 2 kids in football, and they will both have practice at 2 different locations.

What is going on at our house? KG is just about potty trained. She still won't poop in the toilet, but that is the only time she has accidents. Thankfully that is usually once a day, and she will come tell me as soon as she does it. TB and KB are enjoying their time off from school, but I think they may be ready to go back. I know that I am ready for them to go back. Hubster is working, and he calls it a job. I don't think he likes it all that much, but it pays the bills. He will do what he needs to do I guess. We are hoping that next summer he will be active duty, and we will be able to move. In my world, I was approved by the insurance company for lapband. I'm just waiting to hear from the doctor's office for my surgery date. I had my psych eval and nutritional counseling last Wednesday. They told me once that is done, they will set my pre-op date and surgery date. I'm looking forward to it. Still having terrible headaches. They are bad enough that I'm thinking about going back to the doctor. I had a headache for 2 solid weeks, and nothing was taking care of them. I had a massage today, and he told me that my muscles in my neck and shoulders were extremely tight and tense which could be causing the headaches. My doctor was thinking I was having muscle spasms. The massauses basically spent an hour working on my back, my neck, and my shoulders. I'm very sore tonight from the massage. I did come out of there without a headache though. I want my next massage to be more relaxing though.

Another dear Seabee wife contacted me today to go for a girl's day out in a few weeks. We haven't gotten to have a monthly meeting since March, so we are planning on a meeting on the 16th. I really am looking forward to it. The kids and I are going to go to another Seabee sister's house for a pool party this weekend. The guys have drill, so she invited a bunch of us over. I can't wait to see everybody again.

Hubster and I are doing pretty good. Still stressing about the bills, but that isn't new. We could use some more date nights, but I don't know how to arrange those. I hate asking any body to watch the kids, and I'm just not sure if my oldest is ready yet to man the home front for a few hours. I know that Hubster reads this, so maybe he will take the hint and plan an evening out. I know that I could use it.

I went and got a pedicure on Saturday, and that is usually my time. I ended up taking KG with me. She was crying wanting her toes pretty, and my mom and Hubster guilted me into taking her. She was the best thing in there. I got lots of compliments on how well behaved she was. Saturday was also Hubster's birthday, so we went to his favorite Mexican food place to eat supper. It helps that he worked for them a few years because we always get seated right away, and we are always treated so great there. They put us in a side room where 2 women were. While we were waiting on the check, my dad took all 4 kids outside. The women commented on how polite, how quiet, and how well behaved all of them were. She couldn't believe how well they all listened. That always makes me feel good because I know that I pretty much raised these kids by myself for 10 months, and that means I didn't screw them up to bad. WOO HOO!

I did finally talk Hubster into flying into Vegas in October for our trip to California. We are going to fly into Vegas on Tuesday night and rent a van. Then drive the 8 hours to where his family lives. Then on Monday we are going to drive back to Vegas to stay there for a couple of nights. He has never been, and we are going to take the kids to Hoover Dam. My SIL said that she would love to come with us to Vegas, and that she would stay with all 4 kids one night. That way Hubster and I could have a "date". I found some really good deals into Vegas in October. I think it should be fun. It is much better than driving all that way. That is for sure.

Update on Us...

2010-06-05T09:41:00.002-05:00

We started off the week bad, but it ended up great. Hubster ended up with 2 job offers, and he starts to work on Monday. Hubster's last active duty paycheck deposited on Friday, so we are good to go until he gets paid. Yesterday was a big weight off my shoulders.

The boys and Daddy had boys day yesterday. He took them to see Prince of Persia. They all raved about the movie. Now I want to swee it. Think Hubster and I are going to go and see Killers tonight. Going to put the girls to bed early, and then go and see the 950 showing. It looks funny, and I want to see it.

I've got a doctors appointment for a consultation for lapband on Monday. I'm hoping that we can get the process rolling. I had an appointment on Thursday with my OB/GYN. She took a bunch of blood for some tests. I have to take Provera 7 days a month for the next 3 months, and then I have to go and see her again. She said that she will set up an endotimretral abulation at that time. She is hoping to do it at the same time I have the lapband, but she said that she would determine that when I go back in.

Just feel that every thing might be falling into place, and the issues on the homefront seem to have disappeared. I'm so happy that Hubster is home.

I Just have to Let Stuff Go...

2010-05-26T08:51:00.002-05:00

I just have to. Otherwise it just keeps eating at me. Hubster has been busy this week applying for jobs. Amazing how that works when you find out that the check you were expecting to get on the 1st isn't there. Seems that when you separate from the military that DFAS holds your last check for 4 to 8 weeks. That way they can determine if you owe money. He went to the place he was working when he deployed. He is supposed to have a job. They are required by law to have a job for them. He went to tell them that he wanted to come back to work ASAP, but they have been avoiding him like the plague. I honestly don't think he has a job there, and they are scrambling to see what they need to do. We are praying that something comes up with all of the resumes that Hubster has sent out over the last 2 days.

Today is the boys last day of school until August. They were both excited. KB is going to stay the night at a friend's house, and TB has an end of the year party at somebody's house this afternoon. I'm pretty proud of the young men my boys are turning into. I think I handled the fort pretty well while Hubster was deployed.

The home front is somewhat better. We haven't sat down and discussed any thing, but I know that once the money issue is situated, that everything else will fall into place. That is our biggest problem. I'm really just trying to let things go. This past weekend was one of the best weekends we have had in a long time. I just finally broke down on Friday. I just couldn't go on any longer pretending that things are hunky dory when they aren't. I told Hubster that we needed to have a talk, but by the time he got home from the capital, I didn't have the energy or the inclination to talk about it. I decided that I'm just going to let it go.

There has been so much death, sickness, sadness, and divorce around me over the last 2 weeks, that I just can't believe it. A friend of mine on Sunday night told me that satan is really hammering at our marriages, and I can certainly agree with that. It seems like every time I turn around somebody else is getting divorced. Hubster's friend found out his wife was cheating on him while they were deployed. He was still wanting to work on their marriage, but she was done. That seems to be a common theme.

I Feel Alone...

2010-05-20T09:01:00.003-05:00

I feel like I'm the only one out there going through a rough patch with Hubster being home. Is it just me, or am I just looking for things to go wrong? Are there others out there going through a rough patch? It isn't so bad that I want to just throw my hands up and quit, but it hasn't been pleasant. It just seems that every thing I hear and read about from other spouses, that every thing is just wonderful. That I'm the only one going through this rough patch. Maybe there is something wrong with me? Things are awkward between us. That is the best way that I can describe it. I don't know. Maybe it is just me that feels awkward.

I traded in one stress for another one. I traded in the stress of him being deployed only to have the stress of not knowing where the next paycheck is going to come from. Knowing that we have bills to pay on the 1st, and there isn't going to be a paycheck there to pay for them. We have to count on Hubster having a side job in order to pay them. Oh, how I hate this. I don't think words can describe how much I hate it.

I try to put on my happy face. I try to hide how much things are bothering me.

We have to run the paperwork up to the Tricare office, so that we will continue to have Tricare Prime during the TAMP period. That has to be done today as well as 2 more bills to be paid for. That sounds like loads of fun to me. I'm just waiting on Hubster to get home from a side job that he is doing. At least he made some good money on it. He has another one that we hope will pan out. That one should make him any where from $700 - $800. I think the guy will do it. He has had the light for his kid's basketball court for 3 years. He wants it installed. Here is hoping that one pans out for us. We could sure use it.

I'm Ready to Pull My Hair Out...

2010-05-15T19:27:00.002-05:00

I want a break from every body. I want a break from my kids. I want a break from my husband. I want to be by myself. I want to just sit in the quiet and read a book or maybe even just sit. I don't want to have to think (worry) about any thing.

We went to the movies and say Diary of a Wimpy Kid with all 4 kids. The girls did good for the first 60 minutes, and then they started acting up. I ended up outside with them for the last 10 minutes of the movie. That was fine. It was a stupid movie any way. We then went to the commissary to get groceries. That was fun. I was nearly in tears by the time I was done. I'm seriously stressed . Not knowing when or if Hubster has a job. Knowing that another deployment is looming, and what I really want is for him to have a steady paycheck. I don't think he understands how stressed I am over it. Not knowing when or if you are going to have a paycheck is scaring me. I'm not nice to the kids. I'm not nice to Hubster because all I can do is worry about it.

We went and saw Just Wright and Robin Hood yesterday. Loved them both. We want to take the boys to see Robin Hood. Hoping that we might be able to do it tonight after the girls in bed. I think they will love it.

Another Week...

2010-05-10T10:47:00.002-05:00

Another week has gone by. Nothing exciting has happened. I got a new Bible for Mother's Day. I love it. I got to take a nap after lunch yesterday, but that was pretty much the end of it. Our church has the kids bring in flowers for the moms. My oldest wouldn't do it. I laugh it off as him being at that age, but it did hurt my feelings some. He said that he had made me something for Mother's Day, so I didn't need a flower. He had made me a card. It was cute.

Hubster is out looking at or working on, not sure which, on 2 different side jobs today. We could really use the money. Especially since we aren't even sure that he has a job. He was given a job lead yesterday from our Sunday School teacher. We have been hearing that you can't find a job in the field that Hubster is in. The market is flooded with electricians which hurts us in 2 different ways. It drives the pay down, and that is if you can even find a job. He keeps telling me that he still has his original job, but I don't trust that job to be there. I don't care how much USERRA is supposed to protect the jobs of reserve members. It didn't help us the last time. Companies have a way around it. It happened to us the last time.

My headaches have come back with a vengenance. I've had a headache every single day for the last 2 weeks. It is awful. Add that to the issues I'm having with my body that earns me a visit to the OB/GYN, and I'm done. I'm sick of this. I'm not looking forward to that visit. Now, that I have scheduled the OB visit, I'm sure my body will respond in kind and quit doing what it was doing.

He has been home for 2 weeks now...

2010-05-07T08:30:00.002-05:00

I mean home home. Not just on American soil. Still haven't figured out what to do about a job. I guess he isn't too worried about it. I worry, but that is me I guess.

We talked to a guy at church Wednesday night, and he was asking what Hubster was going to do. I told him that he was looking for a job, and that he was going to sign up for another deployment. That one of the Seabee battalions was needing people to go. He said he could tell us which battalion it was, and he named of the unit. He had hit the nail on the head, and said he had seen their reports. They were in need of a bunch of guys. Still trying to figure out if I'm ready for another deployment, but whatever happens, happens. I will get through it. One day at a time. That is the best that you can do.

I went to Mardels the other day, and I found a book. I wish I would have had this book at the beginning of his last deployment. It is called Hero's at Home. It is a really good read so far. The books are only a $1, and I should pick up some to hand out to those that ask me questions. It is an amazing read.

Hubster and I are still doing good. I'm still shocked at how easy the integration process has been this go around. I don't know if he feels the same or not. He doesn't talk. I keep dreaming of going back to the IP to spend some time. Maybe soon Hubster and I will get a chance to get away for a weekend. We could use it. People don't seem to realize how important it is to carve out some couple time. If you don't do that, your marriage will suffer.

He is taking the boys with him tonight to go bowling with the men at church. It sounds like they will have a good time. Our friends are coming over tomorrow for bbq and dominoes. I was laughing and saying that this makes us sound old. I love dominoes though, and we have them hooked on it also.

Another Post in the Same Week...

2010-04-28T21:56:00.003-05:00

We were on our way home from church tonight when I decided that I wanted to talk to Hubster. He usually turns the radio on, so I don't get a chance to really talk to him in the car. He has been home for a little over 2 weeks now, and I told him that I have kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I even asked him if he felt like the reintegration process this time has been easier. He agreed with me. It has felt like that we have picked up right where we left off. I just remember how hard it was the last deployment. It scares me in a way that this time, as of right now, seems to be flowing so easily. I'm praying that another shoe doesn't drop.

I did tell him that I miss those intense feelings that I experienced the first couple of days he was back in the States. Who wouldn't miss that high though? I'm enjoying every minute of our time together. We are already talking about taking a little minivacation during the summer. Just the 2 of us. Maybe during the time that we go to California to see his family. I think we might take a little 2 night trip to Tahoe or Reno. I could care less about the gambling, but the area is gorgeous. I'm sure that he would love it as much as I do.

Not Sure How Much I Will Post...

2010-04-26T09:16:00.003-05:00

since Hubster is home. I just don't know what to write about.

We finally made it home Saturday morning at 145. I didn't think we would ever get here. It took nearly 13 hours to get home. The trip normally takes 9, but it seems that we had issues the entire time.

We had a fish fry and birthday party for Ms. Diva, aka KG, on Saturday night. She had so much fun as well as I did with my friend.

Sunday we went to church. Everybody was so glad to finally see Hubster. We went to Hubster's favorite restaurant for lunch. It was on the way to the airport. MIL and SIL went home yesterday. Last night at church, Pastor made the announcement that Hubster had made it home safely from Iraq. He asked Hubster to please stand up, and every body stood up and clapped. It brought tears to my eyes. Then he shared a special scripture about wives, and he said I was one of the greatest wives that he had ever seen.

Today is just getting everybody back in a routine. The boys have achievement tests at school, so their week is a little off any way. KG is already asking when she is going to be able to go to Ms. Heather's house to play with the blocks. We are planning on taking them tomorrow, so that way Hubster and I can have a lunch date. Sounds very exciting. Hubster has a dentist appointment today. I'm sure that is going to be fun. I had already made it before we found out that the VA was going to take care of his dental problems. Oh well, it won't hurt for him to get to know them.

We are still in that honeymoon phase of the return. Where we are just happy to be together, but I can already feel the doubts creeping in on my side. He has been awfully quiet. He doesn't talk, so I don't know what is going on with him. I hate asking questions because I feel that maybe he would just tell me. The kids though are still doing great with him. The girls cry when he leaves.

It Has Been a Long Time...

2010-04-22T16:21:00.003-05:00

or so it seems since my last post.

The girls and Hubster are all taking naps, so I thought I would give a little update. We had a wonderful time during Hubster's liberty. Hubster and I had 2 nights to ourselves before the family invaded. I was so glad that the kids had a 4 day weekend. My parents and his sister and mom brought all 4 kids to GP for them to see him. We spent a day at the beach, and then we went and saw the USS Alabama. It was so much fun. I love history and every thing to do with it. I found that fascinating. We even got to tour a submarine. Now that was interesting. No way I could ever serve on one though.

I'm ready to go home though to my bed. The girls and I stayed with Hubster in GP while the rest of the family went home on Monday. This out processing by the Navy has been something. He started the process on Monday. Hubster was off on Wednesday. He went in for 3 hours today for medical and dental, and he still isn't done. Has some paperwork to fill out, and then we should be able to make the 9 hour road trip home tomorrow. I sure hope so because KG keeps saying she wants to sleep in her bed. I can't say I blame her. Hubster hasn't even seen our new house. I hope he likes it.

I forgot to tell how well the girls did upon seeing their Daddy. They wouldn't let him put them down. I didn't even get as much as a hello from them. They were all about their Daddy. I'm glad that they went right to him. That always worried me.

The Reunion...

2010-04-14T05:53:00.004-05:00

Photo was taken shortly after Hubster got off the bus.

I forgot how intense the feeling would be of seeing Hubster again. I knew where the buses were the entire time. I will tell you there are not any words that can describe the intense feelings that you experience when I read the words. "We are on base". I started to shake. I was having a hard time remembering to breath. Then when you catch the first glimpse of the buses as they are being paraded around the base. Yes, they were paraded around the base before they got to us. They made the turn to get into the home stretch, and everybody that was there started shouting and hollering. Hubster was on the second bus. He was waving at me from the window, so I knew exactly where he was at. I watched his progress down the aisle. I was not losing sight of him. I got a picture of him as he stepped off the bus. They had told us to stay off the grass, but as soon as he stepped foot off, I ran to him. I could have cared less about the grass, and everybody else was the same way. If they didn't want us on the grass, they should have had the meeting in the parking lot. We were there nearly 2 hours waiting on his bag.

My heart did break for those that didn't have family there to greet them. I hugged a few of them to welcome them home. I hugged his friend a couple of times. He didn't have any family there to greet him. He actually took the picture above of us. I was kind of shocked that there were not that many people there. For over 200 Seabees, there were maybe 40 families there to greet their Seabee. I figured that there would be more with how close we were to the training place. I know that we live 2 states over, but I fully expected to see more people.

I probably won't post any thing else until after Hubster gets to see the kids. They are set to come out to see him in 2 days. KG saw the picture of Hubster and I on my FB page. Grandma showed it to her, and she told Grandma...There is my Daddy. There is my Daddy, and he is with my Mommy. Does Daddy get to hold me? I can't wait for her to actually see her Daddy. Daddy said that he would hold her as much as she wanted him too. BG was also hollering Daddy at the picture. I hope they take to him right away. I've tried to make sure that they know who he is.

The End...

2010-04-12T01:04:00.004-05:00

I'm writing this post the night before Hubster is set to be home. I will publish this post as soon as Hubster has safely made his way back into my arms. I wanted to try to put into words what it is like the day and night before they get home.

I woke up Sunday morning at 5 AM. It is now Monday morning at 1 AM. I'm still wide awake. I am running on pure adrenaline right now. The excitement of seeing Hubster after 7 months is beyond any words that I could use to describe it. I sit here on the bed, and I anxiously count the hours until I think he might be here. I have set my phone beside the bed waiting for his picture to pop up when he has finally landed safely in the US. It will be the first phone call from his cell phone in 205 days. I don't know what kind of emotions I will experience when that first call comes through, but I'm sure they will be all over the place. I've got to try and get some sleep. I'm wiped out.

It is now 730 PM on Monday night. Hubster still hasn't made it home. They had mechanical issues with the plane, so instead of being here with me, he sits in a hotel room still over a thousand miles away. Hoping to get home Tuesday. I'm not nervous or anxious any more. I just want to have him home. The saying....SEMPER GUMBY....certainly fits with today.

HE IS BACK IN THE STATES!!!!!!!!

Deployments are Like Pregnancies...

2010-04-12T00:35:00.004-05:00

I sent this to Hubster towards the end of the last deployment. I came across it this afternoon when I was looking at the old emails from him that I had received while he was gone. I kept every single one of the emails that he sent to me.

This has been the longest 10 months of my life. I am starting to think of this as kinda like being pregnant.

You suffer for the first few months with sickness. ( You wake up every morning with your stomach churning. Hoping that you don't get a knock on your door from a person in a dress uniform. Looking at every car that might happen to stop or slow down in front of your house and praying that it is not somebody from the military. )

Then you have your second trimester where you start to feel the movement of the baby and you don't have that sickness anymore. ( You have learned at this point not to worry as much about that car that has stopped. You still have that worry in the back of your mind, but you pray every day that the Lord will keep him safe for you. It is about this time that you hit the half way point. This is when the baby moves. You realize that their really is something there. That it won't be long until you see them again. That you have made it through what is supposedly the worst part.)

Then you hit that final trimester. Oh the excitement of finally getting to see the face of who you have been carrying under your heart for this long. There is still some pain and agony involved. The anticipation of the delivery. The delivery that keeps getting moved back. By the time that you have reached the 9 month stage you just want it to be over. You are so tired. Every little thing that can go wrong probably will during this time. ( This is when you start to get to the nitty gritty. It becomes hard for you to focus. All you want to think about is the end. You are tired. You are stressed. This is the hardest part of all. This is the longest 3 months of your life. You just want them to be over. You want to see the end result. )

Then you finally make it to delivery. The labor is not easy, but the rewards of finally seeing your child are worth it. ( I feel that we are in the delivery stage about now. This portion of the deployment is not easy. There is still going to be alot of pushing, but in the end it will all be worth it. Just as you think that you have finally made it to the end, something happens to make it get pushed back. But when we make it to that final step, the step of actually seeing each other again, it will be worth it. The pain and loneliness will just vanish. All we will think about is how wonderful it is to be in each others arms again.)

Hmmmmm....

2010-04-09T22:12:00.002-05:00

Life has been so incredibly hectic this week, that I haven't had the time to blog. I decided that I would tonight, since the girls are in bed and asleep.

Things are weighing heavily on me. Hubster is due home soon. There is so much joy in knowing that ours is ending. I feel a sadness though too. It feels like another chapter is coming to an end. It is coming to an end. The anxiety of the not knowing, the what ifs. I just need to give them over to God.

I went and got the base decal today for the Explorer, and the guy was a total butt. My drivers license is still in my maiden name. He told me he could make a big stink about it, and that it could cause me problems. Fine...Whatever...What would you like me to do? I don't exactly have the time to go to the DPS office, and then have it changed to my married name. It is the only thing that is still in my maiden name. Yes, I know it needs to be changed, but I don't have any desire to run up there to do it. I have car insurance. I have the title. I have the registration. What else do you want? I guess they want my name to be the same as my husband's last name. Give me a freaking break.

I have so much to do tomorrow. I'm hoping that I can get every thing on my list completed. Plus sometime during that time talk to Hubster.

Part of the Deployment Check list is Done...

2010-04-05T21:34:00.002-05:00

I can mark off clean out Hubster's half of the closet that I took over. I can mark off the clean out the dresser, so that Hubster has a place to put his clothes. That is the fun of moving during a deployment. I packed his clothes up, but I never unpacked them. I just took over the entire dresser and 3/4 of the closet. Had to rearrange some things though in order to clear out of a place for his clothes. The problem is that I can't remember where exactly I put his clothes. Oops. Hope that I find them soon.

I can also mark off the clean my house off my list. It is now cleaner than it has been since we moved in. I'm loving how nice it looks. Anybody want to come and visit?

Just need to start making a list of things to pack. Find my swimsuit. Find Hubster's swimsuit, and pack his bag too for our trip to Destin. I can't wait to see him. Love that man more than he will ever know.

Happy Easter!!!

2010-04-04T12:34:00.002-05:00

The last holiday that we will spend without Hubster this deployment. I can't believe that I can finally type that. This deployment has seemed so long in most aspects, but in some it has seemed so short.

Easter is one of those holidays that I think people have lost sight of what it really means. It is wonderful to know that I serve a living Savior. One that was crucified on a cross. Who laid down His life for my sins. Then 3 days later arose from the grave. Wow, that sends goosebumps down my arms just thinking about it.

I told Pastor today the due date. He said that was one of the best Easter gifts he could imagine. He can't wait to see Hubster. All of our friends can't wait to see him.

The kids and I went to a friend's house Friday night for supper and games. It was so much fun. I laughed and laughed. I was telling Hubster about it, and I was telling him who was all there. I told him that DH and his wife were there. I know he will know them as soon as he sees them. They sit behind us in church. He finally got exasperated with me, and he told me that he couldn't believe that I wouldn't tell him who DH was. He thought I was just giving him DH's initials like I do when we talk about some of the wives. I started laughing because his name is really DH. He goes by his initials.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out what to wear for Easter and homecoming. I finally decided on some sandals, a jean skirt that I have, and I bought a t-shirt that I think will be cute. It should be all that I need. I've got to get some packing done. It is very close to homecoming time. I was telling somebody that I can't wait to just smell him. You don't realize how much that you miss that smell when they are gone.

We are going this afternoon to Aunt Margaret's and Uncle Gregg's house. The girls will get to hunt eggs there. She texted me about 1130 to see if I wanted to bring them over. The boys hopped all over that one. We went to the 830 service at church this morning. Then I took the kids to Mimi's Cafe for brunch. That place is so good. I really love the food. Told them I was NOT fixing them lunch though. They all 4 pigged out.

Can't Believe I haven't Posted since Sunday...

2010-04-01T22:29:00.002-05:00

Guess this week got away from me. I don't know how that happened. It has been an exciting week to say the least.

MIL is due in next week. She will be staying for 17 days with us. SIL will be in the week after that. She is going to be staying with us for 11 days. The kids are all very excited as am I.

KB is still having issues in school. He got 9 conducts, and I got 2 emails from his teacher. He has been grounded until further notice. He has a book report that is going to be assigned next week, so he is going to get an early start on it tomorrow.

The other kids are doing good. I got a wonderful report on TB from his teacher. I always love that. Everybody seems to just love him. They all talk about how helpful, and loving, and how he always has a smile. Wonder where that same kid is? I don't see him at home. At least he behaves himself at school.

I had to have half my mouth deep cleaned. That is what happens when you don't go to the dentist like you are supposed to. The right side of my mouth is hurting. I had to eat soft foods today. I'm dreading having the other side done.

Not really much else going on. We are very close to Hubster's return. He informed me that he has volunteered to go deploy with another battalion in August. Not sure I'm ready to face another deployment if it comes down to it, but I will. He told me today that he knows the point of contact, and he hopes that gives him a leg up. This seems to be what he wants to do, and I will support him 110% in it. We have not informed the kids that this might be a possibility. I don't see any reason to do that if it doesn't happen. I did inform our Sunday school class, but that was only so that they could also pray that we get God's guidance on this. This is a big deal.

Wrap Up...

2010-03-28T21:38:00.002-05:00

Thursday was actually a good day till I got home. I met Shiloh for Starbucks and pedicures. The people are so nice where we go. They told us to just relax and take our time after they were done. We set there for nearly an hour laughing and chatting. It was very nice and relaxing. Then we met Rachel for lunch. The boys had a musical program Thursday evening that was okay and thankfully short. It was after I got home that things kind of fell apart. I had an email from KB's teacher. I talked to Hubster about the email. It was like being hit in the stomach. He called our Pastor. Who said he would call me to set up a time to talk to KB. Never got a phone call, but this morning my pastor asked me if I got his message. I didn't, so either he called Hubster's cell phone or a wrong number or my phone ate the message.

Friday wasn't any thing exciting. I don't even remember what I did.

Saturday went out with some other Seabee wives to Outback. It was a blast. I had so much fun. When I got home my mom told me that she won't watch the girls again. Seems they cried a bit. UGH! Great. Just what I wanted to hear.

Sunday school, church, and church again were great. I'm starting to feel the stress though of the end of the deployment. I'm really trying not to stress out about it, but I am. I worry about his job. I worry about how things will be when he gets home. I worry about the money situation. I worry about all of these what ifs. I'm stressed to the point where I'm afraid that if any thing else goes wrong that I'm going to shatter. There is that much stress on my shoulders right now. I know that every thing will be fine. It is in God's hands. I feel alone, and I dread Easter Sunday. I'm not looking forward to being alone. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can already tell that Sunday is going to be very hard as it was the last deployment. At least this time, I'm going to church.

The kids have dental appointments in the morning, and I can't find the paperwork I filled out. The printer isn't working, so I need to make sure that I get there early enough to fill it all out again. UGH! Just another thing that I have to deal with.

I Need This Deployment Over.

2010-03-25T23:37:00.003-05:00

I don't think there needs to be any more said. Hubster I love you and miss you.